Four Weddings and a Reunion
by vanimarl
Summary: After graduating Beca and Chloe go their separate ways. Seeing each other sporadically over the next few years results in a pattern of disconnection and reconnection between them. With each encounter their relationship becomes increasingly complex and confused. Very Angsty. I don't own PP. Rated M for language and suggestive adult themes. 30 chapters, updates every few days.
1. Prologue

Chloe took Beca's hands in hers.

"Beca, I'm sure we will always be fast friends," she started, as she leaned in to press their foreheads together, "it's just a shame we never got to talk more about experimenting in our college years." She drew back and winked, but still held onto Beca's hands.

"Maybe let that go now Chloe," was the dismissive reply from Beca. She released their hands and threw her arms around Chloe. They held each other silently for a long time.

 **oOo**

Beca had known for a while that when the time came, saying goodbye to Chloe was going to be the hardest.

From day one in her freshman year she thought Chloe was weird, yet she was still drawn to her. They had wildly different personalities and that wasn't something that Beca usually responded to well. Chloe had completed freaked her out when she barged in on her shower for their second ever encounter, but as soon as they were singing together, she forgot for a moment that they were both naked. The invasion resulted in Chloe successfully convincing her to audition for the Bellas, and so eventually Beca could excuse Chloe's unconventional tactics.

Four years later she couldn't imagine her college years could have been much better, having had the Bellas, and Chloe, in her life. Now that she was moving to LA while Chloe was staying in Atlanta, they would have to get used to not seeing each other and not knowing what was happening in each other's lives every day.

She had grown to love the things that made them different; that Chloe was a sharer while she was so guarded, that Chloe's future plan were general and vague whereas she was very focussed on her career after college, and that Chloe always looked for the positive, compared to her sarcastic view on things. It became the basis of the comfortable routine of how they interacted.

Still, some occasional weirdness remained. Sometimes Beca found Chloe's overt sexuality quite amusing; she was so confident, so uninhibited. But at other times she found it a little intimidating. 'Experimenting', that was the word Chloe had used. She wished she had done more 'experimenting' in college. Beca wasn't certain how she meant it. She wondered if Chloe was seriously propositioning her. For a moment, for just a split second, she was tempted to play along and pretend it wasn't an outrageous suggestion. She assessed it as 'Too Risky', so Beca shut the conversation down in her typical sardonic style.

Beca suspected that sometimes when Chloe was being particularly audacious, it was only because she enjoyed how uncomfortable it made Beca feel, how Beca would get nervous and panic and say something embarrassing or inappropriate. Beca knew how it felt to want to unsay something. Chloe seemed like someone who had never experienced that. Example one - "I failed maps". Example two - "It's my lady jam". After that shower incident, but before she got to know Chloe better, Beca wondered about what kind of person would make a statement like that to a total stranger, while standing naked in front of them. It was impossible not to speculate on the message being sent by that bold move. Then she got to know Chloe, and it wasn't so weird, it made sense. Chloe had almost no filter, nothing embarrassed her and while Beca loved that about her friend, she was definitely not the right person to try to push that boundary.

 **o** **Oo** **Oo**

Chloe knew that when the time came, saying goodbye to Beca was going to be the hardest.

She was immediately attracted to Beca at the activities fair four years earlier, despite Aubrey's protestations about her alternative appearance and unsuitability for the traditions of being a Bella. Chloe took a big risk invading the other woman's shower and forcing her to sing, although in reality she hadn't thought that through at all. Chloe had been compelled to act when she heard Beca's singing voice filling the shower block, and she felt vindicated when Beca subsequently did turn up for the Bellas' auditions.

From the start they were clearly quite different personalities but Chloe never saw that as a deterrent to making new friends. Beca was so cautious and private initially while Chloe forced her over-sharing zeal onto everyone. It was only sometimes her intention to make Beca uncomfortable for her own amusement, and she knew she was just as likely to find herself on the receiving end of some of Beca's biting sarcasm. But gradually Beca had started to drop her guard with Chloe allowing their friendship to grow, despite their differences.

She thought that after four years of friendship she might have stopped taking pleasure in provoking her friend, but she couldn't help pushing it a bit too far from time to time. When she made the "experimenting" comment during their retreat, she was a little disappointed that didn't play out differently. Of course she hadn't expected Beca to agree, but she could have had so much more fun with the conversation that followed. Especially while they were confined to a overcrowded tent, with no way for Beca to escape. As a champion of making Beca uneasy, that was an opportunity missed from Chloe's point of view.

 **oOo**

Now as they said their goodbyes outside the Bella's house, faced with not seeing each other for a while, and probably not ever again with the same regularity, Chloe hadn't been able to resist poking that bear one last time.


	2. Wedding 1 - Part 1

Chloe's life after college had a slow start. She had finally graduated after seven years, but she was still not convinced about her next steps. Faced with a shortage of options, she took a job teaching music at a downtown youth centre. The director of the centre warned her that she'd be dealing with troubled teens who were struggling at school and at home. Most of them had been forced to join the program to avoid worse options. She was undeterred, she would work hard and stay positive and she really believed she might be able to inspire some of the kids to love music like she did. But she soon learned that her positive attitude couldn't overcome everything. The facilities were lacking, and she taught a very small number of very uninspired kids. Some of them were kind enough to tell her not to waste her time and energy on them.

Sometimes she felt a lonely in those first few months. Her college friends had either moved away or they couldn't find enough free time in their increasingly busy professional lives to meet with her. Most of the teachers at the school were a bit older and not interested in socializing after work. They seemed like a cynical group, who perhaps had regretted their career choice, so she didn't see any of them as potential friends.

She wasn't interested in joining another A Capella group outside college. She didn't want to be among the ranks of those lame, aging A Capella singers, turning up outside college competitions, desperate to perform but too old to compete. Plus no other group would ever do, not after the Barden Bellas.

She had tried to keep in touch with the Bellas and especially Beca. But the phone calls and messages between them were becoming more and more infrequent. Over time she started to find conversations with Beca difficult, when Beca was so excited about her blossoming career, while she was still feeling lost and stuck in a job going nowhere. She was genuinely happy for Beca and her success, but she knew that their paths and their lives were just going in different directions. At least, at that moment they were.

Six months into the job Chloe was feeling desperate. Something needed to change or she would have to quit. Something did change - the centre lost its funding for the music program. The director delivered the news to Chloe as an apology, and in compensation he offered to tee up a part time role for her through his contacts at the adult education centre nearby. She accepted; it would give her time to figure out what to do next. She started assisting and teaching classes in the creative arts department, but they were so short staffed that she could do almost whatever she put her hand up for. Paying adult proved to be a more rewarding student group to teach. Just like at the youth centre, her new colleagues seemed to be stuck in a rut professionally, but Chloe was inspired. She knew she couldn't stay there long term and allow the same to happen to her. She now knew what she was supposed to do next - go back to college.

 **oOo** **Oo**

Life in LA was good, according to Beca Mitchell. She was employed by Arrow Records, a reasonably well-known studio, where she got to learn from and work with some talented music producers. Her employers promised her a bright future in the music business, but she'd have to work hard for it. Long hours and weekend work were standard, but she felt lucky to have this opportunity and she wasn't going to waste it. She knew she was letting her career control her life, but for now that's what she had to do. Friendships and relationships were going to have to suffer for a while until she established herself in the industry. In reality they had already suffered in the short time she had been in LA.

She and Chloe sent messages and spoke on the phone regularly after graduation, but her busy work life had started taking over. The last time they spoke she had noticed that Chloe wasn't like her usual bubbly self. She had tried to reassure Chloe; reminding her that she was confident, smart, and good with people. Teaching was the perfect profession for her. But Chloe hadn't agreed. Beca didn't know how to talk to this unfamiliar Chloe - Chloe with a negative attitude.

One month without contact became two. Beca would sometimes see a missed call or message from Chloe but she never found the time, or never made the time, to return them. Her work was taking all her time and energy. She probably needed to take a break after almost a year of working solidly.

Beca was trudging through her building towards her apartment after another twelve hour day at work when she noticed the overflow from her mailbox. She often forgot to collect it for a few days when she was overworked. She collected a few bills, some junk mail and an oversized envelope with a hand written address. She threw the rest of the mail in her bag and turned this more interesting letter over. She instantly recognised the big blue B symbol on the back; the Barden Bellas. Inside the envelope was a wedding invitation.

Cynthia Rose had hand written "Beca Mitchell" but she had scribbled over the printed "plus one" on the invitation, and written "Jesse" inside a heart shape instead. Beca groaned. She would have to explain the end of her relationship with Jesse when she arrived at the wedding with someone else, or alone. And it was going to be a hassle to get to Maine from LA just for a weekend, but she didn't think twice about accepting. She was really excited to see all the Bellas again.

 **oOo**

Beca made the journey to Maine alone. Chloe was the first to noticed Jesse's absence, or at least the first to comment on it.

"Where's Jesse?" she asked while she was crushing Beca to her in a huge hug. The recent estrangement between them was apparently forgotten.

Beca wanted to get this part over quickly and not drag the party down with a breakup story.

"The relationship just came to an end," Beca said, "it worked in college but now things are different, we are older, we want different things." She hadn't talked to anyone about Jesse after they ended things. Now she was speaking too fast and prattling on. 'It ran its course, you know, but we are still friends. We work better as friends. We're cool. It's cool. Really."

It was true that they had agreed to be friends, but she had never called him again. She suspected that it had all been her doing; that she hadn't been able to make it work. She let someone in and then pushed him away. She told him, and herself, that her career had to take priority for now, but maybe that was that just a convenient escape from the commitment.

"Well these things happen," Chloe said, "Ok, let get some drinks ladies."

 **oOo**

After a short wedding ceremony, the former Bellas gravitated together at the reception. They all needed the downtime away from the stress and realities of their lives after college, and being a Bella's reunion was a bonus. They talked about how their lives had changed in the year since they had seen each other. Beca was reluctant to add to the conversation. What could she say? 'I worked, and I broke up with Jesse.'

Chloe, on the other hand, was eager to share the details of her plans to return to study. There it was - Chloe's old sparkle. It was capturing Beca's full attention while Chloe gushed about the graduate courses and new cities she was researching. Beca wanted to ask if any of the colleges out west were near the top of the list, but she kept quiet.

As the evening progressed, and the quantity of drinks increased, they reminisced about some of the events from their times together as Bellas; from initiation night to the amazing finale on stage in Copenhagen.

When Chloe was dispatched to the bar for the next round of drinks, Cynthia Rose confided, "You know, when Chloe made us go on that retreat at Aubrey's place in the woods before worlds, I thought were definitely finished, there was no way it would help us, I was sure we would only end up fighting even more."

"Yeah, I thought it was a terrible idea too, I expected someone was going to be murdered. Probably Chloe. Probably murdered by Beca. Beca, you were so testy that day," Amy said.

"I know," Beca replied. "I really regretted what I said to Chloe then, to all of you. And I never told Chloe that she was right. It was a good call bringing us there. I should have been more open to her ideas."

"Yeah, you should," Chloe said with a wink as she arrived back with a tray loaded with beers and shots.

 **oOo**

They danced and drank for a few more hours until the music stopped. It was only midnight, but they didn't have the same stamina as when they were at Barden. And since they all had to travel the next day, they all sensibly opted for sleep and avoiding a worse hangover.

They let the function room and crammed into the tiny elevator to get to their hotel rooms.

"Which floors ladies?" Amy asked.

There were shouts of "3", "6", "4" and "7".

Amy pressed all the required buttons. At each floor where the elevator stopped there were extended goodbyes for the departing Bellas, even though everyone was staying in town until late the next day. On the sixth floor Beca and Chloe both got out.

After the elevator doors closed, they walked together in silence down the 6th floor corridor. Beca stopped at her door. "Ok, this is me, 608."

Beca put her keycard in the door and paused before opening it. She turned to Chloe, who had also stopped and was now watching Beca.

"OK, so, 'night Chloe. See you tomorrow morning."

"Let me see your room I bet it's nicer than mine." Chloe was a little drunk, and a natural flirt. She gently pushed Beca through her own door and followed behind her.

"Come on in then, I guess," Beca said.

Chloe was already inside the room. She sat on the bed, leaned back on her elbows and looked around to appraise the room.

"I think my room is bigger but you've got a balcony. Nice.

"Ok, Becs, you find us something from the mini bar, I'm going to check out the balcony."

Beca wasn't sure what was happening but she silently complied. It was great to spend time in Chloe's company again. She chose two miniature bottles of vodka and poured them. She looked out to the balcony where Chloe was now leaning right over the railing and belting out 'Titanium'. Beca brought the drinks over but waited inside the balcony door, letting Chloe sing on a little longer. Chloe was a fun drunk. Beca enjoyed watching her being goofy, plus she would have a good story to tell the Bellas at lunch tomorrow. Beca could enjoy Chloe's humiliation for a change. Then again, sober Chloe probably wouldn't see anything embarrassing about her behaviour right now. She waited a few more moments before realising she had spent a little too long looking up and down her friend's body. She squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds then stepped out onto the balcony to get Chloe's attention with the drinks.

Chloe was leaning over the thin railing on the balcony. She had kicked off her shoes and only her toes were barely touching the ground. Beca was suddenly alarmed, it looked unsafe. She moved quickly to guide Chloe back to safety but they ended up in an awkward embrace, with Beca balancing the drinks that were still in her hands.

"Careful Chloe, I don't want to have to explain to the police how a woman in a pretty dress fell from my hotel balcony in the middle of the night."

Beca started to release her arms but Chloe remained standing very close to her. Beca took a step back and handed one of the drinks to Chloe. She broke their eye contact to look to the glass in her hand and take a sip from it. She looked back to Chloe. Chloe slowly took her glass to her lips and drank about half the measure, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on Beca's the whole time.

Beca had a pretty good idea what was happening now. Chloe stepped forward, further into Beca's space. She leaned in closer, and whispered something about a good time to deal with lingering regrets. Beca couldn't focus on her words, only on the feeling of Chloe's warm breath on her neck. Without thinking, her hands moved to Chloe's hips. Chloe let her lips trail a little along Beca's skin as she pulled away. She turned slowly and deliberately, and walked through the balcony door, back inside the room. As Beca stared after her, Chloe put the half empty glass of vodka on the bedside table. Still with her back to Beca she began to unzip her dress.

 _Oh screw it,_ Beca thought, and she followed after Chloe.

 **oOo**

Beca reasoned that she needed this; her bed had been such a lonely place since Jesse left. She was allowed to let her usual strong instincts for self preservation to lapse this one time. And Chloe had hook ups like this all the time in college. Chloe would know how to take the awkwardness out of the morning after, if there was any. To Beca's slightly alcohol addled brain, it was just a zipless fuck.

Afterwards, the sound of their laboured breathing filled the room. Beca stared at the ceiling, unsure how to restart a conversation with Chloe.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting my night to finish up like this," Chloe said, before the silence got too weird.

"Oh my God," Beca said, "You were throwing yourself at me all night. This is exactly where you planned to be." Joking about Chloe's libido allowed the easy conversation, even if it meant lying. Chloe had flirted with her all night, the same as she had since day one of their friendship. But until they were on the balcony earlier, Beca had never seen Chloe cross that line, past innocent teasing to such a wanton behaviour. Beca hadn't seen it coming, and she reacted in an uncharacteristically impulsive way. But now she was a little buzzed in her post coital haze and trying to ignore the niggling feeling of having made a mistake.

They laughed lightly, both still looking at the ceiling. Then they fell silent. Beca turned to lie on her side facing away from Chloe.

"I really gotta get some sleep now, 'night Chlo," she said, though it took her a while to stop thinking and fall asleep.

Chloe adjusted her position in the bed too and hummed back at her, clearly she was planning to stay until morning. The air between them didn't seem strained but it wasn't intimate either. It would have to wait until the morning to assess what this had done to their friendship.


	3. Wedding 1 - Part 2

Beca woke early. She usually did when she wasn't in her own bed. She hadn't had enough sleep and she only partially opened her eyes to allow them to slowly adjust to the daylight. She did a quick internal scan of her body and assessed that things didn't seem bad; she couldn't feel any signs of a hangover yet. Then she became aware of the contact with a body next to her. Then she remembered what happened. She opened her eyes fully and looked over to see Chloe sleeping, and their limbs loosely wrapped around each other. Her body tensed. She felt an urgent need to release herself from the other woman. She carefully and quietly untangled her body from Chloe's, and locked herself in the bathroom. This was a very awkward situation. She needed to think.

Thirty minutes later she was taking a long shower and hoping that the noise behind the closed door would rouse the naked woman in her bed. She would have to notice the other clues Beca had left; Chloe's dress at the foot of the bed and her shoes next to the door, the glasses of last night's unfinished vodka gone and the balcony door closed with the curtain drawn. The message should be clear; get your things and get out, Chloe.

Beca took her time drying her hair and putting her make up on. When she finally came out of the bathroom, she nervously looked over towards the bed. It was empty. She scanned the room. Chloe was gone but she had left a note on the bedside table.

'Beca, good morning! See you later at lunch, Chloe'

 **oOo**

Beca was hiding in her room. She wasn't ready to see Chloe; she didn't know what to say to her. She wanted to send a message to Amy or Stacie to invite them to hang out, except of course they would find it odd if Beca didn't include Chloe. She turned on the television and lay down on the bed where she noticed that Chloe's scent had stubbornly clung to the sheets. It was distracting so she got up. She turned on her laptop but she couldn't focus on working. She put some music on but still she couldn't relax, she kept changing her mind about what to play. Eventually she dozed for an hour or two in an armchair.

It was five minutes before the Bellas were meeting for lunch when Beca finally had to leave the safety of her room. Walking down the corridor, she paused when she passed Chloe's room. They were staying on the same floor; it made sense to go to the lobby together. It would seem too weird and suspicious to the others if they didn't.

She knocked on the door, and before she got any reply she called out "Chloe, Are you ready to go? I'll go call the elevator, meet me there in 30 seconds. Come on, we don't want to be late". She blurted it all out in one breath and took off at pace. She could hear Chloe's door start to open but Beca didn't turn or miss a step.

Chloe caught up to her at the elevator. She smiled but neither of them said anything. Beca fixed her eyes on the LED floor display as it descended from 9 to 8 to 7 to 6. The door opened and she was initially relieved to see several other passengers. They squeezed into the small space and were forced to stand too close to each other, so Beca took a sudden and intense interest in her shoes.

When they got out in the lobby, Beca started breathing again. They just had to get through a few more uncomfortable hours.

They walked together in silence to the restaurant. A few of the other girls were running late which meant there were still several empty seats around the table. They wouldn't have to sit together.

"So did you single girls hook up with anyone last night?" Like Chloe, Amy often didn't have much of a filter.

"Not me," Chloe said. She sat down, turned to Cynthia Rose and started a fresh conversation with her. Beca wouldn't dare to look at Chloe now. She'd said that so casually and so convincingly, but Beca had no right to feel hurt. She had rejected Chloe just the same that morning.

"Come on BM, what about you? Now that you have broken up with Jesse I just want to make sure my best friend is getting laid."

"Thanks Amy. I do alright." Beca's raised voice grabbed everyone's attention. This conversation was crass, that's why she sounded tetchy, nothing else. But she couldn't resist searching for Chloe's reaction and there was none really. Chloe looked relaxed, indifferent. Beca picked up the menu on the table and hid her burning face behind it.

"So you are saying that nothing, nothing at all happened last night?" Amy continued, "I would have thought a single girl, on a weekend away, with lots of hot strangers around..."

"No Amy. Nothing to report. Now can you drop it," Beca said, without moving the menu.

"Guys, look, I really would like to stay, but I think that I if I leave now I can make the earlier flight. There are a few course applications due this week that I need to work on so I really should get back."

Everybody turned now to look at Chloe. Beca lowered the menu.

"Don't be ridiculous, Chloe. You can't leave; we all haven't seen each other for so long. It's only a few more hours." Amy said.

Beca joined the others in pleading with Chloe to stay, but she had nothing genuine to say. Her choice of words was weak. "Do you really have to go?"

Chloe was ignoring the other voices as she turned to Beca, who was trying hard to make her facial expression match the words she had just spoken.

"I think I do, Beca," Chloe said. She got to her feet and turned to the rest of the group.

"Don't make this harder for me guys," she said. She made her goodbyes, insisting nobody needed to accompany her back to the hotel where she would catch a taxi to the airport right away.

Everybody got a similar farewell; she embraced each of her friends saying how great it had been to see them, and that they would have to do it again soon. Everybody except Beca.

"Bye Beca, take care of yourself." Chloe hugged her former co-captain gingerly and then she left.

Beca didn't particularly enjoy the next two hours. She loved spending time with these girls, and it was certainly easier now that Chloe was gone, but she couldn't focus. She needed to get away and try to process what she was thinking and feeling. And what she was going to do about it.

 **oOo**

After lunch they began to go their separate ways. Beca still needed to check out of the hotel since she hadn't dared leave her room earlier in the day. In the lobby she spotted Stacie, also heading towards the reception desk.

"Hi. Checking out," Beca said to the receptionist.

"Certainly Miss. Room number?"

"608."

The receptionist tapped on her computer for a moment. Beca smiled at Stacie as she reached the desk.

"Ok, Miss Mitchell, I am just preparing your bill for printing. Did you have anything from the mini-bar?"

"Sorry, what?" Beca said. Stacie was now standing beside her at the reception desk.

"Did you have any drinks or snacks from the bar fridge in the room?" the receptionist asked again.

Beca leaned closer to the desk with one hand to the side of her mouth. Admitting to her shameful night. "Eh yes, two of those small bottles of vodka."

"Ok, just give me a moment to update your account and print your bill."

Beca looked over to Stacie who was now propped on one elbow on the reception desk. She said nothing; she just smirked and raised an eyebrow at Beca.

"I arrived a bit early yesterday and thought I'd have a quick drink before the ceremony," Beca said.

"Relax Beca, you don't have to explain anything to me," Stacie replied. Beca wished she was better at lying under pressure.

The receptionist arrived back with Beca's bill. She handed over her credit card and avoided responding to Stacie.

"Are you checking out too, Miss?" the receptionist asked Stacie when she had finalised Beca's transaction.

"Yes, room 609." Stacie turned to watch Beca's response to this new information. The smirk hadn't left her face.

Panic spread through Beca as she considered what Stacie could be intimating, while the receptionist tapped on her computer again.

"Ok, Miss Conrad, and did you have anything from the bar?"

"No, I only used the room for sleeping, alone." She replied and winked at the receptionist, who stifled a laugh as she went to collect Stacie's bill from the printer. Beca ignored her and tried to remember the details of last night, what could Stacie have seen or heard?

"Hang on Stacie. What time did you get back to your room last? You weren't in the elevator with us? Was the hunter at work?"

"No, there was space so I waited for the next one. I was five minutes behind you.

"Hey look, you outplayed me, I struck out last night. I had no time to release the hunter; I was with all of you guys all night."

"What? I didn't ... I was with you guys all night too. Jesus Stacie, I didn't take a random stranger to my room last night."

"If you say so Beca."

 **oOo** **Oo**

It was five days after returning to Atlanta when Chloe got a call from a former Bella but it wasn't Beca.

"Hello, this is Chloe."

"So Chloe what's going on with you? You bolted out of there on Sunday like you were on fire."

"Amy. Hey. I'm fine. Really. How are you?"

Amy didn't reply, she just cleared her throat deliberately, and so Chloe continued "You know things changed a lot after college and it took me a while to adjust. And then seeing you all again reminded me how much I had missed you guys, and the times we had together. I was just a little emotional. Plus I am feeling a little anxious about the future and about moving to New York. I don't know for sure if this is the best thing for me right now."

"Yeah, I guess it can be tough out in the real world, especially for a ginger."

"Thanks Amy, that's a real comfort."

"So you've decided on a course in New York?"

"Yeah there are a few options there. I haven't been accepted anywhere yet, but I just have to get out of Atlanta right now. And New York is where I want to live. I think."

"Come on Chloe. You'll do great. You know that."

"You're right, I'll be fine. Thanks for calling Amy, that was really thoughtful."

"Yeah, whatever. So that's it, nothing else bothering you?"

"No, nothing else."

 **oOo** **Oo**

Beca waited for over a week before contacting Chloe. She thought she could mentally prepare for whatever that conversation turned out to be but she never stopped feeling as nervous and uncomfortable as she did that morning when she woke up next to Chloe.

It took that long to come up with what she thought was a cowardly yet brilliant idea - text message instead of phone call. And if she sent it during work hours, neither of them could really talk properly.

Beca M [9.56] : Hey Chloe. How are you?

Beca M [9.57] : Should we talk about what happened at CR's wedding?

The messaging app on her phone told her that her message had been seen and that 'Chloe Beale is typing . . .'

She stared at the screen. A few seconds later, the information changed to 'Chloe Beale is online'. Not typing. She watched for it to change. Two minutes passed with no updates to Chloe's status. She checked her phone again and again but no message arrived. All she knew was that 'Chloe Beale is online'.

It had been ten minutes since Chloe had typed something when Beca noticed a colleague, one of her boss's lackeys, powering towards her desk.

"Beca, are you coming to this meeting?"

"Sorry, yes, coming right now," she replied. She was going to be late for the daily morning meeting for the first time ever.

When she returned after the meeting she grabbed her phone to see that she had one new message.

Chloe B : 10.28 : Did you want to talk about it?

Beca was confused by the three question marks. Surely Chloe wants to talk. She always wants to 'talk about it'.

Beca M [11.04] : Don't you?

'Chloe Beale is typing . . .'

Chloe B [11:08] : We had a fun night together and it felt a bit weird the next morning. It happens. It doesn't have to mean anything or change anything. It just was what it was.

Beca M [11:12] : Ok. Agreed. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.

Beca waited a few moments after sending the message. The message had been seen but Chloe Beale was not typing. She put her phone away and got back to work.

When she collected her phone at the end of the day Chloe had sent another message.

Chloe B [12:15] : I really did have a lot of fun with you though. xx

Beca couldn't read Chloe's tone in those messages; she seemed dismissive at first then there was that last flirty one. _She's so weird_. Maybe a little time would change things, she decided, they both just needed a bit of time to get the weird out of the situation.

 **oOo** **Oo**

At 9.58 that morning Chloe had started typing "Hi Beca, I'm really happy you got in touch. Yes, I think that's probably a good idea. I can call you later, after work, is that OK?"

She hesitated before pressing send. She put her phone down but looked back at it, at those words, over and over again. She wasn't getting any work done. Eventually she deleted the message and started typing again.


	4. Wedding 2 - Part 1

In the weeks after the 'I did have fun with you' message from Chloe, Beca stalled for time again and again. She kept persuading herself she needed a little more time, when work wasn't so busy, when she had time to think, and then she would definitely call Chloe. And it wouldn't be weird. And they would definitely work things out properly. When she did have time to think, she spent it dwelling on the minute details of every single thing both she and Chloe has said and done at Cynthia Rose's wedding.

The arrival of Amy's wedding invitation a few months later made her think of Chloe first. She was almost certain to be there too, and things were definitely going to be weird between them.

Beca got out her phone and looked at all the old messages from Chloe, none of which she had ever deleted. Not for the first time in the past six months she reread their last conversation and that last message from Chloe. She couldn't believe that they hadn't spoken to each other for so long. She never imagined this would happen to them, that they would drift apart so quickly.

What she felt most was regret when she thought of Chloe these days. She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed anymore about what happened the night of Cynthia Rose's wedding. She had even forgiven herself for how she acted the next day; she just couldn't control how she had been paralysed by the urge to flee. What she really beat herself up about nowadays was how she failed to act since then. Since Chloe had not made any effort to get in touch again either, she had taken Chloe's lack of contact as validation for hers.

So instead of being awkward, she planned to confront Chloe at Amy's wedding, and she preparing everything she needed to say.

"Chloe, listen, I know I panicked that morning and it made things really difficult. We haven't talked for so long and I think that's my fault. I didn't know how to start again after what happened. But you were right, it's just something that happens, it doesn't have to be a big deal. We can't forget it or pretend it didn't happen and so it might change things between us a little bit, but I know now I don't want it to end our friendship."

It sounded perfect when she explained it to the mirror.

 **oOo**

Beca arrived at the wedding venue early and the only familiar face she could find was Stacie, who was standing by the bar. She went over to her friend, they greeted each other warmly, ordered some drinks and went to find their table.

"Who else is coming from the Bellas, do you know?" Stacie asked.

"No idea, we should find Amy and ask her."

"What about Chloe, will she be here?"

"Eh, don't know actually." Beca paused then added "I hope she will."

"You don't know!" Stacie repeated back to her, her voice raised with obvious surprise.

"Well, we just haven't talked for a little while. You know, everything gets pretty busy and Chloe was moving to New York and going back to school."

Beca had only found out about New York through Amy. Chloe never contacted her to tell her. When she heard the news of Chloe's move, it made her want to check the exact distance between LA and New York. She was curious enough to look up the information - between 2448 and 2789 miles depending on the mode of transport, as well as the flight time between the two cities - around 5 hours.

"What? Are you kidding me?" Stacie's tone hadn't changed. It almost sounded like an accusation. Beca just shrugged.

"You guys are Ok though? You haven't had a falling out or anything?" Stacie continued.

"No, No, of course not. Just both really busy. That's why I'm hoping she is here today. I'm dying to catch up with her again." Beca replied.

Cynthia Rose and Lilly arrived and joined them at the table causing the conversation topic to change, to Beca's relief.

Beca was distracted; she was rehearsing her speech in her head and she was anxious about how Chloe might have prepared for seeing her. She glanced towards the main door every minute or two.

"Oh, there's Chloe!" Stacie shrieked as Chloe arrived at the door at the other side of the room. She was too far away for them to catch her eye so all four of them just watched as Chloe scanned the room. Something changed in Beca as she looked at Chloe; the anxiety in her stomach was replaced with something else. Not only was Chloe stunning, but she walked with even more confidence and presence that Beca could recall having seen in her friend before. Beca never anticipated having to deal with this feeling today, this desire that she felt as she looked at Chloe.

"Close your mouth, Beca. You're staring."

Beca felt Stacie's hand under her chin, gently pushing it up to close her gaping mouth. Beca flinched at the touch, and hoped she wasn't blushing too much.

"Chloe's date is pretty easy on the eye, right?" Stacie commented with a wink.

Beca hadn't even noticed that anyone was with Chloe. She looked at the man standing to Chloe's left, and saw that their arms were linked. Stacie was right; he was a handsome guy, and they looked comfortable together.

A smile formed on Chloe's face when her eyes connected with her old friends. She began walking towards them and Beca stood in her path as she approached. She was the first to greet Chloe with a warm hug, and she attempted to guide Chloe towards the seat next to her. Chloe greeted her in a friendly but curt manner and quickly introduced her companion as Ben. He took the seat next to Beca as Chloe chatted with Stacie, Cynthia Rose and Lilly.

From the few flecks of grey through his cropped dark hair and the tiny crinkles around his eyes, Beca guessed than Ben must have close to ten years on Chloe. His look was very different to the baby faced jocks that Beca had watched Chloe hook up with in college. He wasn't particularly tall; with Chloe in heels he stood only a centimetre or two higher than her, but his features were striking; a strong angular jaw line, olive skin and brown eyes.

"Hi. Good to meet you. Uh, sorry, was it Beca or Becky?" he asked.

"It's Beca. Yeah, nice to meet you too, Ben," she replied without much warmth.

"So you and Chloe were in college together, in the A Capella group?"

"Chloe and I were co-captains of the group for three years." She replied, and instantly regretted it, hearing the bitchiness and jealousy in her voice. She must have sounded like such a dick. She tried to recover the situation. "I mean, yes that's how we all know each other. We were all Barden Bellas." She almost sang the last two words, overcompensating for her earlier rudeness. She still sounded like a dick, but he didn't seem to notice and he asked her tell him more about their time as Bellas.

They continued chatting while Beca gathered his surface information; Ben was a former teacher now working for an NGO that sets up education programmes overseas.

"I'm mostly the volunteer co-ordinator. We have so many overseas opportunities for good teachers at the moment, but it's hard to persuade people to take the leap."

Beca noticed him pausing to glance at Chloe for a moment, before he continued.

"It's a lot of administration work, which isn't what I want to do; I'm trying to get into the programme development area of the business."

He was giving a lot of detail, but it only demonstrated his passion for it. Beca bemoaned that of course he would be smart, his work important and and his life interesting. She was struggling to dislike him. He didn't offer any information about when or how he met Chloe, and Beca was reluctant to ask. Additionally, Beca couldn't help getting more distracted as the time went on. She kept looking around to see where Chloe was and when she might return and interrupt them, but Chloe has remained fully engaged in a conversation with Cynthia Rose the whole time. It finally dawned on Beca that Chloe was avoiding her, and that Ben might be sitting with her right now as the designated diversion.

Amy finally showed up to welcome them.

"I'm so glad you guys all came. This is going be a fun night."

Amy explained that after a short service, there would be no speeches, nor any other typical boring wedding rituals, just partying.

 **oOo**

Once the music started after the service, all the former Bellas were up from their seats and heading to the dance floor. Beca watched Chloe sticking close to Ben. Beca needed to talk to her, and she wanted to dance with her, to be near her. She had to talk to her soon, before she drank too much.

Beca manoeuvred herself closer and leaned in to speak to Chloe "I'm going to sit down and take a break for a minute. Do you want to join me?" She paused for a second and seeing an empty expression on Chloe's face, she then added "Can we talk?"

Chloe nodded and allowed Beca to lead them both back to their now empty table.

"Ok," Beca started after they had sat down, "I had this whole speech prepared to explain to you why I got weird, why I never called or messaged you back after, you know, after what happened in Maine."

"It's Ok Beca, I think I know."

"No, it's not Ok Chloe. I really panicked; I didn't even say a single word to you the next day." She took a breath and reminded herself not to babble. "But later, and it took me a while, I really wanted to fix things, but I never did. I never picked up the phone. I didn't know how to start again after that. I mean it was a really bad idea right? And we have to deal with that but I don't want it to be the end of our friendship."

"Neither do I," Chloe smiled and gently took Beca's hand. Beca felt herself melting a little under the warmth of her friend's touch. Chloe continued, "But you know Beca, we both made a mistake. I blamed myself too. You were so embarrassed that next day and I can't stand that I did that to you. And when I didn't hear from you for a while, I had to try to move on. I had to respect your decision and leave you alone, and realise that I'd fucked up, I'd taken advantage when you were vulnerable after breaking up with Jesse."

"But that's not what it was. Honestly. The way I reacted must have made you feel horrible. I'm so sorry Chloe."

Chloe said nothing for a moment; she just looked at her friend.

"I missed you Beca, I miss talking to you."

"Me too, Chloe."

That was enough deep and meaningful for Beca. It was enough to let her hope that perhaps they still had a chance at friendship. After a few seconds silently looking at each other, Beca turned her head to look around the room, unable to hold Chloe's gaze any longer.

"Well let's agree not to fuck up our friendship anymore and let's also get quite drunk tonight," Chloe said. She stood and gestured towards the bar.

"Excellent idea," Beca agreed.

At the bar they quickly downed a few shots then took a few beers back to the table. They talked, catching up on all they had missed in the months of silence between them. Beca was feeling much more at ease around Chloe now, and they were back to their old familiar way of interacting. She expected that the unexpected attraction that she had been feeling was just confusion for damaging and missing such a valued friendship. In any case Chloe was here with Ben. She was just happy to see Chloe happy.

They had already had a few drinks and were progressing well with the plan to get quite drunk. Once their glasses were empty again Beca volunteered to get the next one. As she stood up to head for the bar she was feeling a little giddy from the booze and from their cosy conversation.

"Ben seems like a good guy, and pretty hot too, so I guess you can be trusted not to try any 'experimenting' tonight." she quipped as she was leaving. It was supposed to be a witty comment, but once it was out of her mouth she heard how it sounded - cruder than she intended, and of course, totally awkward. She left quickly not allowing Chloe time to see her discomfort or to reply.

When Beca returned to the table carrying two large vodkas, Ben and Stacie were now back from the dance floor chatting with Chloe.

"Still working on getting that drinking problem under control there Beca?" Stacie asked with a grin.

"What? No, no problem, one for me, one for Chloe." Beca replied, beginning to fret.

"Ok, sure." Stacie teased. She turned to Chloe and continued "She'll be emptying the mini bar in her room later tonight."

"What's this about?" Chloe asked, looking from one woman to the other. Stacie grinned while Beca froze.

"Our Beca here is a secret drinker. I busted her at Cynthia Rose's wedding last year."

"Oh shut up Stacie." Beca pleaded.

"Did you, or did you not, have more than one drink alone in your hotel room that evening?" Stacie was really enjoying this. "A couple of vodkas, I think it was?"

Beca looks over at Chloe who looked like she was about to cry with laughter.

"Don't worry. I've done that too Beca. We all have." Chloe managed to get out between bouts of laughter. "Do you want to sit down and give me one of those now?"

Beca only then realised she had remained standing, clutching onto the drinks in her hands during that conversation, like a deer caught in headlights. She sat down, handed Chloe one of the drinks and let Chloe steer the conversation away from the current topic.

 **oOo**

Later in the evening, they were all back out on the dance floor and Beca was again taken aback to notice how she was feeling around Chloe. The attraction was certainly still there, and she felt it more strongly as she danced with her. She was aware that she was watching Chloe closely, she was staring at her, and she wanted to touch her. It didn't help that Chloe is pretty handsy and hard to ignore when she dances. Beca had to contain this confusing desire, she had to get off the dance floor. She casually gestured to the others that she was going to get another drink. Stacie gave her an exaggerated look of concern, then broke into a smile. Beca played along with the joke.

"Water, Stacie, I'm getting some water, Ok?"

Beca caught the barman's attention. "Just a water thanks." She was determined to rationalise these feelings right now, and enjoy the rest of the evening. _A lot is going on at the moment; I've reconnected with Chloe after months of uncertainty, it's emotionally confusing or overwhelming or something; and I need time to process that. Plus I've had a few drinks. I'll feel different by tomorrow morning._

"Make that two!" she heard Chloe's voice say a moment later.

Chloe slid in beside her standing at the bar. She playfully bumped her hip with Beca's, and then rested her head on Beca's shoulder. "I'm so happy you are here Beca."

Beca dropped her head to the side to touch Chloe's. She put one arm around her friend's waist and squeezed her a little closer to her own body. "It's really good to see you too Chloe."

They stood together silently in that position for a few seconds until the barman returned with the drinks. Chloe then abruptly stood up straight, grabbed one of the glasses, took a big gulp of water and turned to face Beca. "By the way, Ben is my friend, we used to work together. Not my boyfriend. So yeah, I am single and any offers for experimenting are still very much on the table tonight." She gave Beca a cheeky smile and walked off.

Beca was unable to move for a few moments, how was she going to rationalise this new development? Before she could even try, she heard Amy's voice over a microphone, thanking all the guests for coming and then Amy was banging on about her amazing friends from her Barden Bellas days.

"So I thought since we are all here, why not get the group back together for a little impromptu performance. What do you say ladies?"

Amy's suggestion was greeted with enthusiastic cheers from lots of the other guests and from everybody at the Bellas' table. Everyone was excited about the idea except Beca.

"Are we really going to do this?" Beca enquired on returning to the table. She knew she had no hope of dissuading them and also that her sarcasm wouldn't be appreciated at that moment. So she changed her attitude and initiated a discussion on song choices. The others allowed the conversation to be led by Chloe and Beca, just like a Bellas' rehearsals from college days.

The setting at a wedding made their performance seem a little cheesy and it was far from polished, but it was fantastic for all of them to have this opportunity to sing together again. They were feeling so euphoric after the performance, so Ben politely excused himself and left them all to enjoy each others' company.

Beca thoroughly enjoyed it too. She expected to. But her reasons for not wanting to do it in the first place had resulted in the outcome she had feared. Now that Ben wasn't a factor holding her back, and after spending the past few hours talking, singing and dancing together, Beca could no longer deny that she wanted Chloe.

 **oOo**

Thirty minutes later they were all coming down from the high of their performance and preparing to call it a night. As they were leaving to their rooms or nearby hotels, Beca's heart was racing as she was feeling an urgency to stop Chloe from walking away from her. She swiftly walked after Chloe, and then slowed her pace to stay just behind her.

"Chloe, Tell me your room number. I'll be there in 15 minutes." She demanded when she knew they were out of earshot of the others.

Chloe turned to look at Beca. She raised her eyebrows, then smiled, and didn't hesitate to whisper the room number in Beca's ear. She walked off quickly and avoided looking at Beca again.

Exactly fifteen minutes had passed when Chloe heard the gentle knock on her door. Chloe opened it quickly. Beca stood there, her body was still and her breath even. She was now wearing jeans and a shirt, and her hair spilled messily over her shoulders. Her eyes wandered up and down Chloe's form.

"Listen Beca, before anything happens here, I think we should ..."

Before Chloe finished her sentence, Beca had pushed her into the room, and closed the door with her trailing foot. She pinned Chloe against the nearest wall and kissed her, hard and urgently, releasing some of the pent-up longing she had been experiencing since Chloe's arrival had stunned her hours earlier.

"I've wanted to do that all day," Beca said, breathing hard and placing her forehead against Chloe's.

Chloe grabbed the front of Beca's shirt and pulled her back in. They kissed again but a moment later Chloe broke away.

"Wait, Beca. Are you sure? This didn't work out so well last time. I don't want to feel ..."

"Stop Chloe," Beca cut her off, "I want this. This feels different. This is different. I promise you I won't regret this."

Chloe smiled broadly and narrowed her eyes. "No, you won't regret this."


	5. Wedding 2 - Part 2

Beca woke early as usual. She rolled onto her side propping herself up on one elbow and just looked at Chloe lying next to her. She watched Chloe sleeping for a few moments and then gently stroked her face to wake her. She wanted to be with her. At least, she did right now. She felt no regrets about the night before and she hoped Chloe would feel the same. It had been so different this time. Beca had been unusually uninhibited, and it had been surprisingly easy this time to suppress her fears about being this kind of vulnerable around Chloe.

As Chloe became alert, any doubts that Beca had quickly disappeared when Chloe flashed a big smile at her - of course Chloe felt the same.

"Oh, you're still here! Don't you want to go hide in the bathroom until I leave?" Chloe joked.

Beca started tracing her fingers gently along Chloe's collar bone. She couldn't help herself. "Well this is your room. I wanted to run back to mine hours ago, but you seem to have hidden all my clothes."

"Ha! Ok let's see if we can find something for you to wear for your walk of shame back to your room."

Chloe stirred from the bed allowing Beca's hand to drop away from her. She pulled a tank top and a pair of shorts on and quickly located Beca's shirt and jeans which she threw at the woman still in the bed. Beca found the rest of her clothes and was soon dressed. She was putting her shoes on when Chloe quietly said "Just before you go, I think we should talk about, this." Beca nodded but said nothing, and waited for Chloe to continue.

"I think you know that this is something that I've wanted to try forever, and then it was such a disaster between us last time. But let's forget that, because last night was good, really good, and I'm glad it was with a friend, with you. And I really hope we can continue being friends from now, right?"

"I feel exactly the same about it, Chloe, but can we keep this a secret? The rest of the Bellas don't need to know. Well I mean it's nobody's business, it not that I'm..., I don't regret anything, but it's ..."

"It's ok Beca. Relax. I think that makes sense too."

Beca started heading towards the door to leave and realised she didn't know how they should say goodbye. Should they kiss, hug or avoid contact completely? She looked to Chloe for a sign but saw the same uncertainly on her face, so Beca made the decision. She pulled Chloe in for a hug, keeping her hands resting in one fixed position on Chloe's mid back. It felt right, initially, but they hugged in silence and neither was releasing their hold on the other. The tension, and their embrace, was broken when Beca's phone beeped.

"That'll be work I expect," Beca commented, welcoming the opportunity to start a relatively mundane conversation, "There is some exciting new project starting soon that they want me to work on and they are calling me all the time to persuade me to get me on board. I will sign up, but I'm making them work for it," she babbled.

"Wow, that's exciting Beca, I really pleased for you."

"They've promised me it could be a really big step in my career if it all goes well."

"Great, so when you are super successful and famous, I can call the paparazzi and sell the story of my 'lesbian romp with Beca Mitchell'"

Beca laughed. "And then I'll counter that with a leak to the media that 'Beca Mitchell's alleged lover revealed to be a deranged stalker'"

They traded a few more blows, inventing ridiculous paparazzi headlines between fits of laughter.

"Tattoo artist confirms Beca Mitchell's lower back stamped with initials CB"

"Celebrity stalker Chloe Beale finally behind bars"

"Beca Mitchell spotted visiting jail where 'stalker' Chloe Beale held"

Eventually Beca brought their time to an end, "Ok, I better go, I'll see you at lunch."

The atmosphere between them had changed in those few minutes and so Chloe kissed Beca on the cheek as she left, echoing the words "I'll see you at lunch."

 **oOo**

Beca really hoped that they could remain friends, without this latest episode changing things too much. She was still searching for an explanation for her strong feelings towards Chloe yesterday, but she was certain they would pass once she was back to her regular routine in LA. She did concede that she was very content in Chloe's bed that morning and would not have resisted any advances, had Chloe made any to her. However she knew it was the right choice to leave, so things wouldn't have the potential to get weirder. In any case, she reasoned, regardless of any possibility of having stronger feelings for Chloe, being together wasn't something that could or would realistically ever happen between them. For one thing, they live on opposites sides of the country, and for another, it's Chloe! Her life would be easier without it even being a option.

 **oOo**

A few hours later Beca arrived early at the restaurant for lunch, to find Amy waiting alone a table, with a beer in her hand and huge sunglasses covering not just her eyes, but half her face.

"So, did you have a good night Mrs Allen?" Beca stressed her new title.

"Don't call me that ever again." Amy replied. Beca wasn't sure how serious to take the threat, but she decided not to risk using the title again. A moment later Amy continued brightly. "But yes, considering it was my wedding night, of course I had a pretty awesome night. Did you have a good time? It was fun, right? Our little Bellas performance was the tits. I'm so glad I made you guys do that."

Amy appeared to be in some sort of post wedding high now. She was talking incessantly, about her and Bumper, their future, about the wedding and about the Bellas. Beca let Amy carry on without interrupting; she enjoyed seeing her friend's happiness spill out like this, plus it meant the details of her own night weren't going to be under Amy's scrutiny this time.

Amy had certainly been too deep in her wedding bliss to have noticed how Beca had been acting around Chloe last night. Beca assumed that one else would have though anything of it either, if they even noticed, and certainly not that it could have led to what it did. Nobody could possibly have even suspected that she had gone to Chloe's room, despite how they were flirting with each other. It just wasn't unusual for them to act that way with each other, especially Chloe. Although, the way Beca had caught herself staring longingly at Chloe was new.

"I'm not sure how many of the girls can make it to lunch today. Is Chloe going to join us?" Amy finally invited Beca into the conversation.

"Eh, I don't know. I assume so." The question put Beca in a flap, and it drew out the panicked lie.

 _Why would Amy assume I know Chloe's plans? What if Chloe turns up and says something that means I must have known she was going to be here? What if Chloe just blurts out to everybody that we slept together last night?_

Fortunately Amy interrupted her mental disasterising. "She's really doing so much better now, don't you think?"

"What do you mean 'she's doing better', better than when?" Beca said, genuinely surprised by Amy's comment.

"Oh come on, last year at Cynthia Rose's wedding she was a complete mess; no idea what she was doing with her life, unsure of herself, nothing like the Chloe we knew from college days."

Beca still doubted it was true, Amy must have misread her. "Really? She seemed to be in high spirits to me, and really positive about her new career."

"You didn't believe all that horseshit about how excited she was to be going back to school and moving to another city? Don't you remember how anxious she was the next day, she couldn't sit still and then she just took off unexpectedly. She was worried that going back to college was a just step backwards because she still didn't know what else to do. Then a few days later she was absolutely certain that New York was the place for her. Complete mess."

"How do you know all this Amy?"

"She told me herself - I called her a few days after the wedding and she explained everything that had been going on."

 _Probably not everything_ Beca thought.

"She just needed someone to listen I think. Didn't you talk to her about it? I kind of assumed you did."

"Not really, no." Beca admitted. "Well actually, we talked a few months before that and she seemed to be having a tough time then, but by the time I saw her again at Cynthia Rose's wedding I thought she was over the worst. I really thought she was doing great then." Beca was reminded of the regret she felt about abandoning her friend when she needed her, and how she had misjudged her response after what happened at that wedding. She had thought time apart would help, when Chloe probably really needed her to be there for her. It also made her think about why Chloe had seduced her. She had thought it was Chloe being her usual uninhibited self, with her openness to almost anything, but perhaps it was something else. Perhaps Chloe had been reckless and desperate in response to her self doubt.

"Anyway it all worked out well for her in the end. She seems really happy now, and why wouldn't she be when she's with that guy Ben? I certainly wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers."

"Amy, remember how you got married yesterday! What would your husband say?"

Beca chose not to correct Amy regarding the nature of Chloe and Ben's relationship. It was too convenient for Beca to let everyone think they were together.

"It's ok to look at the goods Beca. Besides Bumper isn't here, he's got a hangover that could outlast the marriage; I won't see him for hours. Also, I think he would want me to take in the local sights without him."

They were still laughing when Stacie and Chloe showed up together. "What are we laughing at? Who's done something drunk and embarrassing?" Stacie asked.

"We were just wondering how good a night Chloe had last night." Amy replied. "You look pretty tired there Chloe. Did you and Ben get any sleep at all last night?"

"I'm a little tired, yes. It was an eventful night." She winked at Beca who discreetly smiled back at her.

Stacie sighed loudly. "What is it about weddings that everybody else has so much more sex than me?"

 **oOo**

As they were all saying their final goodbyes later, Beca desperately wanted a few more moments alone with Chloe. She wanted to ask her about what Amy said. She wanted to tell her that she won't let her down again and to remind her that she's still sticking to their agreement not to let anything fuck up their friendship. But she couldn't say any of it because either one of their Bella friends or Ben was always there too. So instead she gave Chloe another friendly hug with a promise to call her the following week.

 **oOo** **Oo**

"Thanks for coming with me. I hope you had a good time?" Chloe asked with a smile when she and Ben were in the back of the cab on the way to the airport.

Ben ignored the question and he didn't return the smile.

"Chloe, why did you ask me to come with you, really? You said that you weren't particularly close with your college A Capella friends any more, but that's not how it looked to me."

"I know, I'm sorry if I it seemed like I was ignoring you last night. I didn't think it would be such an amazing time, and that we would all reconnect so easily. I really did think I might need a friend, someone outside the Bellas. I hope you didn't have a horrible time."

His serious face collapsed, replaced with a cheeky grin. "Are you kidding? I had the best time. It was a great party and I learned a lot about you this weekend Chloe Beale. For one thing I never realised you were into women."

"Wait. What?"

"Come on Chloe. You also told me about a 'difficult situation' with one of your old friends - well that was Beca right? Did you guys really fall out or was it something else?"

She hesitated for a moment.

"How did you know?"

"It was obvious that there was more to it that what you had told me before and it was so easy to figure out that there was some tension between you and Beca. You introduce me to her and then you disappear? You were totally ignoring her while she was desperately trying to get your attention. Later in the night you two were inseparable. The attraction between you two was so obvious; I mean the way you look at each other? So come tell me everything."

She explained to him about the long standing experimenting item on her bucket list, and how she finally achieved it with Beca, on their second attempt. "And with a good friend that I can trust seemed so much better." she concluded.

"What about the next time you see her? What happens then?"

"Well, who knows when that will be? This will probably be some distant memory by then."

"Right. Ok. I just can't imagine having sex with a friend just for shits and giggles. That would be like you and I ..."

"Gross. That's different."

"How is it different Chloe? Please explain." he teased her.

"It was a perfect opportunity really, because we are good friends who both wanted to, experiment. Now that we live so far apart that we are probably not going to be in each others' lives so much. Not in person anyway. I think it will be something we will look back on; when we laugh about the things we did in our youth."

"Interesting. So you don't regret it but you already want it to be this crazy thing you did in your past."

"In a way, yes. Like I said, I was curious. The opportunity came a little later than I wanted but now it's done. Tick the box and move on. I am back to being a proper responsible adult now and sleeping with men, or women, who are not my friends."

Ben looked out the window, and stroked his chin in an exaggerated show of being deep in though. After a minute he spoke again in a tone deeper than his natural voice.

"How much easier would Chloe Beale's life be if what she had just said was all true? And how lucky is she to have a friend like Ben Graham, who could see through her bullshit?"

"Shut up, Ben." Chloe said turning to look out the opposite window. Her hand had moved up to her décolletage, to the spot when Beca's touch had aroused her that morning.


	6. Wedding 2 - Part 3

Beca and Chloe's friendship was back on track. They exchanged messages almost daily and spoke on the phone from time to time, keeping up to date on each other's lives, including all the mundane stuff that only friends care about.

The topic of their two nights together occasionally came up but always light-heartedly, making jokes or teasing each other. They never discussed any possibility of it happening again or of having feelings for each other beyond friendship. Beca never asked or said the things that were on her mind so urgently that afternoon as they were leaving Amy's wedding. It no longer seemed necessary. Things were good between them, and to Beca's mind 'not fucking it up' excluded revisiting their past mistakes.

It was several months after the wedding when they started discussing and making tentative plans to meet up the following summer.

"But no sex this time Chloe. This would be just friends hanging out on holiday, ok?"

"Well obviously. Don't flatter yourself Mitchell. Why do you think I'm inviting you? I need a wingman."

Beca wasn't worried about meeting in person again, and Chloe's attitude reassured her that the events of their past few encounters would never recur. They talked all the time these days and it was never weird. They were both dating again too, so it appeared that the experiment was over and done.

Then Beca met Alex. And things changed.

 **oOo**

"Two macchiatos for Beca and Alex," the barista called.

She went to collect her coffee and saw two identical drinks with the two names written on the paper cups.

"Hi I'm Alex, I thought I should introduce myself since the barista had already put us together. Do you think he is trying to set us up?"

It was early morning, a time when Beca had even less patience and more attitude than normal. "Are you kidding, that's your play? Do you even drink macchiato?"

"I ordered before you," he said slowly and evenly with a smirk.

She laughed when she realised her mistake. "I'm sorry, I suffer from compulsive cynicism."

She invited him to join her and they sat down to have their coffee together that day, and again the next day, and for the rest of the week. He didn't hold back his interest in her after that first day. Some days he reminded her a little of Jesse, he had that same charming persistence. Another week later they were officially dating. He was a good match for her; besides their shared interests he could make her laugh, and he could turn a flagging conversation. He was easy to be around.

She had never talked in much detail to Chloe about anyone she had dated in the previous few months, as they hadn't ever gone past a second or third date. It didn't seem worth mentioning unless it was more serious. She was excited to tell Chloe about Alex but she agonised about it too. She couldn't understand why but it felt a little like a betrayal to tell Chloe how happy she was to have met him, so she procrastinated for weeks. The longer she left it, the stranger it became until eventually it started to feel like a long overdue obligation.

 **oOo**

"So I have something to tell you, I've met a guy, his name is Alex."

"Oh yes?" Chloe responded, encouraging Beca to continue.

As Beca told her more about him, she could hear the tentativeness in her own voice. Why did she sound like she was delivering a news report about a natural disaster?

Chloe wasn't interrupting her. She reluctantly continued her report on Alex, until she came up with Chloe's dating life as a suitable alternate topic.

"Have you been seeing anyone, Chlo?"

"Yeah, but nothing serious." was all Chloe offered in reply. Beca detected a mild hostility in Chloe's tone.

"So, um, how's your teaching going?" Beca asked next. It's wasn't a smooth transition of subjects.

 **oOo**

Their conversations grew increasingly stilted from there. Neither of them volunteered or asked anything about Alex, or anyone Chloe was dating. Then the topic of their holiday together lost momentum and they both agreed it wasn't going to be possible to do it the following summer, with work and other non specified commitments. Eventually they reached something of a breaking point.

She got home late from work one evening and picked up the phone to call Chloe, as they had arranged by text earlier in the day. She was tired, and it saddened her to realise that she didn't really want to make the call - it felt like a chore. The conversation lasted only ten minutes. They talked about work and other familiar topics but the conversation was forced, awkward and dull. They were both relieved to end it with excuses about having to make other calls.

Beca used to hang up after their hour long phone calls feeling the joy of their friendship, now they felt disconnected, and she was left thinking more about the things not said.

Beca was frustrated that she couldn't ever talk about Alex with Chloe. _This is how our history has changed this friendship; our new relationships become taboo subjects._

They continued sending messages, though not as frequently as before, but that phone call turned out to be the last time they spoke to each other in person for a while.

 **oOo**

"Alex, listen. So there is something I want to tell you. It's not a huge thing, I hope, but I want us to be together, and I don't want to keep any secrets from you."

By now, Beca had been dating Alex for over 6 months now and she had been preparing for this conversation for a few weeks. She had even carefully planned the best time and location for it to take place. She selected a Sunday evening at her apartment, the most relaxed day of their week and the place where they spend most of their time together.

"Ok, sure. Go on." He didn't sound worried.

"So, before we met, I did, once, sleep with a woman."

"Wow, are you kidding? That's actually pretty hot Beca. You have to tell me all the dirty details now."

Beca wasn't prepared for that reaction, but what was she thinking? Of course he would find it hot.

"Right Ok, so you've no problem with this?" she responded tersely. Something else was bothering her about his reaction; it wasn't 'dirty'.

"No, I don't. So you fooled around with women, or you're bisexual. So what?"

"Right." Beca replied, hoping that this indicated the end of the conversation. It didn't.

"Ok." Alex said slowly, evidently still processing the information. "So where and how did you meet this chick?"

Despite all the preparation for her admission, Beca hadn't anticipated that question. She had assumed his interest would be more around the physical details which she could justifiable keep to herself anyway.

They had never talked about each other's previous partners, or number of partners or their past inclinations for one night stands. Beca had of course talked a lot about her time with the Bellas but she always avoided talking too much about Chloe.

"We went to the same college." She wasn't going to lie to him but she had planned to omit most of the details. She hoped she wasn't sounding coy.

"Oh yeah? One of those wild college parties?" he joked.

"It wasn't like that Alex. We were both just curious, and actually it happened after we finished college."

"But you already knew her from college?"

"Yes, we met through college A Capella." Beca was now getting lost in this conversation that she had so meticulously tried to control. She wasn't even there, but still Chloe's influence turned Beca into a babbling idiot.

"No way, she was a Barden Bella too? Wait, was she there when you won the world championship? Is she in that photo in your living room?"

"Yeah. She is."

Alex jumped up and sprinted to the living room where he picked up the photo frame. Quietly to herself Beca drawled the word "Fuck" as she followed him into the other room.

"Oh please tell me it was the redhead," he teased.

Beca was panicking and she couldn't let this conversation continue. She didn't want to talk about Chloe, not with Alex. "Look, I wanted you to know about it, and I guess your reaction isn't the worst of all the outcomes I had anticipated, but I'm really uncomfortable talking about it."

"Sorry Beca, of course. But you can understand that it's pretty exciting for me to learn about this new side of you."

"So it was the redhead, wasn't it?" He added a moment later.

Beca rolled her eyes playfully and left the room. She thought it went alright, and at least it was done now. He knew about it, he was ok with it, and they wouldn't have to talk about it ever again.

 **oOo**

After dinner, Beca slid into her usual spot beside him on the sofa. He put his arm around her and she curled up against his chest, but he seemed a little tense.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

He released himself from their embrace and turned to face her.

"Beca, look, this isn't me being a voyeur or anything, but I need to ask you something else about the redhead, what was her name again?"

"Chloe. Her name is Chloe," Beca answered, trying to sound irritated by the conversation but also genuinely irritated that Chloe might be reduced to a punch line in her embarrassing sex story.

"Right, so you guys were friends for years and then you had sex? Didn't that make things really weird? I mean, are you still friends? Are you still in touch?"

She reminded herself that she wanted him to know the truth and that she wouldn't lie to him about it. And it was a fair question.

"Ok, the thing is, we started to lose touch after graduation. It happened, I mean, we had sex, when we saw each other at a wedding the year after. We hadn't been in touch for months before then."

"And afterwards, what happened, did you talk?"

"We texted once or twice, but it was really just to clear the air about what had happened."

"Ah, so that must have been at Fat Amy's wedding. Is that right?"

She had forgotten that Alex had met Amy, and had learned some more of their Bella history from her. So now he had caught her in a lie of omission.

"Well another Bella, Cynthia Rose, got married first and that when it happened . . . the first time. And, well, it did happen again at Amy's wedding." She added sheepishly.

"So since graduating you have seen this woman twice and both times you slept with her?" His tone was beginning to sound a little concerned.

"Are you jealous?" she asked with a smirk. She was trying to lighten the conversation but instead it appeared like she was deflecting, like she was hiding something.

"No I'm not jealous, I trust you Beca, but didn't you ever wonder if it could have been more than just curiosity with this woman?"

"I don't know. No. No. It's not important now, we have lost touch and I don't think about it anymore."

Beca had panicked again in response to the latest question about Chloe. There was no undoing it; she had straight up lied to him now, a deliberate lie and more than a little white lie. Not only that they hadn't lost touch at all, but also that she still thought about it sometimes. Saying it wasn't important was the worst though. She loathed herself for denying the depth and importance of her friendship with Chloe, even if things weren't great between them right now. Beca had been sure that telling him about sleeping with Chloe would clear the way for their relationship to progress, but now that she would have to maintain this ugly lie, she might have just added a third wheel to it instead.


	7. Reunion - Part 1

Emily Junk sat restlessly at her desk in the Bella's house at Barden University. She was just a few months away from graduating and she needed to study for her final exams. She was excited for the next part of her life to begin, but graduation also meant the end of her time as a Bella. After four year of living that dream she felt that she needed to celebrate the milestone in some style. Three years ago her original Bella friends were able to do just that before they left Barden, creating lifelong memories with a trip to Copenhagen where they were crowned A Capella world champions.

Unfortunately that was not going to be an option with the current crop of Bellas that Emily was leading. They were a great group, they had a lot of fun together and they were likely to remain friends for life. They were certainly talented too, but the group was lacking someone with the talent or inspiration of a Beca Mitchell or a Chloe Beale, to raise them from being very good to being exceptional.

Emily's Bellas had just missed out on qualifying for the national finals so their season was over. There would be no more performances. Emily would never again perform as a Bella, and she wasn't happy about it. She wanted her swansong, and an idea was beginning to form in her head as to how she would have it.

 **oOo**

It had been almost three years now since graduating and according to Beca Mitchell, her professional life in LA could not have gone much better. Her personal life on the other hand, was strewn with the results of her missteps and poor decisions.

Despite her best intentions her friendship with Chloe was fading again.

Her relationship with Alex, which she thought had been so promising in the beginning, was now also on the rocks. The day she told him about her trysts with Chloe was probably the moment that things changed between them, but she never saw their problems as being solely her fault. Both of their behaviours in the aftermath had led to their current state.

They had stayed together, despite the bickering, for months. It was Beca that forced them to confront their increasingly unhappy situation and he agreed that it was worth another chance to try to make it work. Beca thought the resurrection of their relationship could be achieved through romantic dates, thoughtful gestures and simply making the time to spend together. Talking directly about the underlying issues was not on the table.

The day that Beca received Emily's message was also a day when she had planned a night out with Alex. Instead of partying with their friends, Beca and Alex were trying to go out more often with just the two of them, revisiting some of their favourite places from the halcyon early days of their relationship.

When Beca's doorbell rang that evening she let Alex into her apartment. They were both in good spirits, anticipating the start of this new chapter for them.

"Sorry, give me five more minutes and I'll be ready to go." she said as she rushed off towards the bathroom. Beca was out of earshot when her phone beeped indicating an incoming message.

"That's your phone Beca, you've got a message," he called out in the direction of her bathroom. He picked up her phone, but as usual it showed him nothing; just a monochrome screen with the current date and time, and a keypad for an unlock code.

"Thanks, I'll be out in three minutes."

Beca never let anyone access her phone, she always kept it locked and no one else knew her code. Her work justified the secrecy; she often received messages from artists who demanded her discretion. This conveniently provided a good excuse so she could hide the messages between Chloe and herself from Alex. Despite her renewed commitment to him, he couldn't ever know that she still occasionally sent messages to Chloe. It had gone too far by now and she had learned to manage, and live with, that little lie.

Ten minutes later Alex watched Beca's eyes light up and her smile broaden as she was reading the message on her phone.

"What it is?" he asked.

She was bouncing with excitement and genuinely eager to share the news with him. "It's from Emily, she's graduating from Barden this year and she's going to organise a reunion for the World Champion Bellas from 3 years ago," she said.

"Fantastic!" He replied, trying to match her enthusiasm. "So tell me, what happens at a college A Capella reunion?"

She laughed. "I'm not sure; Emily's planned nearly a week in Atlanta for us with a performance on the last night. Other than that I guess drinking, partying and acting like irresponsible students."

"And I'll finally get to hear you sing."

"What? Oh. Shit, I'm sorry. It will be for Bellas only. I guess that wasn't clear. No partners, no husbands, or wives, just a girls' reunion. I'm sorry Alex."

She couldn't imagine him there with the Bellas anyway. He wouldn't fit in and he would cramp her style. She didn't want him to come.

"I see." He paused for a moment. Beca had a bad feeling that her perfect evening was about to go horribly pear shaped.

"So, I guess the redhead will be there too?"

She sighed. She could understand his feelings about being excluded from the invitation, and she truly regretted how her insensitivity to that, just seconds earlier, had made this moment even worse. But she hadn't expected that he would bring Chloe into the conversation so quickly. _Here we go again_.

"Chloe would of course have been invited too, but I have no way of knowing if she'll be there or not." She exaggerated her friend's name, it still bothered her enormously that Alex always called her 'the redhead'. It was as good as lying to him again; she could bet her life on Chloe not missing a Bellas' reunion.

"The last I heard she was living in New York and I think she is pretty career focussed these days," she added, trying to add some weight to her explanation.

For a few moments he just glared at her, he was obviously angry and Beca suspected that he could detect her deception. She had lied to Alex so many times about Chloe in the past months, and she was finally starting to accept that it was becoming untenable. He didn't trust her anymore. She had always held on to the fact that it was the only thing she'd ever lied to him about. It was just a small unnecessary lie that escalated. And now Chloe came up in conversation and caused fights between them far too often. She never thought she would ever cheat on him, on anyone, but now she was questioning how far removed from cheating was her persistent dishonesty about Chloe.

"How can you not be concerned, or even a little curious about what it will be like seeing her again?" he demanded.

"She will probably seem like a complete stranger. I've told you this; it's in the past, it was a different time in my life. It's nothing, it never was anything." She was regurgitating the same lines about those two encounters with Chloe. She heard it now, she heard what he had been hearing for months.

"Jesus Beca, you say that every time, maybe you have persuaded yourself by now." He said sarcastically. "But from my point of view it looks like you could be going to this reunion to see her, and you've made it very clear you don't want me there."

"I'm going to see all my old friends from my university days. Would you like me to turn them down just to placate your ridiculous jealously? Is that the type of relationship you want? You know that I need my independence too."

"You don't want me there, Beca." He repeated the words slowly, with the anger in his voice rising. "This is not about you being independent - you exclude me from parts of your life, Beca. It's not the same."

He waited momentarily for a response, but his harsh words had left her abashed. She had no response to his argument and it riled him up even more. He continued with growing rage in his voice.

"You know what the worst thing about all of this is? I haven't seen you so excited about something for such a long time. I thought it was going to be something about us, about trying to make this work. Now I get why you were so excited about it. Why won't you just admit you want to see her again, Beca."

He had never confronted Beca so directly about Chloe before and it shocked her. She just looked at him furiously, trying to stay composed, but unable to speak for fear of what lies, or terrifying truths, might tumble out of her mouth. She stared him down, until he turned away and stormed out of the apartment without another word.

As she stood alone in her apartment listening to Alex's heavy footsteps moving away and fading from her down the hall and out of the building, she wouldn't allow herself to cry. She wasn't upset, she was angry; angry with Alex for not understanding, angry with herself for the stupid little mistake that has grown into a monster, and she was angry with Chloe too.

 _Dammit Chloe Beale, my romantic night with my boyfriend is ruined because of you._

 **oOo**

Beca gave herself two days to calm down and gather her thoughts before contacting Alex again. But first she spent some time going through every room in her apartment collecting any things that Alex had left there. When she picked up any gifts he had given her she felt indifferent to them. They no longer meant anything. It would be rude to give them back but she needed all traces of him removed from her home. She hid his gifts away in a box for donation to charity later. When she finished purging him from her apartment, she felt more clear-headed and ready to do what she had to do next.

She didn't call him, she just sent a short message. "I guess we need to talk. Can you meet at Sixty Five Degrees for a coffee tomorrow at 10am?" She hoped the message was clear, that 'to talk' really meant 'to break up'. It was. Alex replied with a similarly impersonal message. "Ok, 10am tomorrow"

When she entered the cafe the next morning he was sitting alone at a corner table with two cups of coffee in front of him. He spotted her as she approached the table but he didn't get up. He glanced at the familiar duffel bag that she was carrying.

"I was expecting you would bring my things today. I mean, it's over, right?"

She nodded at him as she dropped the bag at his feet and sat down. She wanted to keep the talking to a minimum and get on with her day, and her life without him, as soon as possible. She ignored the second cup of coffee on the table, which he had obviously bought for her.

"Yeah, I think we both knew that a while ago. But Beca, listen. I'm sorry I got so angry the other night but it just drives me crazy all the time how you ..."

Beca shook her head and interrupted him abruptly. "Look, if there is something you feel you really have to say to me, Ok. But let's not do this, I mean, it's over and we don't have to explain ourselves to each other." She knew any discussion about where it went wrong would lead him to talk about Chloe, again. And Beca really didn't want to talk about Chloe with him again.

"What I feel I have to say to you is, I wish you hadn't strung me along for so long while you were still hung up on someone else the whole time."

The accusation and the sarcasm only mildly irritated Beca. She couldn't see the point of continuing to argue about it now.

"Oh my God! I don't want to talk about her with you anymore. I'm so tired of it."

"You know, I don't especially want to talk about her either. But maybe you need to hear it." His tone began to soften from anger to resignation. "Ok. It's true that I was a bit jealous, and I saw her as some sort of rival because she held something over you that I wasn't allowed to know. And I don't know why that was Beca."

Beca still just wanted the talking to stop, especially the talking about Chloe, and she had no intention of responding to his comments. However she felt an impulse to clear her own conscience, and admit to her one little piece of deceit during their time together. In any case, there was nothing left to lose anymore.

"Ok, look, I'm sorry too Alex. Chloe and I were still in touch, and I didn't tell you about that. It was only the occasionally message though. It's just so weird, right? That we were still friends, or trying to be friends, after what happened between us? I didn't know how to explain it to you."

He didn't react to her confession, instead he calmly responded. "Look it's hard for me to offer you this advice right now, but when you do see her at that reunion, maybe you should figure out what's going on there. It doesn't sound like nothing Beca, you and the redhead. Isn't that's the reason why you wouldn't tell me much about her?"

She couldn't stand listening to his jealous ramblings anymore. So she dismissed it with shake of her head as she stood up to leave. "No I don't think so and you and I had bigger problems than that anyway. I gotta go Alex. Take care of yourself."

 **oOo**

Beca refused to entertain Alex's theory about her and Chloe. She now saw him as a jealous type and thought it would have been something else further down the line in their relationship if it hadn't been about Chloe. She didn't regret ending things with him, but she could have used a good friend to talk to about it at the time.

She desperately wanted to call Chloe but she knew that was not a realistic option. After months of acting like barely more than an acquaintance she couldn't suddenly reappear in Chloe's life needing a shoulder to cry on, and then rant on about her failed relationship. There were other factors that Beca could see that made it all impossibly messy. First of all, Chloe had been weird and not very supportive about her being with Alex from the outset. Another problem was how could she talk about breaking up with Alex without going into the details of his jealousy about Chloe? She didn't want to admit that to Chloe and she definitely didn't want to explain it to anyone else either.

She was going to have to face Chloe at the reunion and try to work it out, and she truly wanted to. She mused over preparing another speech but she didn't know what else she could add to the previous one. And Chloe was unlikely to be so forgiving the second time around. She berated herself for letting this happen again when she had promised not to fuck it up.

All she could do was try to fix things again, and so she cautiously initiated a conversation with Chloe about the reunion.

Beca M [19.50] : Have you seen the details about Emily's Bellas' reunion? I expect I'll be seeing you there. Will be so much fun!


	8. Reunion - Part 2

Beca Mitchell had been on Chloe Beale's mind for months, and increasingly so since their last proper phone conversation. Initially Chloe had been disappointed that Beca didn't have enough time for both her boyfriend and her supposed best friend; that their friendship would only exist when they were both mostly single. But the limited contact from Beca from that point on had made her miss it, and she craved it more and more as time went by. Lately every one of the occasional messages from Beca brightened her day, even though they were usually just a quick hello or a music recommendation.

The pattern of peaks and troughs in their relationship since graduation had frustrated Chloe enormously, but now she had finally worked some things out, and at least she no longer found those swings in their friendship so inexplicable.

Chloe never had any intention of telling Beca when she was in the few, short-lived, and mostly disastrous relationships in that time period. It was all a little humiliating for her. She wouldn't even call them relationships; it was more accurate to say she dated a few people. Some of those lovers adored her but she could never fully reciprocate the feelings. Her heart ached for someone else. Eventually she allowed Ben, who had become her closest friend in New York, to coax the truth out of her.

Ben and Chloe met most Sunday mornings for breakfast and a walk around the park. Their conversations almost always started with the same two topics. The first was about their work, and often involved Ben extolling the rewards of working at a NGO, and the opportunities it could offer Chloe too. Chloe had secured a position at an elementary school, and though it wasn't her dream job, she was reluctant to move on after only one year. She always put Ben's idea aside, to think about when she had more time over summer.

Their second topic started out as a conversation about Chloe's recent dating experiences, which was rarely a boring story, but Ben often pushed it towards a place that was still uncomfortable for Chloe to talk about. Some days she was more open to it, some days it hurt too much.

"How are things going with that new guy? Didn't you have a date last night?" Ben started as they sat down to breakfast on the day he finally succeeded in extracting her confession.

"No, we cancelled. Actually we decided not to see each other anymore."

"What? Again? You've been pretty unlucky in love recently, haven't you?" It was something of an ongoing joke between them, despite how close to the bone it was for Chloe.

She smiled at him, she would let him away with it today.

"I suppose I am, yeah. He was fun to hang out with but we didn't really have a connection or much in common. We didn't want to waste our time."

"So both of you agreed not to see each other again, is that right? Or was that decision all on you perhaps, Chloe?" He made it sound like another joke, but Chloe knew how loaded the statement was. Chloe just shrugged her shoulders. It was permission for Ben to press a little harder.

"And that girl you were seeing last month, Alicia, she was terrific. What really happened there?" He asked casually.

Chloe looked away and stared out the window of the restaurant for a few moments, took a deep breath and exhaled with an excessively audible sigh. Ben waited.

"She was so sweet, I know. I just had this bad feeling that I would break her heart. So ending it seemed like the kindest thing to do, you know?"

"That's too bad Chloe, but why did you think you would hurt her? Didn't you care for her?"

"Yes I did, but I could see that her feelings for me were stronger than mine could ever be for her." Chloe admitted.

"Why do you think that is?" He shot back instantly.

Her body stiffened. The teasing prelude was done. He had leaned his upper body a few inches towards her, his eyes opened a little wider and his eyebrows raised. And was he nodding his head very slightly? Like he was encouraging her? _Go on Chloe. Say it. SAY IT._

"Because..." She paused and finally turned her head to look at him fully.

"Because she wasn't Beca. Because everyone I've been with I ended up somehow comparing to Beca, and because they all fall short."

"Oh Chloe, how good did it feel to finally say it?" He flashed a fantastic smile at her, went over to where she was sitting, leaned down and hugged her. She wasn't expecting it but she welcomed the embrace and clung tightly to him. When he moved back to his seat again he noticed a few tears rolling down Chloe's cheeks.

She wiped them away and smiled weakly. "I suppose it feels a bit better to say it, but it's doesn't solve my problem. She lives in LA, she probably has a boyfriend and I have no reason to think she feels the same about me. What can I do?"

"Well I think you do have one or two reasons to be hopeful, you guys did have sex a couple of times, remember? Call her. Or better yet, go see her. You have to tell her, and find out either way."

"I don't know. Beca is kind of weird about that stuff. If I made a big gesture like that it's likely to freak her out. Anyway, realistically it's impossible right? Long distance, between here and LA? So I guess I've got two options. I can talk to her, tell her how I feel, probably get rejected and have her shut me out of her life. Or I can say nothing, keep her in my life as a friend and then eventually move on and get over it."

"There is a third possibility, Chloe."

"Right, the one where she confesses her love for me too, and she rushes to New York to be with me, and we have our happily ever after. Yeah, right. Good one, Ben!"

Chloe knew she was being flippant to protect herself, and of course Ben knew that too. Beca's was going to be a tough heart to crack open, and it could lead to a lot of heartache for Chloe. But it wasn't in Chloe's nature to suppress her feeling for long and so there was a good chance she was heading for a lot of heartache.

She smiled weakly at him and he stepped over to hug her again.

"Come on Chloe. You just have to find out, either way. And don't focus on the worst case scenario here, that not like you."

 **oOo**

Chloe was still weighing up her options about what to do about her feelings for Beca when she received Emily's message regarding the Bellas' reunion. She was thrilled to receive it but it didn't compare to the joy she felt when she read Beca's message a few days later.

Just knowing Beca had been thinking of her, and about seeing her soon, was enough to give her hope. Beca never mentioned Alex, of course, but that didn't spare Chloe's heart. She burned with jealousy just wondering about their relationship now. A horrific thought occurred to her; what if she brings him to the reunion?Emily's message seemed to imply the reunion was for Bellas only, but maybe in her loved up state she wouldn't see that. _If she's become one of those girls who brings her boyfriend everywhere now, I'll have to kick her in the head._

 **oOo**

Chloe B [20.06] : Oh my god Becs! I cannot wait!

Beca M [20.09] : Me neither! Wonder what the 'performance' is about though? Do you think it will mean 4 hours of rehearsals every day?

Chloe B [20.11] : If so, I guess you and I will have to lead them.

Beca M [20.12] : Not gonna happen Beale.

Chloe felt another pang of disappointment on receiving that reply, but she should have known Beca would be cynical about it.

Chloe B [20.15] : It's going to be so awesome, just us girls. All the Bellas together again.

It wasn't as subtle as she wanted but when Beca replied with a thumbs-up emoticon, Chloe took it to mean that Beca understood the not clearly specified 'no partners' rule.

 **oOo**

Chloe caught up with Ben as usual on the Sunday before she left for Atlanta. Only one topic of conversation was on the agenda that day.

"Are you nervous about something, Chloe?"

He was watching her trying to expend her excess energy; shifting in her seat, stretching out her limbs and playing with the coasters on the table.

"I get stupid excited when she sends me an email with nothing except a link to a music clip on You Tube or something. What will I be like when I see her in person?"

She was suffering, in a way, but she was excited too now that she had resolved to act on her feeling for Beca. To be with Beca would be worth taking the risk. Even if it meant ending up with a broken heart or a lost friendship. She had to know, whatever the consequences.

"So have you got a plan of attack?" Ben asked.

"Yes, I have. I've thought about this a lot. We have nearly a whole week there, so I'll take my time to bring the subject up with her little by little and you know, very delicately. Try to figure her out from her reactions. And I'll be super careful not to make her uncomfortable or say anything too risqué."

"OK, good luck with that, because that won't seem odd at all to Beca and the rest your friends."

"Yeah well, that's the best I could come up with. But I am quite concerned that I might just ditch the plan and try to jump her bones on the first night, and possibly ruin the whole event, for everyone."

He laughed loudly. "I think the jumping her bones plan sounds better."

"I know this is all really entertaining for you, but I'm completely freaking out."

"No, I know. I'm trying to help you relax. So seriously Chloe, I only met Beca that one time at that wedding, and I spend that evening thinking 'get a room, you two'. I have no doubt that there is something between you. But I get that even if she feels the same about you, she might not be able to be with you, or she might not choose to. That's what you have to be prepared for Chloe."

Chloe chose to only pay attention to the first part of what he said and to ignore the warning.


	9. Reunion - Part 3

Chloe parked her rental car outside the Bellas' house at Barden. She got out of the car, stopped and looked up at the building, losing herself to old memories for a few moments. Then she took a deep breath, grabbed her bag and headed towards the house.

Emily greeted her at the door and let her into the lively house where most of her old team were excitedly reconnecting. As Chloe scanned the living room, she spotted Beca chatting with Stacie in the doorway to the kitchen. That was the exact moment when Chloe just knew she was screwed; she knew she had potentially signed up for a week of complete torture.

She mentally congratulated herself for not making a beeline for Beca right away. She worked her way through the room, forcing herself to take her time chatting and catching up with everyone individually. When she finally progressed towards the kitchen and found herself face to face with the object of her desires, she just stared and smiled before hugging Beca tightly. Beca responded to the embrace. So far things seemed comfortable between them.

About thirty seconds into their conversation was the first occasion when Chloe forgot she was supposed to be behaving cautiously around Beca this week.

"So are you dating anyone right now Beca?"

 _Jesus, could I be more any more transparent?_ She berated herself.

Fortunately, Beca did not appear to be fazed by the question. "Well I was seeing this guy, Alex, but it wasn't going anywhere. It was great, I mean really great, at the start but then we had some issues, and we decided to end it." She paused before adding "He didn't give me space and he got jealous about some things."

Chloe wasn't proud of it, but she took considerable satisfaction in hearing this update on Alex. She was pretty intrigued about the jealousy comment too. Beca didn't return the same question to Chloe. Instead she steered the conversation towards safer subjects by asking Chloe how it felt being back in Atlanta.

Stacie was within earshot of their conversation, and noticing Beca's omission, she interrupted them and blurted out "Chloe, are you still with that guy you brought to Amy's wedding, Ben was it?"

Chloe paused before replying and glanced towards Beca who had brought her drink to her mouth and was looking into it. She took a long drink and when she finally did lift her gaze again she searched about the room. Like she was bored of the current conversation now.

"Ben's just a friend. There is no one serious in my life right now," Chloe said.

Beca had already started walking away before Chloe finished her sentence, heading towards an increasingly raucous group playing drinking games.

 **oOo**

A few hours passed and they hadn't spoken to each other again. Chloe watched Beca downing what must have been her sixth or seventh drink of the night. Beca obviously intended to get drunk while Chloe had nursed one beer for the whole night. She wouldn't trust herself around Beca if she was drunk too, so Chloe was keeping her distance. Eventually Beca made her way back to Chloe's side as the booze took hold and deprived her of her inhibitions.

"Chloe, Chloe. Listen. I want to tell you something." Beca looked from side to side, ensuring no other ears were close enough to overhear the conversation. Nobody was near, but Beca still leaned closer to Chloe and lowered her voice.

"So, the thing with Alex I was telling you before, the thing was, I wanted to tell him the truth about, I mean, well I didn't want to keep any secrets from him, you know? So when I told him I had been with women too, that's when things started going wrong between us. We, well it was just him really, couldn't get past that."

Chloe loved hearing this revelation even if she would have to put it down to the fact that Beca was drunk and possibly just needed to vent about her break up. So Chloe deviated from her plan for the second time in just a few hours. Before they had ever had sex, she could never resist the devious pleasure of engaging in a conversation about sex with Beca, just to make her uncomfortable. And Beca had initiated this conversation so who was Chloe to stop her? And Beca should probably have known that she was provoking Chloe with that confession about her and Alex.

"Really, that's a pretty unusual reaction for a guy. Whenever I tell guys about that stuff, they love it, they ask for all the hot, juicy details and they even sometimes suggest threesomes, and not in a subtle or tasteful way, if you know what I mean," Chloe said with her best attempt at deadpan.

"You've told guys about that, about us?" Chloe watched with pleasure as a look of horror took over Beca's face and as she leaned in again to almost whisper the last two words. She expected Beca would be completely aghast at the thought of Chloe sharing details of their trysts with anyone else. Chloe just winked and let Beca suffer for a moment. She was really enjoying this but she shouldn't take it too far.

"Oh no, of course not. I leave them to their imaginations," Chloe said, and then walked away.

Across the room Stacie couldn't hear the conversation, but she watched the exchange with curiosity.

 **oOo**

Beca found her way back to Chloe again later in the night, and threw an arm around her shoulder. "Chloe, I think maybe I'm ready for bed."

"What's that Beca?" Chloe replied, leaning into Beca's hold on her and snaking her arm around Beca's waist.

"I think I've had a bit too much to drink, and I need to lie down now," Beca slurred. Chloe realised Beca wasn't flirting with her now, she just needed a party mom to take care of her.

"OK, right. Let's find your room. Emily, where are we all sleeping? Come on, Beca." Chloe removed her hand from around Beca's waist but took hold of her arm to keep her steady as they headed for the stairs.

"Have we got the same rooms as in college?" Chloe asked Emily, suddenly thinking how much she would like to have the privacy of her old single room tonight.

"More or less, the girls have left for the summer so all the rooms are free. Except your old room, that's my room now. Most of the beds have probably been claimed already so let me check what's free."

Emily led the way as Chloe helped Beca climb the steps. Emily quickly checked each room while Chloe supported a fading Beca at the top of the stairs.

"It looks like you two are lucky last. You've got Beca & Amy's old room. I think Stacie grabbed Amy to bunk with her, dunno why. I can move if you like though, you can have your old room?"

Chloe readjusted her grip on Beca, who now seemed even floppier and in need of more support.

"No that's ok, anywhere is fine for now. I just need to get her drunken ass in bed," Chloe said.

"Hey!" Beca protested as she playfully pushed away from Chloe. Then she leaned into her again and giggled. "Oh, never mind. I can't say that's the first time someone has said that to me."

Emily chuckled but Chloe ignored the remark. Chloe never wanted to be the party mom and she wasn't used to be the one being teased.

Once in the bedroom, Chloe dropped Beca onto the bed where she collapsed backwards and closed her eyes. She already looked close to passing out so Chloe took Beca's shoes off, but stopped before removing any more of her clothes - it would have make her feel like a creep. She filled a glass of water and left it beside Beca's bed.

As she was leaving the room, Beca called after her. "Stay and talk to me for a while Chloe."

"No Beca, you're kind of hammered right now. I don't want you to say things that you'll regret tomorrow." In her head she counted number three; the third time already that she had ignored her delicate approach to wooing Beca. But she was irritated with Beca now and with herself too. "And I don't want to listen to your drunken bullshit. I've got a party to get back to. I've left some water beside you, make sure you drink it, Beca." She closed the door as she spoke so Beca had no chance to reply.

When Chloe returned a few hours later to go to bed, Beca seemed to be in a deep sleep. But as Chloe climbed under the sheets in the adjacent single bed, she heard Beca whispering.

"Chloe how was the rest of the party?"

"It was good. Now go to sleep Beca."

"Tell me about your life in New York," Beca gently pleaded.

"No, not now. I'm tired and I'm going to sleep. Just shut up Beca, Ok?"

Beca shut up, at least for a while. But Chloe couldn't rest; her mind and her heart were racing. When Beca whispered her name again a little later, she pretended to be asleep.

"Chloe? Chloe?

"Chloe, I want to tell you something."

Chloe still didn't respond, but her heart rate was not slowing down and she had to focus on keeping her breath calm and even. But after calling Chloe's names a few more times Beca did finally shut up for the night. If Beca's something was what Chloe wanted it to be, she could only hope it was also something Beca would have the courage to say later when she was sober.

 **oOo**

In the morning Beca woke to the sound of an Alka-Seltzer being dropped into a glass of water. She opened her eyes to the harsh daylight and located the much needed hangover treatment fizzing on the bedside table. Chloe sat down on the other bed looking across the room at her.

"Beca, how are you feeling?"

"It's too early to tell, but I'm confident that it's not going to be fantastic. What was I doing last night?"

Chloe assumed it was a rhetorical question as Beca hadn't been anywhere near memory-loss levels of drunkenness the night before, and she couldn't be too hungover if she could whip out the sarcasm five seconds after waking up. "I tried to get you to drink some water before bed, but you always insist you'll be fine."

"I will be after this, thanks." She picked up the glass and knocked its contents back, starting to feel some relief as soon as it hit her stomach.

"Listen Beca, do you want me to find a different room, or I could swap with Amy?"

"No, of course not, why would you say that?"

 _Because it will be fucking agony sleeping in this bed over here every night for the next week._

Chloe spoke slowly and delivered her rehearsed explanation. "I just thought maybe it would be more comfortable, for both of us, what with all that's happened before?"

"No, Chloe. This is fine. We're Ok, we'll work it out," Beca replied after she had turned away from Chloe's eye contact.

"And I promise I won't be getting that drunk every night," Beca added with a groan as she started to drag herself out of bed.

"Ok, well when you're feeling human again, get down to the kitchen; we have a schedule to keep to today!"

 **oOo**

Thirty minutes later Beca made her way to the kitchen. While enduring some jeering from the others regarding her inebriation the night before, she grabbed a coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. Stacie observed the two former co-captains; Chloe didn't join in the teasing and never even looked up from her laptop when Beca entered the room. Stacie also followed Beca movements as she walked the length of the table and sat as far as possible from Chloe, despite several empty chairs around her.

Beca sipped her coffee silently, still needing a little more recovery time before dealing with any discussion about rehearsals or music or arrangements. Chloe instinctively took charge. "Ok, Emily has arranged for us to have access to the auditorium whenever we want, which will be more convenient that here. How much time do you guys want to put into preparing for our performance at the weekend?"

"At little as possible, I didn't come here to spend all day reliving the worst experiences of Bellas' practice," Amy replied, and most of the others nodded their heads in agreement.

"Yes, I agree. So let's go over there right now and figure out if we can still sing together, and how much we will need to practice."

Chloe's enthusiastic suggestion was met with groans and complaints, but she still seemed to hold some authority over these girls in this domain, and so twenty minutes later they were all leaving the house for their first practice together in three years.

By the time they reached the auditorium Beca had recovered sufficiently to assist Chloe in taking everyone through a few basics to test out their voices, and fortunately everyone still had it. It was obvious they would all quickly pick up any of the songs they had done together during their years as Bellas. A heated discussion soon erupted as everyone fought to include their choices. After twenty minutes they were clearly not making any progress towards reaching an agreement.

Chloe certainly didn't want this week to be a reminder of the worst parts of being a Bella either, but she wasn't stressed about what was happening now. Unlike how she might have responded three years ago, at this moment she didn't feel any responsibility for resolving the situation. In fact it just made her laugh that only thirty minutes in and all of them were already arguing. Chloe glanced at Beca who was also smiling as she watched the others fighting. Like Chloe, she was relaxed, amused by the events in progress, and not contributing to the conversation.

It was Stacie who finally realised that something was different - they hadn't been brought into line by their captains. When she saw the two of them sitting there silently, smirking at the rest of the group, she yelled at them.

"Chloe, Beca, aren't you going to sort this out?"

Beca leaned forward in her seat and looked around the group with a stern expression.

"Look, I think it's obvious what we should do."

She paused and looked around again to ensure everyone was paying close attention. "It's got to be 'I Saw the Sign' followed by 'Eternal Flame', right?"

Beca grinned and leaned back into her chair. Chloe made eye contact with Beca for the first time since their awkward conversation in the bedroom earlier that morning. Chloe was soon laughing so much that tears were rolling freely down her face. Not one other person laughed, the rest of the group were firmly unimpressed. Stacie in particular was beginning to find these two quite irritating, on a number of counts.

"Ok clearly we are not going to figure this out so I suggest we leave the decision to Beca and Chloe. The rest of us will agree to go along with whatever you two choose. Everyone Ok with that?"

Stacie directed the question to everyone except Beca and Chloe. There was already a mutinous atmosphere in the room so the others all readily agreed.

"Great! So we will leave you guys here to figure it out." She looked at her watch. "How about we meet back at the house at 3 and we can talk about it again then?"

Stacie stood up to leave and continued speaking before the newly reappointed leaders could protest.

"We are going to need to stock the house with food and drinks and maybe make some plans for things to do in the next few days, so the rest of us will take care of that while you guys are here, working hard."

She led the others out of the auditorium swiftly, leaving the two gobsmacked women behind. Beca and Chloe were both thrown into a sudden daze as the rapid and unexpected events of the previous minutes started to sink in, and a stony silence filled the huge auditorium. Their self-satisfied grins had disappeared and had been replaced with expressions of mild panic.

"What the hell just happened? Those bitches are going to pay for that," Beca raged.

"We did kind of provoke them. Shall we just get on with it?" Chloe said.

Chloe knew that it would be easier for both of them to be around the other if they concentrated on the musical task at hand. And they worked very well together. They were good at this and it was familiar and comfortable for them to do it together. Initially they stayed focused on the work but they started to relax as they progressed, and as they sang to each other while working through some ideas.

Once they reached an agreement on music, they tried to remember and step through some of the original choreography for their chosen songs. Chloe had the better memory and it was impossible to demonstrate the steps without touching Beca. She began to notice how much Beca was tensing her body with almost every contact between them. But she didn't back off.

"This is actually fun, being here, doing this again," Chloe said as they took a break some time later.

"Yeah. It is. Weird, but fun," Beca replied.

They smiled at each other and allowed the moment to linger a little too long until it grew into an uncomfortable silence.

"I should check that I still have all this stuff on my laptop. I'm sure I haven't deleted anything but it was three years ago and I haven't looked at any of it since then." Beca spoke the words quickly and turned to fetch her laptop and headphones from her bag.

"Sure, and then I think we should be about finished here," Chloe replied, now speaking to the back of Beca's head.

Once she had collected everything from her bag, Beca placed her laptop on top of the piano and positioned it so that she was facing the closest wall, making it impossible for Chloe to see her face.

It might have been a cue for Chloe to leave, and there wasn't anything left for her to do now in the auditorium. But she wanted to stay and wait for Beca. To keep occupied, she started by tidying away the chairs. Then, while maintaining the distance Beca had set between them, she also opened her laptop. She wasn't even looking at the screen. She was watching Beca from behind, watching the rhythmic movements of her head and her hands as she listened to her music. She was trying to analyse Beca's reaction to the moment they had just had, as well as their interactions the night before. Why would Beca have shared the details about Alex, about how their breakup maybe involved her, and what other secrets she had been about to tell her?

Beca twitched slightly when Chloe's hand touched the small of her back. She didn't turn right away. She took her headphones off carefully and the seconds stretched out while Chloe's hand still rested in place. Chloe waited calmly, in her head prepared with a question for Beca about why she had told her those things last night. It seemed like a good point to initiate more open conversation between them, one step at a time, like she had planned. Then Beca finally turned around. Once Chloe looked into the wild eyes that now faced her, she completely lost her train of thought and her composure, and she kissed Beca.


	10. Reunion - Part 4

Chloe had rushed into the kiss, making no attempt to gauge if Beca wanted it too. All rational thoughts were gone; her cautious plan for this week, their uneven recent history, this tension between them today; she thought about none of it. When her awareness finally re-engaged she realised that Beca had not recoiled, she was kissing her back. But still Chloe felt it appropriate to apologise for her abrupt behaviour.

"I'm sorry, I really hadn't intended to do that," she said sheepishly though without adding any explanation. Beca just smiled, with her arms now wrapped around Chloe's neck, the words having no impact on her. She leaned in towards Chloe again.

"Wait Beca, this isn't you rebounding after Alex, is it? I don't want to take advantage of you like that again. I want to know you want this too."

"You really don't need to worry about that. You have no idea!" Beca said.

They kissed again, less tentatively this time. Beca grabbed fistfuls of Chloe's hair them combed her fingers through it, while Chloe's fingers trailed down Beca's shoulders and back. But it was already getting close to 3 o'clock, when they would have to meet the others back at the house, so Chloe ended their make-out session. She gestured towards the clock.

"We have to get back to the house for 3."

Beca smiled contentedly and nodded. "Ok, we'll get back to this later."

They walked back to the house in an almost comfortable silence. Chloe wanted to talk about it but she assumed Beca wasn't ready for that just yet. Chloe was preoccupied with the thought that they really needed to resolve what this was, but they would have time, they had several days together ahead of them. Knowing that Beca didn't respond well to being pressured, Chloe just needed to be patient.

 **oOo**

Back at the Bella's house Beca and Chloe explained what they had decided for the performance and everyone agreed without hesitation. They knew they couldn't have figured it out as well as these two, but Beca and Chloe's excess enthusiasm about it was unexpected. They clearly had enjoyed their assigned task after being abandoned in the auditorium.

To someone paying close attention, like Stacie, the interaction between them had changed significantly. The tension of the previous night and at breakfast that morning was gone. They were closely watching each other speaking, and they touched each other on the arm to interrupt and take over explaining their ideas. Stacie wasn't even listening to them, she fixated on the dynamic between Beca and Chloe, and her silence and furrowed brow were not inconspicuous.

"Stacie, what's wrong?" Chloe asked.

"What? Nothing, that all sounds perfect. Good job, you guys. It's just, I've thought of something that might be quite useful for us to have this week. I'm going to go check it out."

"What is it?"

"You'll see. I should be back in plenty of time for afternoon drinks."

They all watched her grinning as she left the house.

 **oOo**

Stacie returned within the hour and proudly threw several sets of keys on the kitchen table. Everyone heard the noisy jangling sound and gathered around.

"Stacie! We are not having a key party!" Chloe said.

"Relax. Of course not," Stacie replied.

"Ok, so what are all these keys for?"

"They are for a bunch of apartments on campus. I know a lot of you have work to do while you are here, and I figured you might appreciate having someplace quiet, away from the bedlam in this house. So I went to the accommodation office and got these."

"How did you persuade them to do that?"

"It wasn't that hard. I just reminded them what these Bellas have done for Barden, and demanded a bit more luxury for us on out triumphant return."

Stacie's outwardly thoughtful gesture was well appreciated, as many in the group had anticipated spending several hours a day on the phone or online with their employers and colleagues during this week. Chloe, who was on summer vacation and obviously not in that category, stepped forward first and picked up one of the key chains.

"Thanks Stacie. What a great idea. Hey Beca, you wanna share with me?"

"Yeah sure," Beca replied casually.

"I know I don't really need to work this week, but it makes sense for Beca and me to share, in case we have to work on any issues with the set. And I'd really like some quiet time too, anyway, and these apartments should be big enough that we both would have enough space."

Chloe couldn't stop her mouth running, despite her brain's message, _Chloe, just shut up._ She glanced at Beca who was staring at her and whose face seemed to be sending the same message, _Chloe, just shut up._

Neither of them looked at Stacie, who was smiling to herself.

 **oOoOo**

During afternoon drinks, Beca got a call from work and she stepped outside to take it. After hanging up she turned to go back inside, but saw that Stacie had joined her on the stoop. She was holding two bottles of beer and she handed one to Beca.

"Beca, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Beca felt a slight tightening in her chest, Stacie was another person who could make her feel uncomfortable when she chose to.

"Sure," she replied, taking a swig of the beer.

"It's about you and Chloe."

Beca almost choked on her beer and began to cough and splutter. Stacie just laughed as Beca was recovering. "It's Ok Beca, I think it's fantastic you two getting together."

"What are you talking about?"

"Really? You're going to deny it? Come on Beca. I've seen you two."

"What? What have you seen?" Beca asked. The words came out too fast and too high.

"Let's see! So last night, you were weird around each other, one minute super friendly, the next avoiding each other. Then this morning, you completely ignored each other at breakfast - you couldn't even look at each other. And this afternoon in the auditorium, when the rest of us were leaving, you both looked worried, like really worried." Stacie chuckled as she recalled that delicious moment.

"And now, this afternoon after you've spend some alone time together, it's completely changed. You're best friends again. I don't know, it was like you had released some tension, somehow?"

"Right," Beca drawled, conceding nothing yet.

"And that bizarre over-explaining from Chloe about sharing an apartment with you? What the hell was that about?"

Beca realised the game was up. "When did you figure it out? Wait, did you hear us at Cynthia Rose's wedding?"

"What? It's been going on since then? I figured it out for sure about an hour ago, but I only got suspicious last night. You were with Chloe that night way back then? I had no idea. It explains a lot about the next day."

"You were in the next room. You didn't hear Chloe singing, or anything else, later?"

"I didn't hear singing but actually yeah, I did hear some unexpected noise from the direction your room, but I just assumed you were watching porn and getting drunk." Beca just chuckled, as Stacie continued processing the information.

"And if Chloe and Ben were never a couple, does that mean that at Amy's ...?" She trailed off.

"Yes, we got together that night too."

"Such a dark horse, Beca."

"Look Stacie, do you think anyone else knows?"

"I doubt it, but is that a problem? I think everyone would be really stoked about it."

"Well I think it's best for now to keep it quiet, until we figure out, I mean, until we know what it is, what we are doing. We haven't really talked about, what this is, between us, yet."

"Ok, sure, if that's what you want. For now, I promise my lips are sealed Beca." Stacie gave her another over the top wink as she led both of them back inside the house.

 **oOo**

That night, after dinner in the Bella's house they sat around chatting for a few hours. Beca impatiently and repeatedly looked at her watch and exchanged glances both with Chloe and with Stacie. The former smiled brightly each time their eyes met while the latter grinned widely, sometimes accompanied by her familiar exaggerated wink. Chloe was unusually quiet during the evening and spend much of the time staring pensively at the key chain in her hand. It was only 9 o'clock when Beca stood up to leave.

"Ok, I'm beat. I need an early night, especially after getting so smashed last night. Chloe? keys?"

"Oh! I might as well come with you now, Beca. See you all at rehearsal tomorrow morning at 10, ok?"

They were both up and out the door in an instant. On the stoop they caught a look in each other's eyes and without any words being exchanged, they started walking rapidly towards their apartment. They were kissing as soon as the door of the apartment shut behind them. They moved quickly to the bedroom leaving a trail of discarded clothes.

 **oOo**

Chloe gave her heart easily and knew what it was to feel that uncontrolled happiness. But this was different, it was more than that. Maybe she was in a temporary bubble of love, and maybe their future was pretty foggy right now, but so what? She was with the one she loved and this time there was no drunkenness as a possible reasoning; this time was the first time they were being completely true to their attraction to each other.

Some hours later, they were lying together in the bed they would share for the next five days. Chloe was lying on her side with one arm draped across Beca's stomach. Beca held it in both hands.

"I didn't tell you everything Chloe, what I said about Alex and our breakup."

"That's Ok Beca, you don't have to tell me about that."

"Except, I want to, because some of it is about you."

"Ok." Chloe replied softly, thinking of the hint Beca had given about his jealously the night before. She eagerly anticipated what might be coming; that Beca could be about to admit the same feelings for her.

"When I told him about us, I mean about sleeping with you, he did ask for all the dirty details too."

"Well, of course he did. And you didn't want to talk about it, right?"

"Not really, but that wasn't the only problem. When he said that, he misunderstood what and why I was telling him. I was a bit angry actually. It wasn't just some anonymous casual sex story." She paused and Chloe restrained her smile - she loved watching Beca awkwardly struggling for the right words. "I wanted to tell him it was a special, unforgettable experience that I wasn't going to cheapen for his amusement."

She groaned after she said it. She let go of Chloe's arm and grabbed a pillow and buried her face in it. Chloe leaned over, and kissed Beca's neck. Chloe didn't care that it made Beca cringe to say it. To Chloe that just added rather than diminished the sentiment expressed.

"You said that, Beca?" Chloe said as she gently pried the pillow from Beca's hands.

"Well no, I didn't, not to his face. I was worried it would make him question me even more, and I didn't trust how I would respond. But then we started arguing all the time, and he said some things that were really hard to face.

"What I'm saying is that it was me too that couldn't deal with it, when he kept challenging me about it, about my feelings you."

There was a moment of silence but Chloe didn't interrupt it, she desperately wanted Beca to continue opening up to her like this, and say what exactly those feelings were.

"I really thought I was in love with him, but I think maybe I just really wanted to be."

Beca sighed and rolled onto her side, with her back now to Chloe. She took Chloe's hand and pulled it in to her chest. Chloe inched closer so that their bodies were pressed together tightly. Chloe had an urgent question on her lips, but she bit her tongue and relaxed into their embrace, repeating her 'be patient Chloe' mantra internally, as they both drifted off to sleep.


	11. Reunion - Part 5

Over the next few day the ex-Bellas fell into an easy daily routine; the only events in their diaries being two hours of lazy practice in the morning and hanging out together at the Bella's house from late afternoon. The commitment to daily rehearsals in the auditorium was the only thing that forced Beca and Chloe out of their bed in the morning, though they invariably ended up back in it after practice every afternoon. Some evenings, Chloe purposefully calculated how early they could excuse themselves after dinner without appearing unsociable. She was desperate for them to be together all the time and was sometimes too gripped by this new passion to have any awareness, or concern, about what her actions were revealing. But, no matter, she could always rely on Beca to be responsible for ensuring they weren't being too indiscreet.

On their fourth night Chloe decided it was time to start probing deeper as Beca hadn't volunteered anything since that first night, and Chloe's impatience was building.

"So Beca, have there been other women, you know, besides me?"

"No Chloe. Only you."

They allowed the words to linger a moment, before Beca asked the obvious next question.

"And you, have you been with others?"

"Just a few. Most ended up being not much more than a one night stand, but there was one short relationship, though all of it was a bit disappointing. Well maybe not disappointing exactly. I don't know what I was expecting but sometimes it just felt a bit empty, you know? Like I could probably have had as much fun on my own."

"Really? Can you make yourself scream your own name? And beg yourself not to stop?"

"Well no, I can't. Good point. But let's just say I couldn't describe those others as special, unforgettable experiences. That's for sure."

"Shut up!" Beca said as she elbowed Chloe's ribs. Chloe just smirked. Beca playfully continued to elbow her, while Chloe casually thwarted all of Beca's attacks. In her frustration, Beca swiftly shifted her position so that she was straddling Chloe beneath her, she took the stronger woman's wrists and pinned them on the pillow above her head. Chloe didn't resist and her smirk faded as she stared at Beca's face hovering a few centimetres above hers. Chloe easily released her hands from Beca's grip and intertwined their fingers, then pressed their lips together.

 **oOo**

Friday morning's rehearsal started in the usual relaxed manner, until Amy made a late and dramatic entrance. Twirling a key fob around her finger she announced "Look what I found this morning ladies."

Emily recognised it instantly and nervously wondered how Amy could have found the keys to the Bellas' minibus.

"Amy, I don't think you should ... Oh my god, where is the bus now? Have you taken it? Are you even insured to drive it?"

"Relax Legacy." Turning to the rest of the group she continued, "You know what this means? Road trip! Bonding activity! I know the perfect place. We're leaving half an hour after practice, and you all should wear comfortable clothes."

 **oOo**

"It's so good to have the whole day together with all you guys and get away from working," Cynthia Rose said once the bus took off on Amy's mystery journey.

Everyone, including Beca and Chloe, agreed. Both of them lied beautifully as they expressed how frustrating it had been spending the afternoons cooped up in the apartment, 'working'.

"What work are you doing Chloe? This is your summer vacation," Cynthia Rose asked, without any obvious suspicious.

"True, but I probably won't always be a teacher. I'm looking into some other opportunities in education." She glanced at Beca expecting a smirk or a wink, but instead Beca was smiling proudly at her.

When Amy parked the van, and excitedly pointed to the 'Sumo Experience' sign, the responses from her passengers ranged from mild trepidation to complete terror. But once inside and suited up, almost everyone got into it with gusto.

Amy won every bout she contested, with only Cynthia Rose posing any real challenge to her. Beca lost every one of hers, mostly by conceding defeat very early, as she prioritised avoiding injury over victory in a ridiculous made up competition. However, she made an exception for her contest against Chloe. Both went hard at each other but Beca was always going to fail against her taller, stronger opponent. Once Chloe had flattened Beca to the floor, they lay there laughing. Chloe instinctively reached a hand over to take hold of Beca's, but Beca batted it away and flashed a quick warning look towards Chloe.

 **oOo**

As they were packing up to leave later in the afternoon, Chloe checked her phone and saw that she had two messages from Ben.

Ben G [14:22] : So? How is it going? How is your Beca strategy working out for you?

Ben G [15:35] : If I don't hear from you soon, I will assume that you and Beca have eloped.

Chloe B [17:10] : Hey! I was able to wait until the 2nd day before trying to jump her bones, but turns out it was the better plan after all. It's all going pretty well I'd say!

Ben G [17:12] : Does 'going pretty well' mean you 2 are figuring stuff out or just that you're having lots of sex?

She chuckled out loud as she read his message. Beca noticed the laugh and she turned to look at Chloe.

Chloe B [17:13] : Tell you all about it when I'm back next week.

Chloe typed the quick reply and put her phone away to give Beca her attention. Beca raised her eyebrows but said nothing, which Chloe read as an expectation for an explanation.

"Ben was texting me, teasing me actually, about you."

"Right. So he knows about me and you?" Beca said. Chloe was mildly anxious that Beca might be upset that their secret had spread further.

"Well, yes. I guess he's the person who told me there was a you and me. He reckons he had it figured out at Amy's wedding."

He had 'it' figured out - but Chloe so far had not. Because she couldn't say what 'it' was; that they were sleeping together or something more.

"Really? I hardly talked to him that night. I really didn't want to know when I thought he was your boyfriend. So you guys are pretty good friends? What's his story then?"

"He was like my mentor when I started teaching. Then when he moved on to his new career, we changed from colleagues to friends."

"Never anything more?" The question from Beca came quickly and naturally, just before any apprehension about knowing the answer.

'No, never anything more Beca. I never felt that kind of energy between us. Besides, he has the biggest broken heart in the world."

"Why do you do it Chloe? Don't you know what you do to people?"

"It's not funny Beca. He's divorced. He got married straight out of college, despite everyone warning them it wouldn't last. But they thought they were one of those lucky couples that had found their soul mates. You know? Then after a few years things just changed. I mean their lives changed, not their feelings. They started wanting different things, they saw two different futures. He thought it was just a part of life and that they would work it out. But I guess she didn't and eventually she left. He's still a bit of a romantic - it didn't make him bitter but he hasn't moved on. He is still single nearly two years after the divorce."

Throughout Chloe's story Beca's smile had faded and she nodded sagely at all the right moments. Though once Chloe finished, the smile reappeared, bigger now than before.

"Really Chloe? It sounds a bit like the plot of a bad romantic film. Are you sure all of that is true?"

"What? Of course it's true, why would I make up something so awful? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sorry Chloe, I thought you were screwing with me," Beca replied, though to Chloe she didn't sound particularly remorseful. Like it was a simple, understandable error. to make. Chloe stormed away back to the bus, ignoring Beca's weak apology. She stuck her headphones in and sat in the back seat to discourage anyone from sitting near her. Fifteen minutes into the journey back to Barden she joined the dots; Beca must have thought the story contained a subtext about them, and that the undertone was that Chloe was the 'lovesick but not giving up' character in their scenario. In which case, what the hell did Beca's dismissive and teasing response mean?

 **oOo**

That night Chloe didn't bring up the earlier incident, which had been the first moment of friction between them since they kissed in the auditorium on the second day. It was on her mind though. Perhaps Beca was feeling contrite about it now, perhaps it meant Beca would be thinking about them in that way too, and that would give Chloe the leverage to push ahead with the discussion she wanted to have.

"Why did we stop talking Beca? Why did we let it all go to shit again?"

There was an expected comfortable silence for a few seconds as Beca prepared to answer.

"I think you already know that I'm really good at blocking things, and feelings, and people, out. I guess I was able to forget what I was feeling after Amy's wedding pretty quickly. Then Alex showed up and so I could push you aside even more because, well, he was there and you weren't. But I know that hurt you, and in the end it hurt Alex too. I didn't fully realise that until I saw you again this week. Not having you around makes it easier to ignore, and to make those decisions."

Beca answer was honest and more open than she would usually venture with anyone, but it wasn't a satisfying response for Chloe.

"You know, I was really surprised that you went through with it that first time. But at Amy's wedding, you came to me, after I had decided to leave you alone forever. You came to me that night Beca," Chloe said.

"But still, even after Amy's I had to assume you weren't interested in anything more. And that was fine, really, I could accept that and move on as friends.

"But then you were really, really weird telling me about some guy you were dating when he came into your life. It seemed like you were coddling me, like you assumed it was breaking my heart or something. And other times, I did feel like you were pushing me away. So you were giving me mixed messages about what I was to you, who I was in your life. I couldn't bear to talk to you then because you wouldn't ever tell me anything real.

"I missed you, the way you had been before.

"And it was such a tease all those nothing messages you sent me after that."

Beca gave reticent nod, but remained silent after Chloe's raw outburst. Chloe was very aware that they still had to talk about what happens next after this week, and that time was starting to run out. She didn't regret what she had just said, even if she had been unfair to lash out about how Beca frustrated her at times. Beca's silent response, while typical and a little frustrating, Chloe also decided to take as an acknowledgement of her past thoughtlessness. So Chloe backed down, willing to give both of them a respite from the topic until the next day.

 **oOo**

The final rehearsal on Saturday morning was a subdued event. Nobody was feeling anxious, even as Emily, channelling Aubrey, explained the precise schedule and fine details of the performance for later that evening. They would be performing as a warm up act before a concert in one of the theatres downtown. They had been told to expect a crowd of a few thousand in the audience. There were no nerves, but as the afternoon progressed, bittersweet emotions surfaced for all of them. They spend the entire afternoon all together, appreciating this last precious day. This longer period of time without being alone with Beca was both a blessing and a curse for Chloe.

As it drew closer to the time to leave for the theatre, their mood started to swing upwards, and continued to rise as they made the short journey into the city and as they waited backstage. It skyrocketed as they performed, and stayed at that level as they went out for dinner and drinks afterwards. It was only on returning to the Bella's house late that night, when the post party depression inevitably settled over them again. Over one last drink they reminisced about college and talked about how awesome the week had been. Another reunion in five years, or ten years, or in fifty years was agreed.

But they all knew this week had been a gift, and that they almost certainly would never get to spend time together like this again.

 **oOo**

Late in the night Beca and Chloe made their way back to the apartment for their last night together. Chloe reached over and took Beca's hand as they walked in near darkness. The atmosphere was different now, heavy with the emotional extremes of the day. Once in the apartment they slowly and quietly climbed into their bed together but they didn't have sex, they just held each other.

"All that talk about college memories and having to say goodbye to everyone tomorrow, it just makes me so sad. Maybe we all need to make a pact in the morning that we will have another reunion next year, just so I can look forward to it and stop feeling like this."

Neither woman could maintain eye contact as Beca spoke the words. Chloe thought she might start to cry, and opted for a tactic that was more Beca's style in this moment - switch to humour.

"Can you imagine? If we all got together in ten years and started reminiscing about this week? 'Hey girls, remember how Beca and I were having sex, like all the time, during the reunion?'" Chloe said.

Beca laughed and picked up the imaginary future reminiscing. "And remember, when Chloe and I hooked up at Cynthia Rose's wedding and it was really, really awkward?"

Her tactic worked, it had relaxed Beca, and it also had emboldened Chloe. She dared further, testing how far could she could push Beca now. Could she still embarrass her with inappropriate sexual disclosures?

"And you know what? That was the first time I went down on Beca. When I touched her, and the way she gasped, I'll never forget it."

Beca stepped up to the challenge, continued the sparring in their hypothetical ten year reunion, trying to match Chloe's game now. "Oh yeah, and you know what else girls? I still make that sound every time Chloe does that to me."

Chloe inhaled sharply. She was not expecting that. And it appeared neither was Beca; she faltered, trying to retract the unguarded utterance.

"I mean, you know, how funny would that be to say all that?"

Chloe heard the panic in Beca's voice and she felt the full force of the uncertainty that she had been keeping at bay for the previous few days. But at that moment, after such an emotional day, she didn't think this was the right time for that discussion. Chloe gave Beca a let off again as she mused.

"I wonder what the girls would think if they knew what was going on. Do you think anyone had figured it out? I think sometimes we were so obvious."

"Well Stacie knows. I mean it's thanks to her we got this apartment." Chloe's gave her an inquisitive look and Beca added "She picked up a few clues along the way. She seems to think it's a great match, you and I."

"Yeah, so do I." It didn't bother Chloe at all if anyone knew, if everyone knew.

Nothing else was said. Beca just kissed Chloe softly and smiled. Chloe final thoughts before sleep took hold were of tomorrow; before they leave, before they say goodbye, they both would be compelled to say something about what happens next.

 **oOo**

"So, these are for you," Emily said as she handed the keys of the Bella's house to Beca. They stood at the front door, where they were joined by last remaining reunion guests. The collection of suitcases and bags placed in the hall earlier in the morning had gradually diminished, during a drawn out succession of goodbyes. Emily rolled her luggage out the door, leaving just three left.

"Just leave the keys with the admin office. I'll be able to collect it from there when I come back to pack up in a few weeks."

"Thanks for this Emily. I'm only sticking around for one more night, and I really don't want to stay at my Dad's place tonight. I'll make sure everything is locked up and cleaned."

Beca closed the door behind Emily, and then turned to face Stacie and Chloe. "It's gonna be weird staying here alone tonight." They both gave her knowing nods.

Without Emily, the house suddenly felt noticeably quieter and more tense. Three of the four people who knew about Beca and Chloe's relationship were in this room now. After they all exchanged nervous smiles and glances for a few moments, Stacie muttered something inaudibly and left the room heading toward her bag and the door.

"Right, so, I think I'll get going too. Beca, walk me to my car?"

"Sure," Beca agreed with forced enthusiasm. The two didn't speak until they were well out of earshot of Chloe, half way down the driveway to Stacie's car.

Chloe peeked out the window and watched the exchange between them, but she couldn't interpret what was going on. Stacie had one hand on Beca's shoulder and she appeared to be delivering a pep talk while Beca was nodding obediently. When Beca turned back towards the house, Chloe dived back onto the sofa, picked up a magazine and opened it at a random page.

 **oOo**

"What did Stacie have to say?" Chloe asked when Beca entered the room. Chloe didn't look up from the magazine which she was pretending to be browsing through.

"She just wanted to give me the talk about safe sex."

Chloe laughed a little, but put the magazine down and continued with a more demanding plea. "Come on, Beca."

"Ok, obviously she wanted to find out how things went this week, and she asked if she still has to keep this a secret." Beca didn't elaborate with the answers she gave Stacie to her questions.

"She also asked if we know what we are going to do now."

Chloe was a little disappointed, though not surprised, that Beca hadn't continued, that she only relayed Stacie's questions. She would prefer it if Beca just said what she was thinking, without Chloe having to drag it out of her. But Chloe had to consider that maybe Beca's behaviour right now was because there was an imbalance in their feelings for each other. Or, as Ben had warned, a imbalance in what they would each be prepared to do about those feelings, even if they were the same. It was plausible that Beca was holding back now because she was preparing to say something that would hurt. That the whole week Beca hadn't been thinking about what happens next like Chloe was, and now in the moment of crisis she was going to take the path of least resistance again, the path back to LA where Chloe was not in her life.

"So, what time is your flight, exactly?" Beca asked after too many seconds of silence.

"I've got a couple of hours until I need to leave," Chloe replied. She looked at Beca trying to force her to steer the next part of the conversation.

"Maybe we could go out somewhere, to talk maybe, maybe we could ..." Beca began, but stalled as she clearly had no actual suggestion for where they could go. Her body showed she was getting more anxious; shifting her weight from one foot to the other and taking furtive glances at Chloe, afraid to hold her stare too long.

"Or we could just stay her for the afternoon?" Chloe replied with a seductive smile. She just couldn't help it; she still adored Beca's quirky mannerisms and her inability to control them when she was nervous. Beca was rendered defenceless as Chloe took her hand and started to lead her up the stairs. Chloe reasoned that they still had a couple of hours. However, she knew that she was also evading her own fears about the conversation that should be happening now.

 **oOo**

When Chloe woke up later in Beca's arms, for a brief moment she thought she had never felt more content. She loved waking up this way, with Beca dozing next to her. She surveyed Emily's room; a typical, disorganised student's bedroom. Her old room. She thought about how different her life was now compared to when this was how she lived. Among the clutter on the study desk her gaze was drawn to a familiar photo, the same one she keeps on the hall table in her apartment in New York. She looks at that photo of her friends, the ICCA world champions on stage in Copenhagen, almost every day. The mixed emotions that she was experiencing when it was taken seemed trivial compared to now. Her eyes continued roving around the room and stopped abruptly when they fell on the clock on the wall.

"Fuck, we fell asleep Beca! I'm going to be late, I have to get to the airport in, like twenty minutes. Beca wake up, I have to go."

Chloe leaped out of bed and dressed quickly, while continuing to plead with Beca to do the same. Five minutes flew by in confusion as Beca struggled to adjust to what was happening while Chloe rushed to get out the door and go.

Chloe raced down the driveway and got behind the wheel of her car, while Beca, who was still not fully alert, shuffled out the door behind her. Chloe turned the ignition and started pulling away from the kerb. It wasn't right - she couldn't leave like this. She braked, and cocked her head out the window to look back at Beca. Her half smile betrayed her sadness, her confusion, her regret. She paused for a moment and then said "I love you, Beca Mitchell." She pulled her head back into the car immediately, pressed her foot to the accelerator and drove away before Beca had a chance to respond.

 **oOo**


	12. Reunion - Part 6

Chloe's thoughts were exploding inside her head as she sped to the airport. What had she just done?

Chloe had always been totally comfortable telling her friends that she loves them - including Beca, and she says it frequently. Everybody around her knows she is like that. But this time was obviously different, and Beca must have recognised that. Clearly this wasn't just friendship anymore, and it was more than just sex now, more than experimenting with a friend. But they never got around to naming what it was, and that was going to leave both of them second guessing. Especially now as they took off in different directions to opposite ends of the country.

One way Chloe looked at what she had just done, was that it was like saying 'I love you' to someone one week into a new relationship, and that was not usually a good way to entice someone to stick around. Saying it to Beca was definitely a huge risk, as she was blatantly the type that would tend to bolt at that point. But then again, this was different - they had history. It shouldn't have been that big a surprise to Beca to hear Chloe say those words.

Chloe was desperate to know what Beca was thinking right at that moment. She wished she had time to turn the car around and confront her, lay it all out and get a simple, definitive yes or no decision on the possibility of a future together. In hindsight that's what she should have done two hours ago, instead of taking Beca to bed again. She checked the clock on the car's console - maybe there was still time. She felt an urgency about it. Once she got on the plane it would mean the end of this latest episode in their seesawing history and the energy would shift, the momentum would slow down. She hoped she might be able to phone Beca if she had a moment before boarding the plane, and if she could rein in all her radiating thoughts.

At the airport she took out her phone once - to turn it off. The boarding queue at the airport was not the place for that conversation with Beca. Stepping into the cabin, her thoughts were still spiralling and they would continue to do so for a long time.

 **oOoOo**

Beca watched Chloe's car disappear down the road and around the corner. She stood motionless, and a little dazed, on the pavement while the sound of the engine faded. A few minutes passed and she still hadn't moved, as though she was waiting for something else to happen, for the car to return maybe, but there was only silence. She pulled out her phone and started typing.

Beca M [16:20] : I love you too Chloe Beale

She stared at her words on the tiny screen, terrified by their gravity, and she couldn't press the send key. Although Chloe says "I love you" to her friends all the time, Beca understood that she meant more this time, that she was really saying 'I am in love with you, Beca Mitchell'. Beca rarely says those three words to anyone, so it feels huge when she does. If she was going to say it for the first time to someone, it shouldn't be like this, and not via a text message, and not while that person was leaving and heading in the opposite direction to her. She retyped the message.

Beca M [16:25] : luv ya too, Red

It was casual which she thought was better for now. She again delayed and reconsidered before sending, and saw that it wasn't right at all. It was far too vague for Chloe to interpret. In fact, it was a ridiculous thing to write after the week they had spent together. Plus she never called Chloe "Red".

She typed and saved several more messages for Chloe but none of them seemed to say what she wanted, quite how she wanted. She scrolled through and reread all the drafts but couldn't commit to sending any one of them. She saw the timestamp on the first unsent draft and realised she has spend nearly ten minutes working on this single message. She gave up, she had over-thought it now. She put her phone in her pocket with a sigh.

"Are you alright, Miss?"

Beca turned to see a woman standing a few meters from her. Beca had been so unaware of her surroundings that she never heard or saw the woman approach, and had no idea how long she had been there. The woman was wearing a uniform with "Barden University Security" written over the college crest on her shirt.

"Oh. Sorry? What?" Beca responded, still lost in her thoughts of Chloe.

"Are you Ok? It's just, you've been here for quite a while."

"Oh yeah, I 'm fine. I'm just, eh, waiting, for someone." She had to make something up, there was no reasonable explanation to be standing there like a statue for ten minutes, and it probably looked a little suspicious.

"Was that your girlfriend that drove off earlier?" The words completely disarmed Beca. One word in particular.

"Yeah. I mean, no. I don't know. It's complicated, I guess."

"It always is, am I right honey?" She quipped, drawing the beginnings of a smile from Beca. "Come on, it doesn't look like she's coming back anytime soon and you can't stay out here all day."

Beca began the short walk back to the front door of the house while the security guard turned to continue patrolling her beat. Beca was dazed again, thinking about how easily the woman had made that assumption about who Chloe was. There must be something about the way she and Chloe act around each other that would cause a stranger to call them a couple.

"Why did you think she was my girlfriend?" Beca called after her.

Without turning around, the woman raised both hands at waved them about on either side of her head. "Bed head," she replied, "she had it too."

Beca took stock of her current appearance. Her hair was dishevelled, her shirt was crumpled and her face probably still looked like she'd just woken up. And Beca just laughed out loud.

 **oOo**

Beca's relationship with her father had improved a lot since her time as a student, but she never treated him as a confidant, and he understood not to push for anything from her beyond what she was willing to offer. When she went to visit him at his home later that day, she hoped that time with him would provide a distraction. But thoughts about Chloe were pervasive, disrupting every topic of conversation he tried to initiate. She was so obviously preoccupied that she couldn't blame him for addressing it.

"Is everything alright Beca?" He finally asked after she had spent half an hour conversing mostly in monosyllables.

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry, I'm just really tired. It's been a full week and a lot of late nights."

It was easy to hide behind the end of the Bellas' reunion week as an excuse for her low spirits. It wasn't incorrect, just nowhere near the whole truth. He accepted it, there was no reason for him to assume anything else was going on with his daughter.

"You know, I went to see you guys perform last night."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to be embarrassed by your old man while you were with your friends, and I knew you were coming to visit me today anyway.

"It was really fantastic Beca, as good as anything you guys did back in college. And you all, well I assume it was just you and, oh what's her name? The redhead?"

"Chloe," Beca stuttered out the word, surprised by the difficulty she had in just saying her name now.

"Chloe. You and Chloe got all of that prepared in less than a week? It was really impressive, Beca."

"Chloe and I know what we are doing." She almost laughed in self-derision at the words as she heard herself saying them in this different context. Irony was not lost on her, though her father clearly wouldn't understand the hidden significance. If he saw it, he didn't react to the bemused look on her face.

"I mean, it's kind of like what I do for a living, and Chloe, well she still completely loves A Capella and The Bellas."

"Does Chloe still live in the area? I used to see her around from time to time."

"No, she moved to New York. She went back to study, again, and then started teaching. You know, when she graduated from here, she didn't know what she was going to do and now she has a really fulfilling career. It's great to see her so happy and passionate about her work. She's just extraordinary really and I ..." Beca stopped herself, realising she was gushing about Chloe, to her father. And it was the most she had said all evening. She salvaged her cool demeanour behind a fake yawn.

"You guys were really close friends in college, weren't you? It must have been hard saying goodbye again today?"

It was unbelievably hard watching Chloe leave. It was heartbreaking. But she didn't want to have this conversation with her father, and she didn't want to lie about Chloe. She never wanted to lie about Chloe again. Beca kept her hand over her mouth, covering more fake yawns which also served to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill.

"Yeah, yeah it wasn't easy. Sorry Dad, I'm just exhausted; I think I'm going to have to go. Is that OK? I'll call you when I get back to LA."

 **oOo**

When she got back to the house, her senses centred on the silence and emptiness. It was almost unbearable being there alone. She checked the time and knew that Chloe was probably home at her apartment in New York. She could phone her. But perhaps it wasn't a good idea to call right now. It would be better to sleep on it, and let them both adjust to being apart. Besides, Beca was afraid that feeling so vulnerable now, she would say things that she couldn't follow through.

She climbed back into the bed in Emily's room where she was met by Chloe's lingering scent. It amplified her heartache but it also intoxicated her. She couldn't untangle herself from its hold. She slept fitfully, and she dreamed of Chloe all night, both in her waking and her sleeping.


	13. Reaction - Part 1

Chloe Beale led a busy life in New York. She made a big commitment to her work and with a wide circle of friends, she always crammed as much as possible into her weekends. The weeks leading up to the Bellas' reunion had been an especially hectic time in her life, with Beca monopolising her thoughts and with the end of term being a crazy period at work. For so long she had been counting down the days to the reunion, that nothing beyond that date had been on her radar.

When she arrived back home after the reunion, she realised that with no work commitments, her schedule was suddenly unusually light. Many of her friends were teachers who were now away on vacation, while others had regular nine to five jobs and wouldn't be available until the weekend. By Tuesday afternoon, after less than two days of almost complete solitude, and no contact from Beca yet, cabin fever was setting in.

Chloe B [14.08] : Are you free to meet for a drink after work tonight?

Ben G [14:12] : Definitely! Can't wait to hear all the salacious details of your week in Atlanta!

This was likely to be a more sombre conversation than the one both of them would have anticipated after the messages the exchanged less than a week earlier, so Chloe didn't respond to his banter. She just sent details for a time and place to meet later.

 **oOo**

"So?" Ben said as soon as he saw her. She was also happy to omit the usual greetings and small talk.

"It was so great Ben, but then I did this maybe, really stupid thing and now I'm not certain what's happening between us anymore."

He didn't interrupt the silence that followed as Chloe led them to a table in the bar. Chloe was preparing for her confession.

"So I told her that I loved her and I think it might have scared her off," Chloe said.

"Why? What happened? How did she respond when you said it?"

Ben typically offered Chloe advice through a facetious analysis of her messed up thought processes. This approach was different - more direct, but also undemanding and without judgement.

"Well here's a bit more of my stupid. I don't know how she reacted because I took off. I was literally in the car speeding to the airport when I said it."

"That was the last thing you said to her? Did you guys talk about when things were going before then?" Again it didn't feel like criticism, he asked as though there was no assumption that they would have talked, or that they should have. As though it were no cause for panic.

"I was really in a hurry - I was running late to catch my flight. But also, the week just went by in a blur, and we wasted so much time when we should have been talking. I panicked, I had to say something, and I wanted to say it to her. I wanted her to know that's how I feel, but I didn't want to make her feel she had to say it back if she wasn't ready."

"You really think she wouldn't have said it back?" There was a assumption there this time.

"Yeah, it's possible. There were plenty of times I could see she was withdrawing from the conversation, when I was trying to talk about us. You don't know her Ben. And I know her track record; she's very cautious about getting into relationships, and this one would be extra crazy."

"But you can't know for sure if you never actually gave her the chance to tell you what she wants."

Chloe shrugged her shoulders "I suppose, maybe."

"Do I need to ask how you wasted so much time?"

"It was just so good with her and I didn't want to ruin it." Chloe smirked initially but then continued more gravely. "But when we talked, I'd push her a little and she'd clam up or crack jokes or initiate sex, and so I'd back off for a while. Then we ran out of time. The last day was so strange, and we jumped into bed again instead of talking."

Ben leaned forward and grinned at her.

"Ok, I initiated that. I was beginning to worry that she wasn't ready to go all in with me, and I never get that sense from her when we have sex. And at that moment I would have preferred not to know, if she was going to reject me."

"I think you should just call her." His voice was reassuring, like he knew it would all work out, like it was a simple fix and Chloe was just overreacting.

"But still, I said 'I love you', I know it might have been too much too soon, but it's in Beca's court now, right? She should call me."

"Again, I suggest you just call her. I mean, you know her and so how long are you willing to wait for her to call you?"

Chloe sighed and put her face in her hands, "Fuck. I should have forced the conversation while we were there. What if this goes the way things did after the last time, both last times, we were together? I should call her, right? Ok, I'll call her tonight. Or I'll send her a text."

"Yes you should. When I see you on Sunday, you'll be all smiles and back to the loved-up version of Chloe."

 **oOoOo**

Beca had figured out what she wanted very quickly. She wanted to be with Chloe, she wanted to tell her that she loved her too, but she also wanted something concrete to be able to offer Chloe. She had to have that first.

When she had woken up alone in the Bella's house on that Monday morning, she knew that being apart from Chloe would no longer allow her to dismiss what she felt. This time she wouldn't get used to being without Chloe.

Figuring out how to get what she wanted was more problematic. The issue for Beca was now a logistical one, specifically the physical distance that separated them. Throughout the day, during her journey home to LA and late into that night she considered the options. Her first step would have to be talking to her employers.

When she got into work early the next morning she booked a meeting in the first available slot in her boss's schedule for later that day. After three years she had forged a good working relationship with him, but he still always had an intimidating presence that occasionally made her cower. She knew her place in the hierarchy. This discussion was new territory and she needed to word it carefully, neither cocky nor apologetic. In the meeting invitation email she explained -

"David,

I'd be very interested in getting involved in any upcoming projects based in New York. Can we discuss opportunities both short and long term?

Thanks,

Beca"

Two hours later she got a response. He had declined the invitation with a short message.

"I'm too busy in the next few days, please reschedule for Friday"

She threw a pen across her desk in frustration once she read his response. He often did this, meetings got cancelled or postponed multiple times and everything ran to a last minute schedule. Talking about her long term career opportunities was not going to be high on his list of priorities. She simply had no control now and had to wait.

If her boss could give her at least a verbal assurance on Friday that she could get to New York regularly, then she would only have to keep Chloe in the dark until then. It was already Tuesday and they hadn't spoken or texted since their unsatisfying goodbye on Sunday afternoon.

 **oOo**

Chloe sent the first message between them that evening. The intention of the replies Beca sent over the next few days, while waiting for her meeting to take place, was to communicate that she wanted them to be together, but that it would take time to make it happen. Chloe just needed to be patient a little longer, but soon she would see that she meant everything to Beca. She still wouldn't write 'I love you' in a text message and she wouldn't phone and say it yet either. It had to be a positive moment when she said it, not an 'I love you but ...' moment.

Fortunately David did not reschedule and was able to attend their meeting on Friday. He breezed in five minutes late, skipped past any salutations and started into the discussion before he had even sat down.

"So you are interested in working further afield?"

Beca couldn't detect whether he was open to it or about to shut her down. But he had agreed to the meeting so there must be a possibility. She wasn't nervous and she spoke with the determination that had been steadily building over the previous days. She had to make this happen, otherwise what hope was there for her future together with Chloe?

"I'll be honest where this is coming from. My girlfriend lives in New York and I want to be able to see her more often. But at the same time I know it would be good for my career if I am willing to travel regularly, and there is plenty going on in New York. It would give me different opportunities and more experience. What do you think?"

"Look. We value your work here and I want to help you. But to be honest Beca, that won't make your job any easier."

"Ok, just tell me what the options are."

"Of course you could just resign from here and you would be able to get a job there within a few months. I don't really want you to do that but I can put you in touch with some contacts that could help you get set up there."

"No, I'm not going to leave, I enjoy working here. Also I really like living in LA and I'm not ready to move just yet."

"Good to hear. Ok, so you probably know that we don't have offices or facilities in New York, but there are other studios that we often collaborate with. We can discuss options with them, but it might take time to get an agreement in place. You'd have to meet them, show them how good you are and even then it would probably only go on ahead on a trial basis for the first few months. We, and by 'we' I mean 'you', would have to manage your schedule, what you are working on and who you are working with, very meticulously. You will need to be able to work around artists' and technicians' schedules and deadlines in both locations."

"That's what I want. I want to split my work across both locations, so can we start that discussion with the people in New York?"

"Yes we can Beca. I'll call them on Monday."

He was relaxed and he nodded as he committed to making the call. He didn't seem as intimidating now. Her confident approach seemed to have made an impression on him, but this new information meant she still had to keep Chloe waiting until at least Monday, and probably longer.

"Thanks David. I appreciate it."

He talked a little about the current and future projects in New York. He explained how some of the other LA based producers were able to work across the two locations, and he offered to put her in contact with them. After a few minutes he checked his watch and stood up to leave, and end the meeting. Beca then remembered her other request.

"Oh, there is another thing; I'd like another week off as soon as possible."

"Don't ask for much do you? Beca, you know there is just too much on at the moment, but I'll check what's coming up in the next two or three months and see where there might be a lull."

"I can't wait two or three months!" She blurted out, then immediately regretted it. Of course he had seen the awkward, nervous side of Beca many times, but she had never before bluntly demanded what she wanted. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, that was really unprofessional. I mean, whenever it's possible, or maybe just a long weekend instead?"

But he just laughed.

"Ok, I'll do what I can," he said as he left the room.

 **oOo**

When Ben and Chloe met the next Sunday she was not smiling and she was not loved-up. She was somewhere between irate and disappointed.

"Did you call her? What happened?" Ben asked urgently, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I texted her. Let me share with you the conversation we had this week."

She took her phone from her bag, and began reading the series of messages which she and Beca had exchanged that week. She read her own messages in a light sing-song voice and she read Beca's acerbically, stressing the words that were most irritating to her.

"On Tuesday night I texted her this; 'Hope I didn't freak you out on Sunday. Call me. xx' and she replied 'No, you didn't. We'll talk soon, ok?'

"She didn't call me that night, but it was late, so, whatever. But she didn't call the next day either. I didn't want to be too pushy so I sent another message and just said; 'Hey, why haven't I heard from you?'

"She replied pretty quickly but this is what she wrote; 'Sorry, sorry, sorry! I'm getting this figured out – PLEASE just a little more time'

"So I wrote back 'Just call me. xx' I didn't hear from her again until the next day, when I got this; 'I know this is frustrating, but there is something I have to resolve first. Please be patient, I hope you understand'

"That was on Friday. I haven't heard anything from her since," Chloe concluded. She was not going to willingly address the 'texting instead of calling' nature of their interaction that week. It was on Beca to change that.

"I have no idea what she's really trying to tell you in those messages, but if she was going to reject you, wouldn't she have done it already?"

"That's not helpful."

"Right, sorry. But you know Chloe, you shouldn't have to wait around for anyone to decide if they love you or not. Call her, confront her."

"She said 'give me time'. I'm not going to beg her."

"And if another week goes by? Another month? Then what?"

Chloe didn't reply. She knew what it was to wait and wait for Beca - she was quite experienced at that, and she couldn't go on doing it indefinitely. She needed to put a time limit on this absurd game she and Beca were playing.

"Just give her a call," Ben repeated.


	14. Reaction - Part 2

After the meeting with David, Beca was restless and her suffering increased daily as nothing was happening. David had made the call as promised on the following Monday to initiate the discussions, but a meeting with New York kept getting delayed, as the required decision-makers were unavailable or not yet identified. She checked with David for updates several times during the week, and he was always still waiting for a call back from someone in New York.

The week dragged on. By Friday afternoon, Beca wasn't a single step closer to New York. And by that time she hadn't spoken to Chloe in almost two weeks. She had too easily established daily texts as her way to sustain her message of 'we're getting there'.

Beca M [19.12] : Sorry Chloe. I want us to be together too but it looks like it will take a little longer that I'd hoped. Just give me a little more time.

Beca M [18.05] : There are things that are out of my control - incredibly frustrating

Beca M [18.05] : I'm going to try to get it all resolved next week. We shouldn't have to wait much longer.

Chloe would understand. During the retreat, she had been so patient with Beca even though it was the antithesis of Chloe's personality. Chloe, despite preferring directness, doesn't pressure her. It was the same now - that's how Beca interpreted Chloe's bare responses to her texts.

Beca was focused on that eventual happy outcome, and she knew Chloe would love the surprise. She was a sucker for a grand gesture of love, and coming from a cynic like Beca, it couldn't fail.

 **oOoOo**

Chloe spent the first few days of her second week back in New York trying to ignore the sick feeling inside, and the cause of it. But by the weekend she was starting to face it. It was looking likely that she was going to get her heart broken, and she should have known. She should have made better decisions two weeks earlier. Beca still had not called, nor had she said anything significant via text.

She met Ben as usual on Sunday, marking two weeks since the reunion ended. She was definitely still not loved-up or full of smiles. Before he could ask about Beca she jumped in to speak first.

"Ben, can we talk about overseas volunteer roles for me this summer?" The topic had never been mentioned since she'd returned from the reunion, until two days ago it had been low priority compared to her main focus.

"Really Chloe, now?" She anticipated Ben would be surprised by the request, but not this show of exasperation.

"It's too late anyway. It would take a few weeks to get the on-boarding done and there is a minimum three month commitment expected. You wouldn't have enough time before you would need to return to work. But more importantly, let's talk about you and Beca."

She wasn't trying to avoid the subject of Beca - with Ben that would be impossible anyway, and it was obviously the driver for the idea of volunteering now.

"I've been thinking about quitting for a while, even before the reunion. You've always been banging on about what a great career move this would be for me, so why not now?"

"I never suggested quitting your job, and your timing is pretty interesting Chloe."

"My timing is perfect Ben. You were right - I shouldn't wait around for her to make up her mind if she's in love with me too. It's been two weeks and all I get from her is texts asking me to wait. Beca wants more time so maybe if I'm gone for a few months that will be enough for her to figure it out."

"So you're testing her?"

Chloe didn't see it as testing Beca, she just had to measure how their relationship had expanded. Beca had said that she forgets about her feelings for Chloe when she's was not around, so Chloe needed to find out how much that had changed after what happened between them during the reunion. Or know that it hadn't changed at all.

"No that's not it Ben. I just can't spend the next six months checking my phone every day for some contact from her, and watch as she starts sending fewer and fewer messages and with her getting more and more distant. I can't do that again."

"I still don't get why you won't just call her. That's what I meant about not waiting."

"Because it's always me that calls her first, it's always me initiating the conversation. It's her turn to make the next move."

"And you're sure you're not testing her?"

"I would just really like it if she could make the effort this time. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture – a phone call would be enough right now."

"What I'm hearing is that you haven't completely given up - there is still a chance, right? All she has to do is call you." She had hoped for more support from him, that he would see it the same way she did, not that he would challenge her or force her to consider she might be making a mistake.

"Beca doesn't call when things are tricky, she texts. So actually a call from her this week could be considered a grand gesture. It's very unlikely."

"But there is still a chance, right?" He said smiling, still challenging her.

"If I say 'maybe' can we talk about the volunteering?" It annoyed her that he'd got her to admit to 'maybe' in under five minutes, and that he was being a bit smug about it.

"Ok, sure we can Chloe." He explained the details, locations and prerequisites for participating in the volunteer program as though she were any other candidate. He answered all her questions earnestly. He didn't mention Beca's name once during the quarter hour they spent working out which project would suit Chloe best.

As the discussion was wrapping up she asked, "One last question, would I have to stay here in New York until the on-boarding is complete?"

"I'm not sure. I'll check with the team tomorrow and call you."

She picked up the menu and ignored how he continued looking at her.

"So, are you going to tell Beca if you do this?" he asked.

"If she calls me I will. Otherwise no I'm not. If she wants to know what's going on in my life she should ask me.

"I wonder how long it will take before she even notices that I'm gone."

"Chloe, ..." he started to say. She wasn't interested in his pleading or the unwanted advice that was sure to follow. She was allowed to be a bit stubborn after what Beca had been putting her through for the past two weeks.

"Can we just order now, and change the subject please?"

 **oOoOo**

The day of the initial conference call between Beca and all the relevant personnel at the collaborating studio in New York finally came around. Beca had anxiously counted the days that were passing since she had seen or talked to Chloe. This has already taken too long.

As soon as the meeting ended, Beca turned to David, "What happens next? And how long will it take?" she asked.

"They will call me to indicate if they are interested in proceeding further. And I think they probably will Beca. From there, we will work out the details of the contract."

"But once they say they are interested, that's a go, right? And when do you expect them to call you?" She didn't care that she wasn't able to control her agitation.

"Well, yes, in theory. But be aware that things can collapse at the negotiating stage, so if I were you I wouldn't go making any promises to your girlfriend until you see a contract."

She was surprised by his familiarity, not only for referring to her girlfriend but also his curiously appropriate advice about making promises. She didn't realise immediately how she was the one who had changed the dynamic between them. He dropped by her desk a few hours later to let her know they had already called back and although it was unofficial at this point, and details still had to be finalised, she would almost certainly be going to New York.

The second he walked away, she pulled out her phone and texted Chloe.

Beca M [17.12] : I am this close to some very big news! Finally! I promise I will call you in the next few days.

She wouldn't say more, though it was killing her. It would have to placate Chloe a little longer as she was sticking to David's advice to wait for a signed contract. She saw that her text message had been seen, but Chloe didn't reply.

She and David both called and pressed daily for a contract to be finalised. She signed it a few days later in the knowledge that initially she should be able to get to New York at least once a month for several days each time. When she also got a few days leave approved for the following week, she finally felt relieved, and then overwhelmed with happiness as she realised what this meant for her and Chloe's future together.

Beca was aware that the way they had communicated since the reunion had been odd. She couldn't ignore the fact that they hadn't talked at all, and Chloe hadn't replied to her recent messages. Overriding that though, was how excited she was about sharing this news with Chloe now that it was confirmed. And she had to be there to see Chloe's face when she tells her about her new contract and working in New York. And when she tells Chloe that she loves her.

After the last two weeks she had to go big to make it up to Chloe so she hooked onto the idea of a surprise visit to New York. For that, she was going to need some help.

All she knew about Ben was his first name and that he worked for an NGO in the field of education. It only took an hour of searching the internet for matching organisations based in New York, and eventually she found a profile for a Ben Graham on the website of one of the organisations. There was a picture which she recognised was definitely him, and a short text about his career, which Beca read in the vain hope that it would give her some insight into how to talk to him. Though unprepared, she dialled the number under his profile.

"Welcome to LFA International, my name is Andrea, how may I direct your call?" The receptionist asked robotically.

"Could I speak to Ben Graham, please?"

"Certainly, may I ask who is calling?" Her polite language didn't match her bored monotone.

Beca was suddenly anxious to give her name, given the nature of the call and her uncertainty about how he would react to it.

"Oh, he won't know me, I got his name from a friend, I wanted to talk about ... um ..."

"Just a name is fine." Andrea interrupted impatiently.

"Sorry. My name's Becky."

Andrea didn't reply. There was just a click on the line, followed by a pause of a few seconds.

"Ben Graham speaking."

"Hi. Ben. This is Beca Mitchell. We met at a wedding last year. You were there with Chloe Beale."

After a few seconds of silence he replied, "Yeah, I know who you are."

Beca was not deflated by his lack of enthusiasm, but it was going to be awkward talking about Chloe with him. She didn't know how much Chloe has shared with him, but he almost certainly knew a lot more about what had been going on in Chloe's head recently.

"Right. Well, I guess you know about me and Chloe and, all that."

"Yeah Beca, I know. Why are you calling me?"

"So I need your help with something."

"Really?" he replied. She ignored his dismissive tone. She would win him over, and then she would win Chloe over.

"I'm coming to New York this weekend and I want to make it a surprise for Chloe. Could you distract her and make sure she doesn't make other plans?" She continued.

"Where the hell have you been for the last few weeks, Beca?"

"I know, I know. It just took a little longer than I expected."

"And you assumed she would wait? She doesn't want to hear from you. No, I'm not getting involved in this."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, just, you've left it too late Beca. Look I have to go."

"No listen, I have so much to tell her and I know we can work it out now," she said.

"You should have done something weeks ago." He didn't sound angry now, just jaded. Before ending the call, he finally said "I am sorry Beca."

Beca felt numb as she heard the dial tone of someone hanging up on her. She had not anticipated it going quite so badly. Why wouldn't he help her? She reassessed what she knew of Ben, trying to find an explanation. According to the story Chloe told, he hadn't dated since his divorce. But perhaps he had moved on, to Chloe. And now he had his opportunity to swoop in and pursue her while she was confused and vulnerable over Beca.

Beca was disasterising again and her theory just didn't make sense. Chloe said there was never anything else between them. And that he thought she and Beca made a good couple. Beca was jealous of Ben, but not because he was a rival for Chloe's love. She envied the friendship they had. He knew about Chloe's parting words in Atlanta, and that Beca hadn't yet fully acknowledged or reciprocated them. He must know about all of that. He would have been privy to exactly what Chloe thought about everything that happened at the reunion and everything since. Beca wanted to be included in that.

So accepting that there was truth in what he said, then Beca had been wearing blinders - Chloe hadn't been being patient or giving her time. Beca may have misjudged that, but once Chloe learned why Beca needed that time and the outcomes of her efforts, it would change her mind.

Beca had to discard the surprise visit idea. She needed to tell Chloe all of it right away. No more waiting. But calling Chloe's number felt so foreign now plus she didn't know if she could hold her nerve and convince Chloe to listen to her. After all those pleading texts, Chloe might not hear Beca out either, and cut her off just like Ben had. So Beca chose to put it all in writing, with more text messages.

As she started typing, the messaging app told her that ''Chloe Beale is offline". She could write everything without interruption, and then wait for Chloe to respond when she had absorbed it all.

Beca M [10:45] : Chloe, I want you to know what's been going on since we said goodbye in Atlanta

Beca M [10:47] : After I watched you drive away I typed 2 different messages to send you but I couldn't decide which to send. So I'm going to send you both now (Actually I wrote about 20, these were the final 2 options)

Beca M [10:50] : The 1st was - This week has been so special, I wish we could be together

Beca M [10:51] : And the 2nd was - I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Beca M [10:54] : I think you are probably a bit upset with me right now for leaving it so long. I am sorry. You know how I have to figure everything out on my own

Beca M [10:55] : The truth is my heart was breaking, being away from you. That week wasn't enough but I couldn't promise you anything more

Beca M [10:56] : So I've been trying to find a way for us

Beca M [10:56] : And I did!

Beca M [10:57] : I am coming to New York next weekend to see you. We have to talk about us while I'm there

Beca M [10:57] : And I will be coming to New York a lot in the future

Beca M [11:02] : Here's what took me so long - I was negotiating a new contract so that I can take on work regularly in New York too. It will probably be a once or twice a month for now, but I can renegotiate in the future

Beca M [11:03] : It's not a marriage proposal but it is a commitment

Beca M [11:03] : And one other thing, in case it wasn't clear...

Beca M [11:04] : I love you too Chloe Beale. I'm in love with you.


	15. Reaction - Part 3

When Beca finished typing those last words 'I love you too Chloe Beale. I'm in love with you', her anxiety completely disappeared. She was giddy, and she was now desperate for Chloe to read her messages as soon as possible. She obsessively checked her phone all afternoon and evening but her messages remained unseen. When she woke the following morning, the status was unchanged.

It seemed unlikely that Chloe wouldn't check her phone for twenty four hours, unless she was away somewhere with no signal. Beca was unable to wait any longer. She tried calling the number but it was unavailable and the call didn't go to voicemail. She allowed a few more tension filled hours to pass without any response from Chloe, and the whole time Ben's words 'she's doesn't want to hear from you', were echoing in her head. She had no other connection to Chloe in New York. She would have to call Ben again, and deal with that frosty receptionist again too.

"Welcome to LFA International, my name is Andrea, how may I direct your call?"

"Good morning Andrea. Beca Mitchell calling for Ben Graham."

Andrea gave a friendly 'thank you' before connecting the call. Beca noted her change in attitude or perhaps she just appreciated a succinct interaction. In any case it was already a better start than the last time.

"Hi Beca. I thought I might hear from you again." He didn't sound so unfriendly or hostile this time.

"Ben, please. Can you just tell me what's going on? Her number seems to be disconnected. Where is she?"

Ben sighed. He was clearly torn; she was challenging his loyalty to Chloe.

"Ok, Beca. Her phone is disconnected because she's not in the country right now. That's what I meant."

"Oh, Ok. But she'll be back for work at the start of term?"

"No, she won't be back by then, but she will be back. She doesn't work to the school year schedule anymore."

"She quit her job?" Beca asked.

"She's looking at other options, and trying some volunteer work," he said slowly and deliberately.

"Right, I understand. So, when will she get back?"

"Beca, I can't."

"Well, suppose I was just an interested caller requesting information about your overseas opportunities. What current projects are you working on? How long are the assignments? When does the current one finish?"

She heard him inhale sharply but he didn't speak immediately.

"I guess I can just call again and ask the lovely Andrea if I can speak to someone else," Beca added.

"Alright, alright, I'll save you the time. The project you are interested in ongoing. We have a number of people working on the ground in Cambodia at the moment and they are scheduled to return to the US on October 15th."

"That's months away. Maybe I could email her?"

"Just wait for her to get back Beca. Because of what you've done, Chloe wants time to figure it out too." His tone was growing colder, she couldn't push any further and they would end up arguing if she stayed on the line. That "what you've done" comment had fired her up.

"Ok. Thanks again, Ben." She intended that would end the conversation so it surprised her when he continued.

"Yeah, Ok. Look, I hope, maybe you guys can work it out."

"I really think we can," Beca said and hung up.

Beca understood that Ben couldn't say too much about things said in confidence between him and Chloe. So she couldn't be certain how much Chloe's decision to go overseas was due to the aftermath of their time together at the reunion and how much career opportunity contributed to it. Beca knew she had been considering it before. But Beca's minimal communications could have felt like rejection to Chloe and she ran away.

Beca refused to disasterise anymore. In fact she did the opposite; she made a list of the things that proved to her that it can't go wrong again. Number one, Chloe loves her. Number two, she loves Chloe. Number three, she found a way to overcome their long distance problem. Number four, she was the one who was making it happen, she was showing Chloe that she was all in now.

After everything that had happened between them and all she'd done recently, she refused to believe that it wouldn't be enough, that she'd risked her heart like this to get it broken.

The next few months of waiting were going to be difficult, but in reality after the years they had already spent waiting, or wasting time, or making bad choices, another few months would be nothing.

 **oOo**

On her return to LA after her first trip to New York, David sought out Beca to ask how it had gone. She launched into a lengthy monologue covering every detail about the work she had completed while away. He smiled and interrupted.

"I know that you know how to do your job Beca. But you still had time to relax and spend with your girlfriend?"

She hesitated, unable to lie but not willing to tell the whole truth either. "It was a good trip", she replied professionally.

It was also a trip that meant working harder and longer hours than she had ever done previously and it was costing her money. Most painfully, it had been a very lonely trip.

Beca had to make five more trips to New York in those waiting months before Chloe's expected return date. On each occasion she secretly booked a hotel, as it had been assumed by her employers that she would be staying with her girlfriend. Beca was not about to admit that she had made a bold assumption when she used that word to describe their relationship and she definitely couldn't reveal that she had no idea where that person was at the time.

By early September she was growing accustomed to her more demanding schedule. She was getting broader opportunities and expanding her professional network in New York, so it had proved to be a shrewd career decision. The travelling still left her feeling lonely on the nights in New York, but she was comforted knowing that the time until Chloe's return was gradually ticking down.

 **oOo**

Returning to her apartment in LA one particular evening, she first completed her nightly ritual of crossing another day off the countdown calendar, leaving just a month to the day when all her efforts would pay off. With every day that passed she grew more certain of it. She had taken these actions, or risks, to change her life, but it didn't mean anything until Chloe was there in it too.

The next thing she did was check her mail, and she laughed out loud when she opened another wedding invitation from a former Bella. The date for the ceremony was shortly after Chloe's expected return and the venue was in Atlanta. Beca wasn't one for fate or destiny, but she couldn't help wanting to believe that something was showing them a sign. Her grand gesture, her declaration of her love for Chloe was going to happen at another Bella's wedding, back in the city where they first met at college. She enjoyed the symmetry of it, and she expected Chloe would too. Despite having no substantive indication of Chloe's current state of mind - only her own assumptions and hopes, the strange coincidental timing of that wedding invitation only strengthened her convictions.

 **oOoOo**

Chloe has deliberately kept minimal contact with Ben, with home, with everyone, during the months on her overseas experience. She had to send occasional work related emails to Ben and they were always short. 'I don't really have time to write,' was her usual opening line, and she never offered a word about Beca, or the reunion, or her impulsive decisions in the weeks after it. Ben tried initiating different conversations, but nothing drew her in. If he asked about how she was, she didn't acknowledge the question. If he asked about something that arrived in her mail she dismissed it. 'It's not urgent, I'll deal with it when I get back,' was another phrase she wrote to him repeatedly. She was always polite, but succinct in her messages. That was, until he mentioned the wedding invitation.

Initially he sent an email with an image of the invitation and wrote "What do you want me to do with this?"

She emailed a typical indifferent reply "Nothing, I'll take care of it later." She wasn't ready to think about facing Beca and she could easily pretend that she never knew or that she hadn't seen the invitation in time.

"Chloe, look at the dates. It's right after you get back, so you could definitely make it. Plus you need to RSVP in the next week. So, unless you give me a good reason not to, I am going to accept on your behalf. With a plus one."

She replied to this message relatively promptly; within a day, much more urgently than her usually three to five day turn around on emails. "Ben. If you have to interfere, then RSVP on my behalf, give my apologies and explain that I am still overseas."

His short response was loaded, 'No Chloe. That would not be truthful," but his goading wasn't so effective via email.

"Please Ben. Just decline the invite. I'm not ready to see her."

The trail of emails ended there. Despite not confirming, Chloe assumed he would do as she had asked, but not knowing for sure turned to a little doubt that stayed on her mind.

 **oOo**

When Chloe walked through the arrival gates at the airport and saw Ben waiting there, she gave him a massive smile and quickened her pace towards him. She dropped her bags and had her arms outstretched when he was still five metres from her.

"So? How was it?" He spoke first when they finally broke from their hug. "I know you were very, very busy, all the time, but I don't know anything about what you were doing, if you enjoyed it, if you missed me, if you were thinking about Beca all the time, what you are going to do next."

It had been too long without talking and skipping mundanities was still his way with her.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course I missed you, terribly," she replied in a mocking tone, "Let's go get a drink, I can't wait to tell you all about it."

Ben helped her with her bags and led her to his car while Chloe was deciding which of her favourite bars she most wanted to visit. Once the decision was made and they were on their way out of the airport towards the city, she began excitedly telling Ben about her time away.

He didn't need to ask any questions, he couldn't get one in, as she rambled in all directions; about the work projects and her roles in them, the extraordinary and interesting people she met, her challenges with the cultural differences and what she missed about home. It easily filled the twenty minute drive.

It was early evening, a slow time at the bar, with just a few pockets of quiet drinkers dotted around the room. After they had found a booth and ordered drinks from the waitress, Chloe mentioned Beca for the first time. The frenzy of her earlier monologue was now restrained.

"I thought a lot about this thing with Beca," she said.

"Of course. And?' His eagerness warned her that he was not going to like what she said next.

'I know that I was a bit hasty, disappearing so soon after the reunion, and I should have handled that differently, and talked to her like you said. But I've had all that time away to stop feeling so frustrated and confused, and I know now that Beca and I, we just don't make sense."

"Oh. Ok."

"Yeah, I mean being together with her doesn't make sense," Chloe continued, "You can't be surprised about this?"

"It's just, that's too bad, you know? After the reunion, and how you felt about each other then."

She leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table, her eyes never leaving his.

"That reunion created a completely exceptional set of circumstances that allowed us to explore the attraction between us. It would never be like that outside of that place and time."

"So what are you going to do?" he asked, after the finality of her words settled.

"Nothing really. I guess our paths will cross again soon enough and maybe we will be friends again one day."

"You can't be serious, Chloe. She's probably been trying to contact you all this time." He didn't say anything about Beca's phone calls, the situation was already fragile.

"I suppose you are right. I should call, give us both closure."

"Or better still, talk to her in person at the wedding later this month."

"Oh no, you accepted didn't you?"

"I did. And I will come as your plus one, in case you need support, or a decoy, or to escape early."

"I just think it would be poor timing to have that conversation with her there. I don't want to risk an ugly scene at someone's wedding, and I don't know that either of us will be able to enjoy it with the other there too."

"Ok. Humour me here Chloe. Imagine you both attend. What, in your mind, would be the best case scenario for how it goes?"

She eyed him suspiciously but she wanted to play this game, to prove she had no doubts about her decisions. Besides, she had invested plenty of time in the previous few months imagining her next encounter with Beca.

"Ok. We both go to the wedding. We talk, and agree that despite the past, and the obvious physical attraction between us, we are not a good match and it's impossible. Also we agree to work on being friends again in some capacity in the future. And she apologises for being such a dick."

"And worst case scenario?"

Chloe began to fold her arms across her chest then caught herself and stopped, instead drawing one leg up to her chest, and placing her hands lightly on top of her knee.

"We go to the wedding. She won't talk or listen to me, she dismisses what happened as just fooling around. Because then I don't think we would ever have a chance at being friends."

"That's not going to happen! A realistic worst case scenario, Chloe."

"It's not helpful to think about it."

They were interrupted by the waitress arriving with their drinks. Chloe pick up her glass as soon as it was placed in front of her and took a long drink.

"Oh that's so good. I've missed good wine," Chloe said, but she knew it wouldn't divert the conversation. Ben wasn't finished, he would need more convincing.

"Humour me some more," he said, "Let me throw a few scenarios out there and tell me what you would do."

"Sure, shoot!" She shrugged her shoulders then leaned back further into the seat.

Ben placed the pads of his index fingers together, to count out the list of possibilities.

"Number one; you can't resist each other and you end up in her bed again."

"That's not going to happen! You said 'a realistic scenario' Ben. There is no way I would let that happen again. Next."

Ben proceeded quickly, not responding, just counting out the scenarios on his hand.

"Number two; you let out all that anger towards her, and tell her what you went through when you got back from the reunion."

"Honestly Ben, I'm not angry anymore. Next." This was easy; there was nothing he could say that she hadn't considered.

"Number three; she says she loves you and begs for your forgiveness."

"Again, 'realistic scenario', Ben? Pretty unlikely, but I'd tell her I'm not willing to try because it's not enough, we won't ever be able make it work."

"Four; you avoid each other and barely exchange any words all night."

"Great. I'd be Ok with that."

"Five; she yells at you for disappearing from her life."

"Ugly scene; I'd get out of there."

Ben stopped counting and dropped his hands. Chloe wore a smug smile, she was the winner, but she didn't realise they had been playing different games.

"Chloe, you've got it all worked out, you're completely prepared to wrap that whole chapter of your life up, so why wait? There's no reason not to attend the wedding. In fact the timing is perfect. Just say what you need to say to her, and if she starts an ugly scene, we get out of there.

Unless there is something else you are afraid of?"

Chloe tilted her head, considering it. "Of course not. I suppose you have a point."

She was confident that it was all resolved in her head, and that she could hold to her prepared reactions if she saw Beca at the wedding. What she secretly feared was the unknown everything that would come after that point.


	16. Wedding 3 - Part 1

Chloe's return date came and went and Beca saw no evidence of any activity on Chloe's phone. She was still offline. Beca called Ben's office but he was unavailable to take her call and he didn't return it, instead he sent her a short message which confirmed that Chloe was back, that she would be at the upcoming wedding in Atlanta and that she had a new number now. He didn't provide it. Beca understood that he was giving the information without Chloe's knowledge and that she couldn't press for any more about Chloe from Ben, so she didn't even reply.

A little later she received a second message from him.

Ben (Chloe's friend) [12:25] : You are going to have to step it up this time Beca. Prove to her that things will be different from now on if you want to win her back.

Beca felt she had that covered. The wedding would be their moment.

 **oOo**

As with each previous Bella wedding, Beca attended this one without a plus one, but this time she wasn't planning to still be single by the end of it.

She arrived in Atlanta late the night before the wedding and stayed with her father. She wanted to spend some time with him but she couldn't cope with the questions that he would inevitably ask about her old friends. She went to bed shortly after arriving at his home, and in the morning she took off for the wedding immediately after breakfast.

The Verano hotel was a dull, rectangular building with no outdoor spaces and little charm. It was an odd choice; the hotel was popular for hosting conferences and corporate events rather than weddings or family celebrations. It was redeemed slightly by its location, adjacent to a trendy nightlife precinct with several decent bars and clubs.

Beca arrived before midday - too early to check-in and hours before the ceremony. The reception staff directed Beca to the Sapphire room, which, she was informed, was where 'this afternoon's wedding event is being hosted'. The room was small, and so Beca assumed the guest list was too. It looked like a meeting room had been converted just for this afternoon's wedding event. The name was probably temporary too. The room was soulless, with staff quietly setting up the bar.

Beca left the bleak reception space and with another hour to kill until check-in, she set about locating the bride and maybe some other Bellas. Maybe Chloe had arrived early too. She wandered around the bars and reception areas of the hotel until she spotted a wedding dress clad woman dragging chairs through the hotel corridors, from the conference centre, in the direction of the Sapphire room.

"Oh my god, Flo? Is that you?"

"Beca! So glad you could make it." Flo stopped what she was doing and embraced Beca. Beca deliberately looked to the chairs, but Flo led her away, ignoring how she had been discovered at that task.

"It's so strange to see you after all this time. We all assumed you were in jail, or dead. You missed the reunion earlier this year, it's was really fantastic," Beca said.

"I might have been incarcerated at that time. I can't really talk about it, for both of our safeties."

Beca chuckled, but Flo just raised an eyebrow.

"I could have ended up in a lot of trouble Beca, but a Bella sister came to my aid."

Beca observed the other woman, and tried to remain expressionless. Flo was always impossible to read, her stories seemed too far fetched, but no one was ever sure.

Flo took Beca's arm and led her to a nearby terrace bar. Facing away from them at the end of the bar was a tall blonde, yapping orders into her cell phone. Beca instantly recognised the insistent voice.

"No way!" The words escaped a little louder than Beca realised, as she looked at Flo for confirmation. Flo nodded as the blonde turned around, ended the call abruptly and strode towards the two women.

"Beca Mitchell," the blonde said, in a tone that made it sound like this was a confrontation.

"Aubrey Posen. What are you doing here?" There was no embrace between the former team mates. Aubrey towered over Beca, studying her appearance.

"Flo was a client of mine recently, and she invited me to attend her wedding."

Beca stared blankly, prompting Aubrey to elaborate.

"Flo's case was brought to my attention some months ago. She needed some legal, and other, assistance. My firm were unwilling to take on the case so I volunteered my services and instructed her so that she would be able remain in the country."

"But you barely know her." Beca didn't mean to sound so harsh towards Flo, she just couldn't understand what would drive Aubrey to help a woman she had only met once or twice.

"She's a Bella. We have a lifelong bond."

"She threatened a lot of people for me," Flo whispered to Beca.

"Good to know she'd have my back if I'm ever in trouble," Beca muttered in response.

"Of course, Beca. We are sisters," Aubrey said, glaring at Beca. Her words of support for all Bellas were spoken aggressively to Beca.

"I guess you are not running the retreat in the woods anymore?"

"Oh no!" Aubrey laughed at the idea. "That was a fun experience after college but the time came to take my responsibilities seriously. I realised that my true calling, where I belong in this world, is in a corporate boardroom. I work for a law firm in LA now."

"You live in LA?" Beca said it a little too brightly. It was just a coincidence, she was not about to invite Aubrey to a dinner party.

"Yes, why?"

"I live there too." She moved on quickly. "Are you still in touch with any of the others? Chloe?"

"Chloe and I occasional talk, but I'm exceptionally busy and she lives a long way away in New York. We spoke when she got back from overseas recently."

Aubrey was so controlled when she spoke and Beca knew she was observing the reaction to her words. What did she know? What had they talked about? Beca just nodded and plastered on a fake smile.

"Anyway it's nice to see you again. I have to make a few more calls so I'll see you later," Aubrey said as she pulled out her phone again and started to walk away from them.

Released from Aubrey's scrutiny, Beca regained her composure.

"I can see how she would be good at intimidating people."

"Right?" Flo replied.

Flo left the bar and Beca followed her blindly through the indistinguishable corridors of the hotel.

"So this place is an interesting choice for your wedding, Flo."

"I know, I wanted to go to City Hall, but Aubrey persuaded me that we should have a proper wedding and reception, with guests and speeches."

Aubrey presence sat uneasily with Beca as did her influence in Flo's decisions.

"Don't worry we'll get out of the 'Sapphire' room as soon as possible. The bars around here are pretty good," Flo added quickly and with more enthusiasm.

Beca recognised they were back near the sterile wedding room. Picking up the stack of chairs she had abandoned earlier, Flo continued with her furniture removals activities.

"Can I help you with that? Wait, why are you doing that?"

"No, no, it's fine. You go and get ready. I'll see you at the ceremony soon."

Beca, though increasingly perplexed, took the instruction and didn't offer to assist a second time.

 **oOo**

Beca finally checked into her room, got ready and watched the minutes pass. Everything was about to change; that was Beca's mantra for today. Nothing could ruin this day for her, not even Aubrey Posen's judgement. She checked in the mirror again, trying to quash any nervousness. She looked fine. No, she looked good, she told herself, not as good as Chloe would, but that was a given.

She swaggered to the Sapphire room, checking for any familiar faces en route but finding none. She was one of the first to arrive and when Flo greeted her at the door, both women were still without their plus ones. The bride seemed preoccupied so Beca tried to calm her pre-wedding jitters; she asked about Theo, her fiancé; how did they meet? What was he like? Where was he?

Flo deflected the conversation and gestured towards a currently empty table in the centre of the room. She called it 'The Barden Table'.

"Great, the Bellas are all here!" Beca's extravagantly high pitched voice released some of the tension in Flo's face for a brief moment.

"Only a few of them," Flo replied, as she turned around to see that she had more guests to receive.

"But Chloe's here, right?" Beca knew Chloe was attending, she was only confirming it in order to make small talk with Flo.

"No, she cancelled. Called me last week, too busy with work or something," Flo said as she turned to the arriving guests.

"What? Chloe's not here?" It came out as a whisper.

She walked, without any swagger, to the Barden table of eight. The first name card she saw read 'Patricia Allen'. It should have made her laugh, Fat Amy would hate that. Next was 'Bumper Allen'. Of course, her plus one, her husband. Beca didn't care for him but he was essentially harmless and he made Amy happy.

Continuing to walk around the table, she saw 'Stacie Conrad', and thought, with a drinking buddy, maybe this evening wouldn't completely suck after all. Alongside Stacie was 'Aubrey Posen', but she knew already that name would be somewhere around the table. As long as Beca wasn't beside her she could handle it. It wasn't her name next but she was stopped her in her tracks on reading 'Jesse Swanson', and then to the left of him 'Beca Mitchell'.

The second to last seat was assigned to 'Chloe Beale'. Beca wished it meant that Flo was mistaken; that it had been someone else who had cancelled. But Beca knew they just didn't change the seating plan at short notice. The last guest at the table was 'Ben Graham'. Although his recent message has been encouraging her to fix things with Chloe, Beca couldn't forget that the last time Chloe brought him to a wedding it was to be a buffer between them.

This evening was going to suck, sitting with her ex on one side and Chloe's absence on the other. Amy was certain to tease her about current and ex partners, including Jesse, with him sitting right there. There would be questions about Chloe and her last minute cancellation, and they would all look to Beca for answers. Stacie would extract the truth and then rip her to shreds for it. Who knew how Aubrey would torment her? And Jesse, how the hell was she going to talk to him after all this time? She didn't get the time to consider it as she heard that same man's voice behind her.

"Hello Beca."

She was going to have to wing it.

"Jesse! Hey. How are you? How long has it been? Two, three years?"

In all that time since their break up, Beca had never mastered the skill of controlling her telltale behaviours in times of discomfort.

"Long enough for this not to be awkward anymore. You look great, Beca."

She relaxed at his reassuring words and she surprised herself when she pulled him in for an enveloping hug. It was a relief to feel she might have at least one more friend here, and one less fire to put out. Jesse made a simple nod towards the bar and Beca linked their arms as they walked towards it. She thought maybe this could be their opportunity to reconnect as friends, like they had agreed when they broke up.

Conversation between them was easy as they talked about the previous three years of their lives over a glass of cheap wine. While returning to the table, Beca noted the eclectic mix of people now in the room. It prompted her to ask Jessie why he had been invited.

"Friend of the groom. Don't you recognise Theo? He was in the Treblemakers with us."

"Actually, I haven't seen the groom at all."

A familiar Australian accent interrupted from nearby and cut straight to many people's suspicions. "Has _anybody_ seen Mr Green Card yet?"

Beca laughed, a little nervously, and then pointed to Aubrey's name card.

"Amy, have you seen who else is here? I wouldn't recommend making more of those Green Card jokes when Aubrey is around."

When Aubrey and Stacie, arrived, the six members of the Barden table looked around at each other for a few moments in silence, adjusting to the strange reunion.

"Where's Chloe?" Stacie directed the question to Beca. Beca spoke carefully, faking indifference, and she addressed her response to the whole table, "I don't know. Flo said she accepted but cancelled last minute, I guess she had to work or something." Then she looked to Stacie, wordlessly pleading for understanding until she could explain fully, and privately.

Stacie stared back. Her expression had changed but Beca wasn't sure what it was now; Anger? Surprise? Disappointment? She decided it looked most like fury. Around the table, the awkwardness of Stacie's reaction was hard to overlook.

"She's not here because some dickhead jerked her around." Aubrey Posen didn't care for uncomfortable silences. When she had everyone's attention, she continued.

"She's been doing volunteer work in Asia for a few months and got home a few weeks ago. She took off overseas rather abruptly, after a relationship soured and ended pretty badly. The guy was a real asshole to her. So you can understand why a wedding is not someplace she wants to be right now.

Didn't you know any of this, Beca?"

Beca was seething; of course Aubrey would love to prove that she was the more valued friend to Chloe now. Sometimes Beca couldn't believe how she had tolerated Aubrey that first year at Barden, or why she had stuck with the Bellas. But one of the reasons was the schadenfreude she experienced on seeing how much it stung Aubrey when Beca's addition to the Bellas had affected Chloe so much, and brought nonstop conflict to the dynamic between the two seniors that year.

"She talked about some of that with me but I didn't come to the same conclusion, no," Beca said calmly. Whatever Chloe had told Aubrey, it didn't include that the asshole in the story was Beca. Aubrey didn't have all the facts. Neither did Stacie. And neither did Chloe.

Most pairs of eyes at the table looked around for distractions, hoping that the sparring between these two wouldn't be reignited. It was avoided as Stacie spoke next.

"Can I talk to you for a second Beca?" It was threatening, and indiscreet.

Beca nodded and stood up, "Sure Stacie, let's get some fresh air." She pointed towards the external door and starting walking. Stacie followed without another word. Once outside they found themselves standing in a grey laneway between the hotel and the adjacent building. Beca turned to face Stacie.

"Stacie, let me explain."

"You fucked it up, didn't you Beca? You're the reason Chloe didn't come, right?"

"No," Beca shouted back. She lowered her voice and continued, "I don't know. I was really trying, but then she just disappeared."

Stacie calmed down a little, "Ok Beca, tell me what happened."

Beca told Stacie all that had been going on since the reunion. She had never put it into words before, nor had she needed to justify her actions and assumptions to anyone. By explaining out loud, she could hear now how foolish and naive she sounded. Now she saw the overlooked gaps in her perfect 'Bhloe' narrative, and Stacie saw them too.

"So, to summarise, you haven't spoken to her once since the reunion, you never clearly told her that you love her too and want to be with her, and you assumed she would fall into your arms here today."

"Yes. I know it sounds ridiculous but I really did."

"You are an idiot Beca. You could have called me and I would have reminded you, again, that you can't work it all out on your own. Especially not with Chloe. You have to fix this Beca. Right now. Pick up the phone and talk to her."

"I don't have her new number," Beca responded sheepishly.

"Wait here!" Stacie commanded with a raised index finger. She spun around and made her way back to their table. Through the window Beca watched Stacie speaking with Aubrey, in what seemed to be a casual conversation. Then they both took out their phones and typed for a few moments. Once Stacie returned her phone to her purse, she stood and strode back to when Beca was waiting.

"What did you say to Aubrey?" Beca demanded.

Stacie smiled, finally. "It doesn't matter Beca. I've sent you a message with the number. Now go and call her, go and get her!"


	17. Wedding 3 - Part 2

Beca had stared for too long at the simple message from Stacie. It was just Chloe's phone number and Stacie's glib message - 'Don't fuck it up again!' Stacie was being supportive, in her own way, but the wording made Beca anxious.

Beca M [15.15] : Chloe! I can't believe you're not here. This wedding is going to suck without you

Chloe B [15.15] : You'll get over it

Beca M [15.15] : You know this is Beca, right?

Chloe B [15.15] : Yes

Her opening gambit backfired. Both she and Chloe knew that sending messages was one of Beca's ways to avoid confrontation.

The initial message to Chloe was supposed to test the waters, and she had been wishing for a typically Chloe-like response - buoyant or even flirty. Which was absurd given the situation. Beca didn't know what typical Chloe behaviour looked like anymore. In the past she always bounced back from a broken heart, she always forgave her friends and she always talked things through. She'd never been a flight risk like Beca.

Beca gave herself a quick pep talk; she had already proved what she would do for them to be together, all she needed to do was tell Chloe what she had been doing in those weeks and apologise for the unintentionally misleading secrecy. Feeling fractionally more confident she pressed the call button. She paced around her room waiting for the answer.

"Hello, this is Chloe Beale speaking."

Already Beca was thrown, Chloe would have seen the caller ID, yet she still gave that cold greeting.

"Hello Chloe Beale speaking, this is Beca Mitchell speaking," she mocked back. She heard a gentle sigh on the other end of the line, which was followed by a tense pause between them.

"Right, well here I am at this awful wedding, which rumour has it may be a sham marriage, and there is the oddest mix of people here. It's all really weird.

"And this place is depressingly dull, the reception is in what's basically a meeting room, the wine is terrible - some cheap Australian red, so I'm not optimistic about what the food will be like later."

She paused for a second but no reaction was forthcoming from Chloe so she changed tack.

"I thought you were going to be here Chloe. I thought if you were here, it might at least be a little fun. We have a bit of a history at weddings now, you know?"

Still no response, so she rambled on.

"So the groom apparently was a Treblemaker back in our time at Barden - Theo? I don't remember him at all. Oh, and Aubrey is here, can you believe it? She's already busted my balls and scared the pants off half the guests."

"Why are you calling me Beca, what do you want?"

"I want you, to be here. But since you didn't show, I wanted to talk to you at least."

"Ok, let's talk," was Chloe's polite but loaded reply. Beca felt it as a demand to say something meaningful, to step up. _Say I love you too Chloe, say I'm in love with you_ , she prompted herself. But those words wouldn't come out.

"Could we just skip to the part where you say you love me again, and go from there?"

"Are you for serious? You're flirting with me? Now? This, between us, is a complete disaster Beca. You want to talk, ok? Let's start with why you never responded back then, when I said that?"

Beca was trying to fill the gaps that were usually left while she was carefully preparing what to say or how much to reveal. She had done it so much during the reunion week and she knew how it aggravated Chloe. So she responded instantly, and what naturally comes out of Beca's mouth is often flippant.

"You want to know why I didn't say it back? While you were speeding away in your car?" Beca knew it was possibly the worst thing she could have said. She recognised the smart-assed version of herself which had so often come out to torment Chloe in the past. Ben's advice - prove to her that things will be different, had seemed an obvious no-brainier at the time, but she was failing to adhere to it.

"Ok, but you could have done something. You have a telephone," Chloe said.

"Let me explain Chloe - I needed time ..." Beca started but Chloe cut her off.

"Yes, I know. You need time. I'm really tired of those three words. What's the point, Beca? So we can do another loop on this roller-coaster?

"You know Beca, I didn't need to figure stuff out. I knew how I felt, and what I wanted. While I was away, I realised I deserve someone who feels the same, not someone who needs weeks or months to figure out if they love me or not."

"I wasn't figuring out how I felt. I was figuring out how to be with you. I knew how I felt too." Still Beca didn't say the actual words, she was searching for some reassurance from Chloe that she wouldn't be humiliated if she said them now.

"I don't believe you, Beca."

Beca physically reeled at the words and that Chloe had said them so calmly. She collapsed into a nearby armchair.

"I sent you lots of messages," she offered meekly.

"Yeah, I saw them. Why messages? Why not call me? Why did you never call me Beca?"

That wasn't completely fair. Chloe never called either.

"Are you drunk right now? Cause you not making sense. I'm pretty sure you have a phone that can make outgoing calls too."

"Fuck you Beca."

The harshness of the words reminded Beca again that defaulting to sarcasm wasn't going to suddenly start working, and with no other tactic, she was feeling hopelessly vulnerable.

"Look, I was afraid of saying something that I couldn't ... I mean I had to make sure, and I was planning to ..."

"What Beca? What were you planning to do?"

Beca did pause to consider her response this time. Chloe didn't believe her. She would get humiliated here if she tried to explain her stupid romantic gesture. Chloe wouldn't believe she was even capable of it. Beca was rapidly losing her nerve as Chloe was growing more aggressive.

"Does it even matter now? Clearly you have already made up your mind."

"You know Beca, you really should reread those messages you sent me, and consider how they sound from my point of view. Especially from someone like you." The way she spat out the last word, 'you', was full of disdain, intending to hurt.

"Someone like me?" Beca found her voice, not willing to take this much abuse or blame for the mess of their relationship.

"Yeah, you know; emotionally immature, cavalier about how you hurt people."

"Wait, Chloe," Beca started.

But Chloe ignored her. She was able to recite from memory some of the words that Beca had texted to her from months earlier.

"Let me remind you of some of your best moments; 'please be patient, I hope you understand' or 'there are things that are out of my control'"

"Chloe, stop!"

"Oh, this one was funny; 'It looks like it will take a little longer that I'd hoped.'"

"Please Chloe, stop!" Beca shouted.

But it only egged Chloe on. She continued the harsh taunts.

"And here are few more of my favourite Beca Mitchell quotes; 'Not having you around makes it easy to forget you.' That made me feel really special.

"And what about 'I was able to ignore what I was feeling'? You should be so proud of that."

"You know that's not how I meant it!" Beca said.

Beca had rarely seen this malicious side of Chloe, and she had never been on the receiving side of it. It was ugly, and it made Chloe difficult to like in that moment. By now Beca had completely forgotten about the reasons why she had called, instead she responded to Chloe's fury with some of her own.

"You can't put all of this on me Chloe. Yes, I wanted you to wait a little but you don't know why. And you just disappeared and cut me off, and pretty quickly too. You don't know what I was going through; it was really difficult for me too."

Chloe laughed derisively. "Tell me, what were you expecting would happen today, Beca? You'd sweep in, sleep with me again and then disappear back to your awesome life in LA, and then forget about me until it suited you again?"

"Of course not," Beca replied angrily without elaborating on what her expectations were. She had been anticipating much more, though she couldn't deny that for days, she'd just been fantasizing about Chloe's touch and replaying in her mind that last time she'd watched Chloe come undone under her. But she was not going to bare her soul, not now with the way Chloe was speaking to her.

The conversation decayed further, with both slinging caustic barbs and accusations, and neither interested in looking for a resolution. When Chloe attacked Beca over her past relationships with Jesse and with Alex, it was vicious. She knew it was one of Beca's sources of self-doubt.

"You still push people away, Beca. Jesse bent over backwards to get close to you but you still kept him at a distance, for years. And Alex, when you said he didn't give you space, did you mean because he asked you about your feelings?"

Beca didn't fight back this time. Chloe had done so much damage now and she would only hear Beca breathing convulsively on the other end of the line from that moment on.

"I made a big mistake. I thought that to you, I would be different. I really thought what happened at the reunion meant something. I shouldn't have let things go that far."

Still Beca couldn't speak.

"Look Beca, I think it's best if we don't contact each other," Chloe added in a practised dispassionate tone. She hesitated for a second, like she was going to add more, but she didn't get a chance to say whatever it might be.

Beca hung up on her. She quickly typed a final message to Chloe and then allowed the phone to fall to the floor. Her body slipped from the chair down onto the carpet, and she broke down howling.

Beca M [15.32] : Ok - I won't call you ever again

 **oOo**


	18. Wedding 3 - Part 3

Beca never used the expression 'the worst day of my life'. It was for the melodramatic - people unlike her. But right now, without question she would be able to put that label on this day, and she didn't see how any other could ever take over the title in the future.

She stayed curled up on the floor until the need to unstick her dry throat grew too strong. The door of the mini-bar creaked open and the compressor gurgled while she took stock of her options. Selecting a miniature bottle of vodka, she tipped her head back and emptied it into her mouth. She looked around the room with its beige everything, accompanied by the sound of the uneven hum from the ancient air conditioner. She had to get out. She was getting drunk tonight, that was certain. But not here. And not in this dress and not with these raccoon eyes.

Another vodka, a quick shower, some heavy makeup, a change into her casual clothes, one more drink - scotch this time, and she was ready to go.

Her phone was still on the floor next to the chair where she had dropped it earlier. She saw the blinking light indicating a new message. Probably Chloe confirming the end of their friendship or relationship or whatever it was. Probably with another insult thrown in.

She picked up the phone to delete the message and then delete Chloe's number. No doubt Chloe had already deleted hers. She was almost disappointed that the message wasn't from Chloe; now she wouldn't get to have her tiny defiant moment of shutting Chloe up. And it pissed her off to realise that she had wanted Chloe to acknowledge her last message.

Stacie C [18:10] : u ok?

If Beca didn't reply, Stacie would draw one of two conclusions - that the call had gone well and Beca was holed-up in her room enjoying phone sex with Chloe, or that it had gone badly and Beca was raiding the mini-bar. Either option should mean that Stacie wouldn't bother her again. She switched the phone off and threw it on the bed before she left to find a bar.

She never got around to deleting Chloe's number.

 **oOo**

The third bar that Beca visited was perfect - dark and quiet. There was music playing at low volume, and the clientele were hidden away in booths and alcoves across three floors. She found an empty booth on the top floor, and ordered her first beer with a whiskey chaser.

Several more rounds followed. She'd been gone from the wedding for hours and she had no plans to return, or even to see anyone before leaving tomorrow morning. She'd deal with the fallout later - apologise to Flo, maybe to Jesse too. She really didn't care.

She never noticed Jesse approaching the booth. She only became aware of him after he'd sat down on the other side of the table. This was no coincidence, he had come looking for her and she hadn't made herself easy to find. When he arrived she'd been looking down at the bottle in her right hand while her left was rubbing her forehead slowly, and he'd caught her.

"Jesse!" she said, lifting her head and putting on a smile, "You skipped out on the worst wedding ever too?"

She noticed him glancing a few times at the collection of beer bottles and shot glasses at the end of the table, like he was figuring out what exactly he had discovered here. Beca turned to look at the empties too, claiming them. _Yes, I drank all of those._ He hadn't said anything yet and she directed him to just get a drink first and she cajoled him into getting her another one too.

After he returned with a beer and a large glass of water each, Jesse steered the conversation to memories from their college days, A Capella nerds and of course, the worst wedding of the year and the surprise of seeing some of those A Capella nerds again. She saw how he was trying to manage this; lightening the conversation and not talking about the circumstances of where they were right now or why. If he'd asked her what's wrong, because of course something was wrong, she would have told him to leave her alone. She did appreciate his delicate approach, and talking with him now was a distraction but really she'd prefer to be alone to wallow in her misery.

Aubrey Posen's name came up. Jesse bantered with Beca about their freshman year when Aubrey led the Bellas and how much Beca had griped about having to follow the captain's musical direction when she had a million better ideas.

"Aubrey showing up was a horrible surprise. She is colder and bitchier than ever," Beca said.

"She is kind of interesting though," he replied. The look of disgust on Beca's face made him laugh. "You should talk to her; she's had a pretty interesting life since graduation. I know you two never really saw eye to eye at college, but ..."

Beca's facade started to crack.

"Jesse, can we not talk about her. I'm having a really shitty day, and not just because this wedding sucks."

"It's OK Beca," he replied shaking his head then picking up his drink and looking away.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said. As if that wasn't already clear. "Will you just get drunk with me? You need to catch up to my level."

Before Jesse could respond, she had caught the attention of a passing server and asked for another round of beers.

"Nothing for me," Jesse said. Beca paid little heed to his tone, that he wanted her to stop. And what could he do? They had been friends again for five minutes and the rules around what's permitted and what's taboo were not clear.

"Suit yourself," she said.

Jesse gave the server a pleading look, but her drink arrived minutes later. She had finished another two beers in quick succession and her bravado was back.

"Be right back," she said in a sing-song, as she went in the direction of the bathroom. She returned carrying two shots of tequila.

She shuffled along the bench to sit next to him, spilling some of the tequila as she tried to place one shot in front of each of them. He tried to bargain with her, offering to drink the shots together only if they make this the last one for the night. She agreed with "Sure, whatever" and they downed the drinks.

He contorted his face as he recovered from the unwanted burning sensation spreading through his upper body, while she was squeezing in closer to him. She leaned in, and clumsily put one hand on his chest, the other in his hair.

"Did you know I have a habit of being promiscuous at weddings?" she said.

"Jesus Beca, what are you doing?" He took her wrists and shoved her away, then gestured for her to return to the other side of the booth.

She obeyed and put her head in her hands, "I'm so sorry, Jesse. I ruin everything."

"I think you should put down the bottle and talk about whatever is going on. Maybe with Chloe or Stacie?"

She lifted her head from her hands but looked towards the opposite wall. The shame was making it impossible to make eye contact with him.

"Chloe's not here," she said. It was more of a reminder to herself than an answer to his suggestion.

"But you could call her?"

Beca started sobbing, with her head back in her hands. Jesse didn't move or speak. They sat there, not looking at each other while Beca brought the sound of her crying under control.

"Remember what Aubrey was saying about Chloe? That a relationship ended badly and she was broken-hearted?"

He nodded and started pulling on the cuffs of his shirt.

"Well that's what happened to me too. The difference is that I screwed it up."

She finally turned back around and held his gaze for several heavy seconds. She looked at him now and remembered her old college boyfriend, the sweet guy who had fought for her for so long but that she left anyway, the guy making this effort to be friends now after she had been so indifferent when she walked away from their relationship. And she was dumping her problems on him now. Even though he had made it clear he wasn't volunteering to be that person. He didn't need to hear this, he shouldn't have to pick her up from this. She said nothing more and for the first time, she took a drink from the glass of water in front of her.

Jesse stood up and extended his hand to her. "Come on, Becs. I'll walk you back to your room. You should sleep it off."

She complied, letting him help her up from the seat. They began the short walk back to the Verano hotel, but she was unsteady on her feet and Jesse had to take her arm to support her. They moved silently while Beca watched her feet placing each step. By the time they arrived at the hotel, her movement was sloppier, she wasn't paying attention and she was relying completely on Jesse to get her back to her room. At the elevator lobby she stopped only because he did.

"What floor, Beca?" he asked, gently at first, as he pushed the call button. As the doors opened, he turned his head to interrupt her line of sight and he repeated the question, more abruptly.

 **oOo**

Stacie entered the main reception area and spotted them stepping into the elevator together. What she saw was Beca hanging from Jesse's shoulder as he talked to her, too closely. She bounded across the foyer but the elevator doors closed before she could get there.

She punched the call button multiple times, frantic to stop what she thought was about to happen. The doors opened, she looked at the illuminated panel with floor numbers 1 to 9, and she realised she didn't know where she was going. She strode to the reception desk, where she assessed the two available staff members; a middle aged woman and a younger man. She targeted the man and approached him. It took less than two minutes to get both Beca's and Jesse's room numbers.

As she hurried down the corridor towards Beca's room, Stacie encountered Jesse heading in the opposite direction.

"Jesse, what are you doing? Where's Beca?" she asked as she blocked his path.

"Nothing. She's pretty loaded so I brought her to her room. I was just making sure she got back safe."

Stacie muttered and swore to herself, then asked Jesse what she had told him.

Jesse explained how he had found her already wasted, and that she'd only said that she'd had her heart broken recently, the same as Chloe had. He omitted the part about her hitting on him.

"Jesse, it wasn't some guy, it was Chloe," Stacie blurted out.

"Holy shit. Really?" His mouth stayed open and his hands went to his head.

"Sorry, that's probably a bit weird for you to hear," Stacie said, "I'll go talk to her. Could you maybe find Aubrey, see what she knows?"

"Yeah, yeah of course," he replied.

Stacie took off towards Beca's room, as Jesse headed back to the party downstairs.

"One thing Jesse," she called over her shoulder, "Try to be tactful with Aubrey; she's probably not going to be on Beca's side in all of this."

 **oOo**

When Stacie got to Beca's room, she found the door unlocked. She stepped into the room to find Beca slouched on the floor, her back against the bathroom door frame, with a drink in one hand, and her phone in the other. She was looking down at the phone, her thumb hovering over the screen. Stacie grabbed both items from her.

"No Beca, not a good idea."

Stacie made some coffee. It was unpleasant hotel room coffee, made with with instant granules, but she forced Beca to drink it. They sat on the bed watching TV together for half an hour until the caffeine took effect and Beca became a little more lucid. Beca switched the TV off and turned to Stacie to indicate she was ready to talk now.

"What happened?" Stacie asked as she put an arm around Beca's shoulder.

"She didn't believe me." Beca accepted that she'd behaved like a complete idiot, but she wasn't a liar. It was the fact that Chloe thought she was lying and scheming that had left her so defeated. Beca continued to tell Stacie about some of the hurtful things they'd said to each other. She wasn't able to recount the most painful parts, when she had felt Chloe's pure hatred towards her.

Stacie comforted her silently, just squeezing her shoulder. She wasn't saying everything would be alright.

"You know I'm travelling to New York for work every month? It's so exhausting, but I fought so hard to get it. I can't tell my boss I've changed my mind because... I told him I wanted to go see my girlfriend. I said Chloe was my girlfriend!"

"You never told Chloe about New York?"

"No. I couldn't."

"Do you want me to call her?"

How sweet was Stacie to offer, and to neither reminding her not criticise her again about how she'd screwed it up? 'Why the hell not?' would have been a more fitting response.

"No. She already thinks I'm a coward; you can't fight this battle for me. Anyway, I'm sure we are finished. She was so hateful, I don't want her to know, ever."

"I'm so sorry Beca," Stacie said as she hugged her again. _Because there is nothing left to fight for,_ Beca realised that's how that sentence ends. Stacie wasn't offering to try to fight her battle, maybe just to negotiate a truce. Stacie been fiercely championing 'Bhloe' before, but now she was done. It was over.

Stacie left soon after, once she had persuaded Beca to try to get some sleep, and promise not to make any more phone calls that night.

 **oOo**


	19. Wedding 3 - Part 4

The morning after was a rough one for Beca. An alarm went off at eight and she woke with a blinding headache, a delicate stomach, and a level of morning-after regrets comparable to her early college years. The temptation to make an invisible exit was very strong, but she didn't succumb to it. She needed to face this.

Jesse was top of her list. She sent him a text message inviting him for coffee, and twenty minutes later they met outside the hotel's breakfast room.

"Find us a table and I'll get some coffee," he said as he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. He was closer, more familiar than last night and he gave her a weak smile before they separated. She sat at the table in the farthest corner of the room and watched him. As he joined the queue at the coffee bar, his eyes scanned the tables until he located her. Once he had ordered, he looked in her direction again. In the few minutes of waiting he did it three more times. Then, with a coffee cup in each hand he walked to her, glancing up occasionally, always with that same pitying smile.

"Stacie told you?" she asked when he set the cups on the table. She held her head up and tried to smirk as she said it - she didn't want his pity.

"Yeah, she did but she was just trying to help. And Aubrey knows now too. That's my fault."

None of this was Jesse's fault. She was supposed to be apologising to him now, but Aubrey's presence here was a consuming source of rage. Aubrey aca-bitch Posen. From the moment Beca had first seen her at the terrace bar, the day had gone from bad to catastrophic. She couldn't blame Aubrey for her "perfect" day going so far off the rails, but Aubrey was sure to interfere and she'd have already picked sides.

"Why were you talking to Aubrey?" Beca asked. It wasn't an accusation.

"Stacie asked me to. She thought Aubrey might know more about what happened between you and Chloe."

Beca had to know everything Aubrey had said, how much Aubrey knew and anything Chloe had said to her. But Jesse had nothing - Aubrey hadn't known. Beca did learn however that Aubrey thought Chloe had always had a thing for Beca in college. Aubrey assumed it was unrequited and nothing would ever come of it. Beca was dubious. Chloe never had a thing for her in college, she flirted and touched inappropriately all the time but it was never a thing. Not then. Not until later. Chloe's supposed thing for her was an invention that came from Aubrey's resentment about how Beca's friendship with Chloe undermined hers.

"And she assumes this is all my fault now and she is going to kill me, right?" Unlike Chloe, he would understood her wit. He got how she used it to diffuse a difficult conversation.

"It's true that she was planning to kill you last night. Let's hope she's being a little more reasonable this morning." He smiled and they both wasted some time stirring and tasting their coffees. When he spoke again the smile was gone.

"Thanks. I guess," she said after he explained how he'd convinced Aubrey not to storm up to Beca's room last night and to wait until she had heard the full story. Beca wasn't happy that he told Aubrey about the drunken state she was in last night, or that he'd said she was 'devastated' and 'a wreck'. But he had defender her, and he didn't have to do that. He was probably filtering the details now too to protect her from the things Aubrey had said about her. She wondered if they had compared notes about college days. Did Jesse ever suspect that Chloe had a thing for her too?

"She was going to find out anyway," he said.

"Really, it's Ok," she assured him. She probably would have had to tell Aubrey herself today anyway. This saved her the confession and it shortened the conversation she'd be having with the mad dragon later. They'd been talking about her too much and Beca realised she'd neglected the main reason she'd contacted Jesse this morning.

"I'm so sorry about last night. After what happened with Chloe yesterday, I didn't know what I was doing."

He just let her continue, squirming as she repeatedly apologised - for making him take care of her, for hitting on him, for putting him in that difficult situation. She didn't offer any excuses nor did she use Chloe's name again. She didn't mention what was the catalyst for why she behaved that way. Eventually he rescued her.

"Apology accepted. You wanna tell me what happened with Chloe?"

"Not today," she said, looking deep into her coffee cup, "But maybe another time. Can we start over with being friends?"

"Of course, I'd like that."

"I still need to talk to Stacie." She groaned. "And Aubrey too."

" I have Aubrey's number if you need it," he said taking his phone out.

"Why do you have Aubrey's number?" He was the one squirming now.

"Right. We exchanged numbers last night. We both wanted to know what was going on. I know that sounds like gossiping but I'd never seen you like that before, and you and Chloe were always so close. It was just about trying to be a friend to you."

 _Nice save Jesse_ she thought. She gave him a smile and copied the number to her phone.

Jesse went to get some food while she typed out messages to Stacie and Aubrey. The two women arrived a short time later - Stacie looked at her with a smile while Aubrey shot her a vicious look.

Opting for the simpler task first, Beca led Stacie back out to the adjacent foyer, leaving Aubrey with only Jesse, or her precious cell phone, for company.

She apologised to Stacie for being such a hot mess the night before although Stacie dismissed the apology as unnecessary, given the circumstances. Beca thought it must have irked her though - this was exactly what Stacie had warned her about at the end of the reunion. Last night was the I-told-you-so moment which Stacie had to spend taking care of Beca. So Beca also apologised for not taking her advice back then. Stacie just shrugged her shoulders, because it hardly mattered now.

They returned to rejoin Aubrey and Jesse, who by now were chatting away like old friends. _What would they have to talk about?_ Beca wondered. When each pair became aware of the other, all four became silent. Stacie gave Beca's arm a squeeze and sat down. Beca stayed on her feet and stepped closer to Aubrey's seat. She stood there saying nothing until Aubrey stood up too. Beca made no move to lead her out of the room as she had with Stacie, this part was safer with an audience.

Beca raised one hand when she detected that Aubrey was about to start speaking.

"Aubrey," she said, "I don't know how much you know, or what Chloe has told you, but until you know my side of the story too, please just fuck off." She stared right back into Aubrey's glare, daring her to get into that conversation.

"Ok, Beca. This is not the time or place, but you will tell me. And if you have done this to Chloe, you will make it right. I won't let you get away with hurting my best friend like that." Aubrey seemed to gain a few inches in height as she drew herself up and folded her arms.

Whatever cocktail of emotions Beca was experiencing, Aubrey ill-informed threats drew only her anger.

"Chloe's your best friend? Really? You don't have a clue what happened Aubrey." Beca leaned her face forward, closer to Aubrey's and she lowered her voice as she continued, "Chloe didn't even tell you it as me, did she? You're going to have to find a much softer edge if you think Chloe is going to open up to you."

They had kept their voices appropriately low, given their location, but the stance each had taken facing the other and their hardened expressions said confrontation, and it attracted attention from nearby diners. Beca didn't gloat; it didn't feel especially satisfying to silence Aubrey. With her head lowered she just returned to her seat. Aubrey unfolded her arms and sat back down too.

The four of them stayed and ate a quick breakfast together. It was odd. Conversation came in spurts, awkward and inane, mostly without Beca's participation. Of necessity the topic of Chloe was excluded.

Beca was ready to get out of there. She was sleep deprived, feverish from dehydration and anxiety, and the coffee hadn't helped. She needed to get back to LA, to recover in her own space, and get back to her old routine to keep her well distracted. Potentially she had a new friendship to look forward to with Jesse, she was unlikely to cross paths with Aubrey ever again, and Stacie was just a phone call away whenever things got rough.

Their final goodbyes were quick and emotionless. Everyone was ready to get out of there.

 **oOoOo**

Chloe woke up and enjoyed a few moments of half-asleep unawareness before she remembered that phone call yesterday. She had gone way too far and she realised there was no going back - it was surely finished with Beca now. She wished she hadn't been so final when she said they shouldn't contact each other, and she had been dithered about adding the words 'at least not for a while', when Beca hung up on her.

After her morning routine, she dialled Ben's number - he was her number one shoulder to cry on. There was some pleading and sighing and almost some tears as she asked if they could meet right away. She hated how pitiful she sounded. He told her she'd have to come to his if it really was that urgent.

She started to cry when she turned on the radio in her car, even though she was tuned to a heavy metal station.

By the time she arrived at Ben's house, Chloe had stopped crying but the evidence was clear on her face. He opened the door and invited her in with just a nod of his head. She could hear the whirring from the fan in his laptop, and there were documents spread across the kitchen table. He was working and she was interrupting. She sat stiffly at one end the kitchen table, as he stood at the other end skimming through a pile of documents.

"I heard you got that promotion to the program development team. Congratulations," she said.

"Yeah, thanks," he said. He glanced in her direction then went back to his work. She folded her arms and looked at him but he was wilfully avoiding giving her his attention. And she knew why.

"Are you still upset about Atlanta?" she asked.

"Yep. Last minute cancellations are pretty inconvenient," he said, without interrupting his task and not even looking up at her this time.

"I'm sorry Ben. I had to."

She decided to cancel after she'd spoken to Aubrey. Some of the things she'd said to Aubrey about the recent ending of a relationship hadn't matched what she'd said to Ben a week earlier. Then she hadn't been completely honest when she gave Ben her list of reasons; her current lack of income and the fact that Beca might not even be there because the wedding was being organised on a tiny budget and for a bogus marriage and so she thought it unlikely that the Bellas would be so eager to attend this one. She could have easily found out if Beca was going or she could have called Beca anytime in the past weeks.

Her apology was barely acknowledged as he continued poring over the paperwork.

"She called me yesterday," Chloe said, speaking as though it was a question. He finally stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

"I guess I was wrong when I said I wasn't angry at her anymore," she said with a grimace. He nodded, though his face showed little emotion. She began recounting to him what she had interpreted as Beca's lack of any regret or culpability, and her flippant attitude. Her voice gained strength as she roasted Beca, until he bluntly revealed, "She called me too, you know."

"What? When?"

"Just after you left for Asia. She wanted to come and see you in New York." He scrutinised Chloe now, as she struggled to make sense of it. "You should have been there yesterday, she might have surprised you."

She couldn't argue. She didn't know what she felt; everything she thought she had worked out while she was away had unravelled in minutes when she heard Beca's voice on the phone. She had told Ben two weeks ago that she wasn't angry anymore. That had turned out to be very wrong.

He moved toward the end of the table where she was sitting. She smiled at him but he walked right past her, never meeting her eyes. He picked up a cup of coffee on the counter-top behind her and took a sip. He winced - it had gone cold, and he moved to the sink where he flung the cup into the basin with a clatter. His hands flattened against the counter-top and with his back now to Chloe, he took a deep breath and blew it out while shaking his head.

"It doesn't matter now. We both made it clear we will never talk to each other again," Chloe said.

"So why are **_we_** still talking about it, Chloe? So she's out of your life forever. That's what you wanted, right? Good for you!" He turned from the sink and they stared at each other, both surprised by Ben's vitriol.

"Chloe? I feel like I'm your counsellor, not your friend."

"I'm sorry." She repeated meekly.

"Maybe you should go, Chloe. This isn't a good time," He walked towards his door to open it, leaving her no option. As she left in silence he added "Call me when you are really done falling to pieces over Beca."


	20. Recovery - Part 1

The next few days were not good from Chloe. She slept late, unable to find any reason to get up. She had no job, Beca was gone from her life probably forever, and she might have ruined her friendship with Ben.

One lazy, unproductive day turned into four until she finally dragged herself to the gym. It was one habit she'd maintained since she started college. Working out had always been a stress reliever for her; from exam pressure at college, from pre performance nerves with the Bellas or from difficult students and parents at school. But she wasn't stressed now, she was miserable. A trip to the gym wasn't going to solve her problems but it helped shake her out of her depression. She was still feeling adrift, but at least now she had some motivation back.

She had limited options for work since the new school year had already started, and she hadn't done herself any favours when she resigned from her previous position so abruptly. Another stint volunteering overseas was the most obvious option, but the only reasons she could find to go were either because there were no other opportunities for her, or in order to run away, again. It didn't excite her, it wouldn't pay the bills and what would she gain by doing the same thing a second time? What she really needed was someone with whom she could talk through her options.

She couldn't call Ben, not yet. She was still in pieces over Beca.

Aubrey has sent her a message a few days after Flo's wedding - "I know it was Beca. Call me if you want to talk." A week after receiving it Chloe still hadn't texted back. She needed to resolve her own confusion about Beca before letting Aubrey influence it. And if she ever got to that place, it wasn't going to be a simple task to explain it to Aubrey, and there was also the matter of how she'd deliberately deceived Aubrey about the identity of the person who'd broken her heart. So Aubrey was not an option either.

Instead she chose to avoid the problem for a while. She allowed herself a month to figure it out alone, and to enjoy the freedom of not having to work. She set a productive but solitary routine filled with daily gym visits, small projects around her apartment and research into her future work options. During week one she was driven, and at the end of it the time had felt full and productive, and long. Her resolve started to fade in week two and by the beginning of week three she was bored of it and she was lonely too. Beca was still on her mind all the time, and spending this much time alone was not helpful. She didn't have to endure week four as Ben called her before it started.

She was a little anxious when she saw his name on the screen but as soon as she heard his friendly voice saying "Hello Chloe", that feeling disappeared.

"Ben, I've wanted to call you for ages but I wasn't sure if I should give it more time. I'm so glad you called."

How much did she need to talk right now, and not just about Beca? The past weeks had been an unnatural way for Chloe to spend her time. If she wanted something to lift her up, give her purpose in life or get her moving on, then for Chloe Beale that meant company. She needed to be around people - friends, work colleagues, students, even strangers. And she really needed purpose right now.

"I'm so glad you called," she repeated.

Even though he had spoken only two words to her so far, she knew this would be a reconciliation and she was the one that needed to apologise.

"I'm sorry for all the nonsense about Beca."

That would be an end to it, they were not going to talk about her again. She babbled on before he could respond, in order to leave the topic of Beca behind. It was the "shit sandwich" technique that she'd used in parent-teacher meetings a hundred times - don't end on the negative, or on the topic that you don't want to discuss. She suggested they resume their Sunday breakfast tradition and promised that the first one would be on her.

"Sunday sounds great," Ben said, "But about Beca - maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh the last time we saw each other but I really thought it was all going to end differently between you two."

He paused but she said nothing. Fair enough that he should get to have his say, but it didn't meant she had to make it a dialogue.

"You started getting cagey and being stubborn when I asked about her, and you made some pretty thoughtless decisions, and it wasn't you. You were bitter and mean and I didn't like it. It just wasn't you."

Ok, she deserved that.

"I know. I promise I'll stop banging on about her," she replied, intimating that should start from this very moment.

"I'm still your friend Chloe; you shouldn't feel that you can't talk about what's on your mind."

She hummed a non specific response. She didn't fully agree with that. Whatever surfaced in the future regarding Beca, she wouldn't involve him anymore. She was going to be his friend now, not his patient.

"Listen Chloe, there is another reason for my call. How is your job hunt going?"

Chloe didn't need much persuasion to accept the position in Ben's team. She was an obvious selection - she had experience working with the organisation and with Ben previously, and she had impressed during her volunteer role. For Chloe it would be an exciting new challenge, and the timing was right. It also meant no more belligerent kids and their difficult parents, and no more evenings or weekends spent correcting homework and writing reports.

Within a few weeks Ben told her that the job seemed to have had brought her back to the gregarious and generous person that he knew and loved. The ease with which they could work together, made them a successful team in the office and it helped with repariing their friendship outside of work. But there was a boundary to their friendship now around a particular subject. She had created the rule and she was enforcing it.

 **oOoOo**

The six months of Beca's life following Flo's wedding were spent trying not to think about Chloe, burying herself in work, spending time with Jesse and getting to know him again, and thinking about Chloe.

She continued taking on regular work assignments in New York and she enjoyed the travelling. It kept her schedule full and varied. Fortunately she had also managed to discreetly start charging her hotel bills to expenses, without exposing her imaginary girlfriend secret. Professionally and personally, the trips to New York were helping her move forward. For the first few months, she often worried about the unlikely scenario of running into Chloe in New York during one of her trips. What would they say to each other? Would it be best if they pretended not to notice or know the other? What would she say if Chloe asked why she was there in New York? Would it matter if she lied to Chloe now?

She kept in touch with Stacie only though occasional messages. Theirs was a crisis friendship, she now realised. Its pattern for some time had consisted only of Stacie supporting or counselling Beca, and its only topic was Beca and Chloe's now failed relationship. How would Stacie benefit from that kind of friendship? Beca would have liked to restore a balance to it, but she simply couldn't find time for it.

With Jesse there was less effort required. They lived in the same city and they worked to similar schedules, and so finding time to catch up for a quick drink or coffee was easy. They learned and adjusted to the expanding borders of the friendship. Gradually she told him more and more about what happened between her and Chloe. Their interactions switched between serious and fun, and they shared a limited tolerance for the serious.

When Jesse finally told her he was dating Aubrey, they initially handled it with humour. How else could they handle it? Beca didn't want to think too much about all the consequences of having a friend, someone she now considered a good friend, dating her nemesis. So she teased him mercilessly about the person Aubrey had been years ago at college, not the person at Flo's wedding, that Beca barely knew, who was defending her brokenhearted "best friend". It worked for him to. He wasn't going to talk about or defend Aubrey's behaviour towards Beca at the wedding so he allowed her to taunt him and just laughed all of it off.

Beca didn't figure out the Chloe connection right away. Jesse had to spell it out for her. It quickly reversed the conversation from fun to serious.

"Chloe called Aubrey, they talk a lot now," he said.

"That's gotta make things awkward with Aubrey?" she asked, instead of the question that had surfaced first - _About me?_

"We're not taking sides or colluding behind your backs. Chloe knows you and I hang out. She has to know that what she says to Aubrey could get back to you."

"Like what? What has Chloe said? What has she told Aubrey?" Beca didn't mean to sound so interested. She wished this news wasn't affecting her so much.

"She's back at work, she not seeing anyone, she's trying to move on but she still has some bad days."

She guessed he was filtering out the commentary that Aubrey added to the facts. "And what do you tell Aubrey about me?"

"Normal life stuff, nothing that you've said about Chloe. If you don't want me to say anything ..."

"No, that's Ok. Except obviously the mean stuff I've said about Chloe." She wasn't interested in sending any messages to Chloe or getting any from her but if Chloe was curious about her life now she didn't see a problem with that. Until she remembered one exception that had to remain hidden from Chloe.

"And New York. Don't ever mention that I go to New York for work."

This new friendship with Jesse had been going so well and she felt that talking with him had really helped with getting over Chloe. Now it was contaminated by Aubrey Posen, who wasn't going away. She was important to Jesse and she was a link to Chloe.

 **oOoOo**

Once she was settled into her new job, Chloe finally returned Aubrey's message. It wasn't the ideal choice but she needed someone to help her work through her issues with Beca. Aubrey was upfront from the start about her new relationship with Jesse and his connection to Beca. Chloe welcomed the news. To her, that link could be a catalyst for her healing, and maybe for Beca's too.

Their first few conversations were strained and mostly fruitless for Chloe, as she told Aubrey their story, starting from Cynthia Rose's wedding. The problem was that Aubrey was an overly loyal friend, one hundred percent on Chloe's side. She never judged Chloe the way she judged Beca. Aubrey validated every one of Chloe's swipes at Beca and insisted that Chloe never blame herself.

Chloe had to change the conversation. The next time they spoke, as soon as Aubrey started into her first cutting remarks about Beca, Chloe called her on it.

"Aubrey, you know that I really appreciate your support, but you can't just keep saying what a horrible bitch Beca is. That doesn't help me. I made shitty mistakes too, I'm responsible here too."

'I doubt that Chloe. She hasn't changed one bit." It wasn't helpful. The depth of Aubrey's contempt only pushed Chloe to defend Beca.

"Do you know why I didn't tell you it was her?" Chloe asked. Aubrey responded with a burst of laughter.

"I knew you wouldn't give her a chance. I needed you to be at least a little objective."

"Come on Chloe ..."

Aubrey wasn't getting it. In her frustration Chloe was tempted to rip into Aubrey about how bullheaded and petty she'd been when Beca's talent had threatened her control over the Bellas. But recent experience had taught Chloe to rein in those outbursts - she couldn't really afford to lose another friend right now. She toned down the emotion but covered the same facts. It shut Aubrey up.

When Aubrey finally responded, her voice was so unusually low that Chloe wasn't sure she heard her correctly.

"Say that again Aubrey."

"Beca said I should wait to hear her side of the story," she repeated.

"Did you talk to her about me at that wedding?"

Aubrey related her version of the events at Flo's wedding and the few interactions she had with Beca over that day and the following morning, when they had both been unapologetically hostile towards each other. She was struggling to relay the details impartially.

Chloe couldn't hold back a little laughter at the last part of the story. "She really told you to fuck off?"

"She stood up for herself and called me out for being quick to judge. I'll give her that." Aubrey said, dropping her usual harsh tone, and briefly laughing along with Chloe.

"What has Jesse said about her? Is she doing alright?"

Chloe missed Beca, but she had to accept that their story was almost certainly over. She wouldn't get hooked and lose herself again, but she was desperate to hear more about Beca.

Aubrey sighed.

"I'm not asking you to keep anything from Jesse. Tell him all about our conversations. I don't care," Chloe said.

"I haven't seen her, but I know they talk about you a lot."

It wasn't a comforting answer. It didn't tell Chloe what Beca was saying about her - is it all negative or is she starting to forgive? Not that Chloe was angling for reconciliation - she just wanted them both to be able to move past this, preferably without loathing each other.

 **oOo**

The months passed and Chloe found she was reasonably content. Her work was demanding and fulfilling and often kept her either too busy or too tired to dwell on other things.

However she still devoured the scraps about Beca that filtered through via Aubrey. Mostly it was about Beca's work - crazy, crazy busy all the time, or her relationship status - not dating anyone, doesn't seem to be looking. Chloe wanted more - Is she happy? Is she moving on? Does she understand how much she hurt me? Does she hate me now?

Aubrey and Chloe still disagreed at times over Beca, but as Chloe had revealed more of their story, Aubrey had relented in some of her opinions. She was unconvinced by Chloe explanation and justification for why she bolted off to Asia after the reunion. Chloe didn't like Aubrey's assessment that it had been "stupid and unfair to Beca", but at least Aubrey was being even-handed now in judging that both of them were responsible for what had happened.

Chloe was deeply ashamed as she filled in her part in the story of Flo's wedding; the part when she lost it and said every hurtful thing possible to Beca. She prepared for the tirade from Aubrey. She didn't need to.

"No wonder Beca tried to drink her body weight in booze that night," was Aubrey's response.


	21. Recovery - Part 2

As the months passed Beca found she was often daydreaming about bumping into Chloe in the street or in a restaurant in New York, and imagining what they would say to each other. In her fantasy they acted like old friends, with their romantic history forgotten. Sometimes it was less of a daydream and more of a plan. She knew where Chloe worked. She could wait outside her building or maybe watch from across the street. Just to see her. But she didn't have the time to skip out on work for a couple of hours to stalk an ex, and she probably didn't have the guts either.

Every time Jesse had second hand news about Chloe, he passed it on without a second thought. Beca never stopped him but she kept her external reactions neutral.

Chloe's loving her new job? - "Great. She wanted to get out of the classroom."

Chloe's visiting friends in Atlanta this weekend? - "That should be fun for her."

Chloe had a date last week and it didn't go very well? - "Too bad. But it's good that she's dating and she won't have any trouble finding someone."

It comforted Beca to hear about Chloe's life even if she wasn't part of it anymore. But it still hurt her too. She was always at her most vulnerable in the days after a trip to New York. Lonely evenings in hotels, knowing Chloe was somewhere nearby in the same city, were still tough. She typically avoided Jesse for a few days after she got back from one of those trips.

The one time that she needed him to give her a ride from the airport, she figured she could tough it out for a thirty minute car journey. She'd be tired and he would understand if she dozed in the car. But he had to share something Aubrey had told him about Chloe - some cute story about running into a former student who had cried when she didn't come back that year. On this occasion, hearing about Chloe hurt enough for Beca to relent and ask for more.

"Does Chloe ever ask Aubrey about me?" It had been over six months since Flo's wedding and she hadn't sounded this pathetic in a long time.

"I'm sure she does. Aubrey thinks Chloe is still struggling to get over it."

"She misses you," he said. Beca squeezed her eyes shut. In the darkness of the car she allowed herself to feel how sad the words made her.

"But that's just Aubrey speculating. Listen, why don't you come round for dinner with us next week and you can talk about it with Aubrey?"

"That's very funny," she replied with even more than her usual sarcasm.

"I'm serious. Aubrey knows it's not all your fault. And you can't avoid her forever."

"The last time I saw her I told her to fuck off," she reminded him, "And we never really got on, that history is hard to forget." _And I hate that Chloe confides in her._

"We've all grown up now. Relationships change. Look at us."

She was quiet for a while. "Yeah, look at us," she repeated. When they stopped at a light she leaned over towards him urgently. "Did I push you away, Jesse? Chloe says I don't let anyone get close to me."

"No, you didn't push me away, no more than I pushed you away. We had a good relationship, then we both outgrew it. You're not bad at this. Chloe was just trying to hurt you when she said that, because she was hurting too."

"I think Alex, my ex, would agree with Chloe. He said I kept him at a distance too."

"You were burying your feelings for Chloe."

She waited for the biting comment that would surely bubble up and spontaneously escape her mouth. But there wasn't one, she had nothing. They drove on in silence. When he stopped the car outside her apartment building, she opened the door but before getting out she turned back to him.

"Were you surprised when you heard about me and Chloe getting together?"

"Maybe a little, but I'd say me and Aubrey getting together was a bigger shock for you to handle."

She chuckled. "I guess the old drill sergeant can't be all bad if you put up with her." But there was still no chance she would be talking to Aubrey any time soon.

 **oOo**

The topic of Aubrey became tolerable between Jesse and Beca but little was off limits on the subject of Chloe. Beca had to grow more resilient to Jesse's teasing but she really didn't care for his persistent, genuine suggestions that she should contact Chloe while she was in New York. There was just no way. She did not enjoy how he toyed with her when he had another titbit from Aubrey about Chloe. It was her own fault, in the car that night she'd shown him that she still cared. Every time she would act as though she were entirely indifferent about whatever he knew, as he continued to bait her, until finally she would ask while pretending it was only to placate him.

When Aubrey passed on the best piece of bait so far, Jesse badgering Beca through calls and messages, insisting that they had to meet as soon as possible. She was irritated by the games they played and the intrusion of Aubrey and Chloe in every conversation they had nowadays. It wasn't what she had wanted their friendship to be. Now every time she saw Jesse, she heard something about Chloe, and it reminded her that her pain hadn't changed that much in eight months.

After a few days of his pestering, she reluctantly agreed to meet for a drink after work. It meant leaving the studio earlier than she had planned and an early start to make up for it the following morning. Her mood was not improved when she saw his smug face.

"I've got some pretty interesting news about Chloe," he said pushing a beer across the table in front of her. A beer she hadn't asked for.

"She's getting married?" Beca deadpanned.

"No, guess again."

He slowly lifted his beer and took a sip. Then he leaned over to take a clean coaster from the adjacent table and took his time centring the bottle down on it. She rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

"Just spit it out Jesse."

"She's here, in LA."

Beca said nothing at first. Her eyes darted around and she gripped the side of the table. She hadn't expected that it would make her so uneasy.

"I can't see her," she said. She assumed that there would be an attempt to get her and Chloe together for a reconciliation or an intervention. "Give me a call when she's gone home." She made a move to get up and walk out.

"No Beca, she lives here now."

 **oOoOo**

Chloe loved working for LFA. She loved the work they did, that it made a difference, that she made a difference. She had achieved all she could in her current role and she had her eye on a position like Ben's, where she could have more influence and responsibility. She asked Ben how she might be able to advance without having to executing a devious plan to surreptitiously try to take his job.

At that time Chloe hadn't known about the plans to open an office in LA. She didn't know that Ben had been involved in discussions to split the business across the two locations before the news was communicated to all employees in the organisation. She didn't know that he had wanted to endorse her for a position there or that after she mentioned her ambitions he'd gone ahead and nominated her without her knowledge anyway.

When he invited her to the conference room a few weeks later for a meeting and tried to sell it to her, he first explained how the job he was offering her would fit perfectly with what she wanted, and moreover how a start up office would give even more opportunities to gain experience in many other facets of the organisation. So far it was the standard speech for all the meetings with relocating staff. It was an easy sell until he finished with "The thing is, you would have to move, to LA."

By then the news of the new office was a badly kept secret around the office and once Ben had started his spiel Chloe already knew how it was going to end. When she joined LFA she had ticked the 'Willing to relocate' box, never expecting it would create this scenario. Why did LA have to be the catch? She should have been really excited about this job.

"LA? Really? Are you fucking kidding me, Ben?"

"I know, the location might seem unfortunate, but that's where the opportunity is. You have to look at this from a career point of view Chloe. The executives think you're the right candidate - experienced, ambitious and mobile."

He reached into a folder on the table to pull out a stack of papers and he started separating the copies into two piles.

"Don't turn this down just because the woman who broke your heart lives there. Besides it's a big place, you are unlikely to bump into her in the street," he said without looking up.

Chloe knew she had to take the job. And while she might not bump into Beca in the street, she would be hard to avoid because of the Aubrey and Jesse link.

"The contract is for a year so if you don't want to stay on, for whatever reason, there will still be a job for you back here in New York. Ok?" Ben said. He passed her copy of the contract across the table.

"Of course I'm going to accept it Ben. This job is perfect for me, but it also complicates my life." She picked up the document and started scanning through it.

"Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps it would help if you look her up when you get there."

"We'll see. I'll work it out," she replied politely, clearly ending the personal aspect of the discussion.

Once they had worked through the preliminary details of the contract and timeframes, Chloe returned to her desk.

She sat there unproductively for the rest of the morning, thinking about her new job and daydreaming about running into Beca in a store or a restaurant in LA. She imagined both of them too overwhelmed, unable to suppress the happy emotions to see each other. They would hug and cry and apologise to each other over and over, but she didn't let it play out any further.

 **oOo**

She had 6 weeks to prepare, six weeks until she boarded the flight to LA. She had an extra day off each week and an apartment would be provided for her in LA for the first few months, but still it was barely enough time to prepare for the move, and it suited her to let it keep her distracted. There was no time to rethink the decision or reflect on the future beyond her departure date. She was solely focused on getting everything done before she got on that flight. She insisted that she didn't have the time right now to dwell on what it might be like to live in the same city as Beca.

She withheld the news of the relocation from Aubrey at first, not wishing to follow where that conversation would inevitably lead. Then, with two weeks until her departure she casually mentioned it, downplaying the permanence of the move and explaining that her stay would be "only until the new office is up and running". Aubrey didn't seem to notice any deceit, she was simply too excited that they would see each other soon.

The departure day arrived quickly and Ben insisted on driving her to the airport. In the car they tried and failed to talk enthusiastically about the life that awaited Chloe in LA. Once she had checked in, they stood awkwardly in the departures hall, stuck between drawing this goodbye out or trying to make it quick.

"I'm going to miss you Chloe," he said blinking away the early warning of tears. Faking irritation he continued, "Dammit, now I have to find another crazy soul to share her love sick stories with me."

She just laughed. He had listened to her crying and pining over Beca and then ripping her apart. He usually called her on her shit and they had survived a significant falling out. She was happy he was the one seeing her off.

"Until recently that is, when you went all sensible and boring. You'll need to shake that up in LA, spread you wings," he effused with an open arms gesture.

Chloe thought to herself how that was just like something Beca might do in this situation.

"I'm going to miss you too Ben." She gave him a quick hug, anything more would have turned this into a lengthy crying session.

"And we will still be working together. And it's only for a year," she said. They stood there, waiting and waiting and not saying anything more, before she finally walked away towards the departure gate.

"Call me when you get there," he yelled after her, "and then call Beca."


	22. Revival - Part 1

"She lives here?" Beca repeated as she quickly sat back down.

"Yes Beca, she lives here. She got a transfer or a promotion or something at work," She gaped at him wide eyed. She realised she was suppressing a smile.

"Oh! I hope you didn't think I was saying that she moved here for you."

"Have you met me? I'm Beca - sarcastic, cynical, not a romantic cell in my body."

Beca wasn't getting lost in any daydream, but she wasn't able to hide the fact that she found the news interesting at the least. Guessing at her thoughts, Jesse mused out loud.

"She had to have been thinking about you before making the decision to move. She had to know it would mean you would be back in her life."

Beca continued to fight with the smile that was pulling at her lips. It was unavoidable now, her path would inevitably cross Chloe's soon.

"I think she likes that she still has the connection to you, however tenuous it is. Same as you like having the connection to her," Jesse said.

Hearing about Chloe's life for the past months had been like managing a drug habit, and while she'd been thinking a lot about seeing Chloe again, now that she was confronted with the real possibility, she wasn't so sure how to handle it. It wouldn't be like in her imagined chance encounters in New York. And it wasn't going to start with Chloe calling her. Despite the positive speculation and persuasion coming from Jesse, Beca still couldn't ignore the finality and devastation of the last time she's spoken to Chloe. Nor could she forget how she'd not recognised that person hurling abuse at her down the phone.

This news also meant that she would soon cross paths with Aubrey too. Beca still had not seen her, not since Flo's wedding. Through Jesse, Aubrey had kept inviting her to join them for dinner and Beca never intended to accept. Jesse and Beca had a routine for this initial part of almost all their conversations. He would relay Aubrey's invitation and she would politely decline. And from there the subject was dropped. Now Beca had to prepare for seeing Aubrey too and similarly, despite Jesse's reassurances and the fact that he was dating her, Beca still predicted a likely conflict.

 **oOo**

It only took three weeks before they were forced to face each other again. Beca knew that Jesse's birthday was coming up and she planned to avoid attending any celebration that included Aubrey. She would take him to dinner another day to celebrate. But Aubrey, being the tricky schemer, had sent a formal invite to his birthday celebration to Beca in the mail. Of course Chloe would be invited too, and neither of them would be able to give a credible reason to decline. "I'm skipping my friend's birthday party because I 'm not ready to see Chloe and I don't want to see Aubrey" would not be a very grown up way to react. So she would have to go.

Beca's intention was to stay for one drink, have one brief, polite conversation with Aubrey and Chloe, and leave. When Beca entered the bar, she noticed Aubrey gesturing to Jesse to stay where he was as she rushed over before Beca had even taken off her jacket. Seeing the tall blonde approaching, Beca was suddenly more nervous to see Aubrey that she was to see Chloe. Before saying anything, Aubrey hugged her warmly. As they released from the embrace, Aubrey smiled and rested her hands gently just above Beca's elbows. Beca was stunned, unable to find words.

"I'm glad you came Beca, it's good to see you again. I hope we'll get a chance to catch up properly tonight."

Beca was still silent, just nodding like a misbehaving child confused as to why she was being rewarded instead of punished. She couldn't help looking over Aubrey's shoulder - searching around the room for Chloe.

"Chloe's not here yet," Aubrey said, "Listen I know tonight will be awkward and difficult for both of you, but I really hope you'll be able to have a good time."

"Thanks, Aubrey. I wasn't expecting you to be so ..."

"I know. Maybe we can talk later? Just try to enjoy yourself - I'm not going to give you a hard time." Aubrey let go of Beca's arms and led her towards Jesse.

Beca's plan was already scuppered. Perplexed and unprepared, she followed Aubrey deeper into the room.

 **oOo**

Beca was chatting with Jesse and she had her back to the entrance of the bar when Chloe turned up thirty minutes later. He said nothing, but Beca knew from the change in his expression that he had seen Chloe arrive. She turned around and they both looked on as Aubrey approached Chloe the same way she had with Beca earlier, with the same purposeful strut. Beca blatantly continued watching the interaction between Chloe and Aubrey. Aubrey was touching Chloe's arm and nodding while Chloe appeared to be gravely explaining something. Finally Aubrey spoke briefly and then they both looked up and saw Beca watching. After a second both Chloe and Beca looked away.

For an hour Beca stole the briefest glances at Chloe and she felt Chloe doing the same. But they were keeping their distance. They each had their own zone, a area of the bar far enough away from the other's, where they could relax. Jesse brought guests into Beca's zone for introductions while Aubrey brought them to Chloe's.

When Chloe seemed absorbed in a conversation with a group of Aubrey's work colleagues, Beca took the opportunity to look at her for more than just a fraction of a second. When Beca observed Chloe's face she thought she saw a masked sadness. The smile on Chloe's face wasn't the unrestrained effusive one that Beca knew. It stirred the same feeling of sadness in Beca for a moment, before she remembered the last things Chloe had said to her. Anger flared and replaced any sadness. Chloe looked over at her at that moment and saw it. Her face hardened too as she held the stare. Then Beca looked away while Chloe excused herself from the group and left in the direction of the bathroom.

When Beca went to the bar a short time later, she had lost awareness of Chloe's location, but the rules had been established. Chloe would stay in her designated corner of the bar, and Beca in hers. She would find a moment to cross the line for a brief salutation, after one more drink. She was almost at the bar when she saw Chloe there, standing alone, just a few meters from her. It wasn't too late to turn around, but Beca didn't waver. She took the spot beside Chloe at the bar, but leaving a generous space between them.

"Hi Chloe, how are you?" she asked, while trying to catch the bartender's attention at the same time.

"I'm fine Beca, how are you?"Chloe answered politely, impassively.

"Good," Beca said, then ordered her drink with barely a pause.

"So how do you like living LA?" Beca asked, turning her head towards the other woman but keeping her gaze low.

It's good so far, but I haven't really explored the city much yet," Chloe said, then quickly tacked on "work is keeping me very busy."

"Yeah, I don't have much free time outside work either."

They still hadn't looked each other in the eye when the bartender returned and put a glass of wine in front of Chloe.

"You look great Beca, and it really is nice to see you," Chloe said to the stack of coasters on the bar, then she picked up her drink to leave.

"It's good to see you too Chloe, I hope everything goes well for you in LA." It halted Chloe's exit, and she finally turned to look directly at Beca. Now facing each other, Beca again felt that mixture of sadness and anger, but also longing. They lingered until Beca's drink arrived.

As they turned to return to their respective zones, Beca felt all eyes in the bar on them. They glanced at each other once more. Beca rolled her eyes and shook her head and Chloe laughed lightly in response. Then they continued in their opposite directions.

Beca watched Chloe leave twenty minutes later. Aubrey had fetched Chloe's coat and had led her to the exit. She had only said goodbye to Aubrey, clearly wanting to leave unnoticed. But Beca noticed. She continued a boring conversation about the music industry with some of Jesse's co-workers until she had finished her drink, then she went to find Jesse and Aubrey to say goodbye. She left quickly, only saying that she was tired.

She wasn't tired - in fact she was wide awake when she arrived home and she was unlikely to get much sleep that night. She took out her phone, and without over-thinking it she began to write a text to Chloe.

Beca M [23:30] : I left 15 minutes after you. Did you feel like you were under surveillance too?

Chloe was typing, so she was still awake too, possibly also too shaken to sleep.

Chloe B [23:32] : Yes I did. It was uncomfortable.

Chloe was typing more now. Beca waited, staring at her phone. She felt a little sick.

Chloe B [23:33] : But I meant what I said – it was good to see you. Maybe we could meet and talk sometime, without the audience?

Beca exhaled and the nausea disappeared. She couldn't help smiling. She wasn't sure this was the best idea but after this evening she knew there was unfinished business between them - maybe closure, maybe something else, but this wasn't the end.

Beca M [23:33] : Ok, what about a coffee next weekend?

 **oOo**

It was a pleasant morning on Saturday and Beca decided to walk to the cafe where she had arranged to meet Chloe. She arrived a few minutes early, and from the window she could see that the cafe was busy. She waited on the sidewalk until Chloe arrived, and suggested that they take a walk instead of going inside. They walked towards a nearby park, the whole time making distracting small talk. The questions then asked each other made their conversation sound like the a tour guide or the start of an awkward blind date; what's the weather like in summer here? Is the traffic always this bad? Where are you living? Do you like it there? Tell me about your work.

The reached a relatively quiet corner of the park where a kiosk was just opening. Beca offered to buy them coffee while Chloe claimed one of the empty benches nearby.

They sat sipping their coffees, looking out at the weak stream of water spitting from the fountain on the tiny artificial lake in front of them.

"We'll have to find a way to get along Beca," Chloe said, finally cutting the tension.

"I know." With her free hand Beca rubbed the back of her neck. Chloe just took another sip of coffee while still calmly looking out at the sad water feature.

"Right now, I don't want to talk any more about what happened between us. I think we said everything on the phone that day," Beca said.

Chloe turned to look at her and sighed before returning to her coffee. Beca didn't know what that meant.

"It's going to take time, to feel like I can forgive you," Beca continued. Then in a less confident tone she added "I mean, to forgive each other."

"Yes, it will take time.

"Beca?" Chloe spoke almost threateningly, but continued looking only forward, "We can't ever make that mistake again. I just want us to try to be friends again."

Beca nodded, enough that Chloe could see it in her peripheral vision. Neither attempted to break the ongoing silence that followed, as they remained seated, one at each end of the park bench, quickly sipping at their drinks until they both reached the bottom of the take away cups.

"I better go, I'll see you soon," Chloe said as she stood up. It had been only twenty minutes since they met outside the cafe.

"Ok. Call me, or I'll call you, soon," Beca replied. She didn't get up as Chloe walked away.


	23. Revival - Part 2

"It's just dinner Beca. And it'll just be the four of us," Jesse said.

"And Chloe has agreed to go?"

"Yes, Chloe's on board - actually it was her idea!"

It had been two weeks since they'd met for that quick coffee and although there had been some texts between them in that time, neither had yet made any plans to meet again.

Beca had found Chloe's calmness and the near silence between them in the park that day disconcerting. But she did want to see Chloe again. This dinner idea with Jesse and Aubrey also present was perfect, and since it had been Chloe's idea that meant that she had wanted to see Beca again too.

 **oOo**

That first dinner together went as well as could be expected. It didn't take long for Beca to begin to suspect the trap that Jesse and Aubrey had set for both her and Chloe. How had she, with her epic cynicism, fallen for it? Of course it hadn't been Chloe's idea. Chloe was probably tricked by Aubrey in half a heartbeat, just as Beca had willingly been duped by Jesse.

Beca conceded that they had done a impressive job in their setup. The restaurant was noisy and busy leaving no space for uncomfortable silences and no lack of distractions with so many large groups of raucous young professionals clearly out for a big night.

Beca and Chloe only talked about whatever Aubrey and Jesse brought up, which was always a relatively benign topic and always skirted any talk about their shared past. Their crafty hosts had done their homework to make this evening work, or at least not let it turn ugly. Throughout the evening Beca was polite to Chloe, and Chloe reciprocated, which was easy with Jesse and Aubrey dominating the conversation, and treated the two of them like they had just been introduced to each other for the first time that night.

However, Beca never really felt at ease at any time in Chloe's company that evening. She couldn't avoid estimating and counting down how long until the night would be over, and she also stressed about the moment when they would have to say goodbye at the end of the night. Would Chloe try to touch her or hug her? How would she respond if she did? What should she say to Chloe? Something positive about the night or a compliment about how she looked? Were Jesse and Aubrey expecting them to go it alone after tonight and make plans to see each other again?

In the end Chloe let her dictate how they handled the moment. Beca's indecision about whether to make any physical contact or not, and the problem of choosing the right words, resulted in a hasty and awkward goodbye. She said "see you soon Chloe" but without a plan or a promise to call. Chloe made no offer either.

Beca felt a sense of relief when she left the restaurant but she was also pleased that they had taken this first step. It would get easier, and they would find a way to get along.

She and Chloe were fortunate to have Jesse and Aubrey to act as their mediators. Those two had handled their damaged guests with a considered delicacy all night. So when Jesse suggested making it a regular event, Beca didn't hesitate, and she never bailed him up for tricking her into it the first time.

The routine was established right away. Every two weeks the four of them went out to dinner together at a different restaurant, always of Aubrey's choice. It was the only time that Beca and Chloe spent together - Jesse and Aubrey's presence provided a comfortable buffer and a plausible reason not to initiate any other plans together. It suited Beca. She was still apprehensive about being alone with Chloe.

It also suited Beca that Chloe flagrantly avoided any physical contact. Even when Jesse and Aubrey greeted both of them with hugs or kisses, they limited their salutations to each other to words. Chloe was also following Beca's lead in always trying to select the larger tables in restaurants and they never sat next to each other.

After half a dozen of their nights out, Beca noticed that the delicacy of Jesse and Aubrey's touch was waning. Whether that was a strategic decision by them or not she couldn't tell, but it would have been impossible to continue ignoring the elephant in the room.

Things were slowly getting a little warmer between her and Chloe and when any past hurt was exposed for either of them, they were able to avoid getting into an argument and they never raised their voices at each other. But many topics could lead to potentially hazardous territory. Besides the obvious like any of the Bella's weddings, or the reunion, or Chloe's volunteer experience overseas, other presumed innocuous subjects acted as triggers. Even a throwaway remark could be misunderstood as a veiled affront, and the discussion of any current beaus, or belles, for either Chloe or Beca was understood all round to be off the table for the foreseeable future.

When Chloe was affected by something Beca said, whether intended innocently or not, Chloe's response was to exit soon after. She would leave without a fuss after producing an excuse of tiredness, or a forgotten task, or a very minor health concern. For Beca, if she thought she had been slighted she would disengage and become introspective - sulking Chloe would say, for the rest of the evening. Neither ever made a scene, they were always polite but distant. The source of these reactions was never discussed and by the next dinner, it would be forgotten.

It was some sort of progress. They were seeing each other every other week and having normal conversations but it wasn't going to resolve their issues in a hurry.

 **oOo**

Beca still made time to hang out alone with Jesse. Now that Aubrey and Chloe had a physical presence in her life, they had a smaller presence in conversations between her and Jesse. A smaller presence, but still present.

They usually went to a bar together but she had let him cajole her, this one last time, into going to the movies together, as he still tried to persuade her that movies are not boring and predictable. And that romantic movies are not all unrealistic.

"Have you seen Chloe recently?" he asked casually while stuffing some popcorn into his mouth. They were surrounded by other cinema patrons in the foyer of the theatre.

"Not since the last time we all went for dinner." Surely he knew that.

"Really? You don't see her outside of our double dates?"

"Don't call them double dates," she said, disconnecting each word, and trying to find the right tone between a little peeved and completely furious that would make him take notice. He just gave her a sly smile.

"No. Not yet," she continued, "but I will call her soon. We still have a few things to talk about."

She and Chloe had been acting like friends of friends and they hadn't talked at all about what had happened between them. Beca knew that conversation would have to take place for them to really make any progress. Perhaps it would lead them to realise there was still nothing left to salvage between them, but they both still needed some resolution for the abrupt and brutal manner in which they were driven to stop speaking to each other.

Beca would need Chloe to admit to how cruel she'd been in what she'd said about her that day. Beca needed to know that that hadn't been the real Chloe. That unrecognisable version of her had existed only for that fleeting moment when she lashed out. And she did have good reason to lash out - Beca had been a complete dick to her.

Beca didn't think that Chloe needed to know the whole truth about those weeks after the reunion. If Beca told her, she couldn't imagine any reaction that would be helpful to the progress of a friendship. The humiliation of those first months of lonely nights in expensive New York hotels wasn't something she wanted to share either. Only Stacie knew, even Jesse never heard the full version of the story. It was history now anyway and it had already been too late by the time she signed the contract.

For Beca, the memory of the night she'd spent alone in Emily's bed at the end of the reunion refused to go away. She had been so desperately close to calling Chloe that evening but instead decided to wait. She now believed that was the moment she'd lost Chloe - in those hours of inaction after Chloe had said she loved her.

"So Aubrey wants to go to some new club that's opened recently. I think she said Chloe's keen too. We might do that instead of dinner next week. You in?"

Beca didn't find anything suspect about the suggestion. The buffer of Jesse and Aubrey was still there, plus the extra buffer of loud music and an open space. It would be easier without the necessity to sit less than two meters from each other or for constant conversation.

"Sure, sounds good," she said.

 **oOo**

Initially it felt similar to when they hung out together for dinner. The four of them had a few drinks at the club. Then they had a few more drinks. It was only when Aubrey insisted they all hit the dance floor that Beca remembered how it made her feel when she watched Chloe dance. She was aware that she was leering, but she certainly wasn't the only one in the room whose attention was caught by the redhead. Chloe was used to being watched on a dance floor. She didn't seek the attention - she danced the way she always did, whoever was with her.

Beca saw Chloe smirking at her. She had been caught. They didn't move closer, they wouldn't dare touch each other but to any observer in the club, they were openly checking each other out.

Jesse and Aubrey exchanged a smile followed by a furtive nodding of heads. They headed towards the bar, prompting the other two to also stop dancing and blindly follow them.

"I have to go into the office for a couple of hours tomorrow morning so I'm going to have to call it a night. This was a great idea though, let's do it again soon," Aubrey said, immediately grabbing Jesse's hand to make their exit.

"See you guys soon," Jesse yelled back as he was being dragged away.

Beca was playing with fire now and she loved it. She turned to Chloe and grabbed her wrist, pulling her up from her seat. "Let's go dance!" She felt a little resistance from Chloe to move, and she noticed how Chloe hesitated before agreeing with a reluctant "Ok".

Beca's conclusions from this night so far were; that Jesse and Aubrey were no longer hiding their intentions - they were setting her and Chloe up not just to resolve their issues but to get back together; that she was still really, really attracted to Chloe; that Chloe wasn't going to let anything happen between them and that she might not have been as resistant as Chloe on that issue.

She was being impulsive and it could lead to something they'd both regret. It would be better to follow Chloe's caution.

"Maybe we should call it a night too. You look a bit tired," Beca said.

"Thanks Beca, I think that's a good idea."

They left the club through the quieter exit door which dropped them into a pedestrian plaza. From there they would need to walk around the block to get to where they could catch a cab. They stumbled a little, reacting to the fresh air filling their lungs after a few drinks, and they bumped shoulders occasionally as they walked. Then Chloe linked their arms loosely. Beca relaxed into the touch - it was just what Chloe would do with any of her friends.

Beca had to let go of Chloe to throw an arm out and signal an approaching cab.

"You take this one Chloe, there's another one just behind," Beca said.

"Ok, thanks," Chloe opened the car door with one hand and put the other on Beca's shoulder, which drew them a little closer together. They both had taken a step nearer to the other.

Beca smiled and inadvertently her hand reached towards Chloe in response, gently taking hold at her waist. If one of them leaned in before the other it was impossible to detect. The kiss lasted no more than a few seconds, and their hands did not move from where they were connected with the other. It was the most timid kiss they ever shared. Chloe dropped into the back of the cab, smiling up at Beca.

"Goodnight Chloe," Beca leaned down slightly, holding the cab door open.

"Goodnight Beca," Chloe returned as Beca pushed the door closed.


	24. Revival - Part 3

The following morning, before Beca had fully woken up, before her eyes were even open, she was aware of the words "Chloe and I kissed last night" from somewhere inside her head. Before she thought about it, what she felt about it or what it might mean, she reached for her phone on the nightstand. She had two messages - one from Jesse and one from Chloe.

Jesse S [8.10]: How was the rest of your night?

She scoffed at his message. Let him fish. Let him think what he wants.

Beca M [9.03]: Uneventful. Went home 5 minutes after you guys.

Chloe B [8.45]: Can you call me when you get this?

 **oOoOo**

Despite the late night and the after-effects of a few drinks, Chloe started her Saturday with an early morning visit to the gym. She was home by 8.30 and the workout had allowed her to clear her mind and focus on her intent for the rest of the morning. She had made enough drunken mistakes in her life to become adept and assured about cleaning them up promptly the next day. This was just another one and not a very big one. It was only a kiss, a very brief kiss. She picked up her phone and set about her task. She didn't have to wait long for Beca to call her back.

"Hey Beca, what are you up to today?" Chloe asked.

"Listen Chloe, we shouldn't have, you know, last night..." Beca had launched right into it. It would have been obvious that this was the reason Chloe had asked her to call, but she expected they would dance around it for a while with small talk.

"No we shouldn't have but I think I know why it happened."

"Chloe, we haven't talked at all. I have to get some things of my chest, and I need you to hear them. I expect you feel the same way?"

The rest of their conversation was completed with the addition of a pause between each switch from one speaker to the other.

"Why don't you come over to my apartment?" Beca said.

"Right now?"

"Yes."

"Alright. I could leave here in about an hour?"

"Ok. I'll text you the address."

A succinct and effective conversation with Beca about a thorny subject, which Beca had driven. Chloe could recall that happening too often.

 **oOo**

Chloe followed the GPS directions and parked outside the large modern apartment building where the route ended. She buzzed Beca's number and the door clicked opened, accompanied by a "hey Chloe, come on in" through the intercom. As she entered the building she noticed her surroundings more than usual - the simple style, the neutral colours and the immaculate cleanliness of the building, the clacking sounds her heels made on the tiles when she walked across the reverberant lobby, and the untouched mirrored walls inside the silent, smoothly accelerating elevator. She tried to imagine the design layouts of the apartments, but mostly she was curious to see Beca's home now, to see how she lived.

Outside Beca's apartment, she took a breath before knocking. When she did, the door swung open almost immediately.

"Hi, come in."

Chloe stepped in past Beca as she was closing the door, and glanced at the hall table in an alcove to the right. On top of the table were a set of keys, a telephone, a neat pile of mail and three framed photos. The first photo was familiar to Chloe - it was the same one she kept in a similar location in her home, of the Bellas on stage in Copenhagen. The second photo was a group of eight people including Beca, all smiling and hoisting champagne flutes. Chloe didn't recognise any of the others. Work colleagues, she guessed. The last frame contained what was obviously a stock photo - a beach scene with a couple walking on the sand in the distance. Chloe wondered had Beca bought a set of three frame and then realised she couldn't find a third photo from her life significant enough to put on display? Or could it be that a photo had been removed from the frame? Or was it Beca's idea of a joke? Chloe didn't comment on it as Beca led her to the open plan living and dining area.

It was modern and minimally decorated, but what caught Chloe's attention was the lack of anything personal on display; no book shelves, no adornments, no art on the walls, no other framed photos. The only clue that distinguished it from a holiday rental or hotel suite was a monthly planner attached to the fridge door. Scanning it quickly as she walked past, Chloe thought she picked out last night's dinner with Jesse and Aubrey, a dentist appointment and a few entries with a name and a time or a phone number. When she felt Beca's presence at her back she stepped away from the kitchen area towards the living space and turned around.

"You invited me to your apartment!" Chloe stated brightly.

"I was trying to be gutsy, so we can't hide in public. And I can't run away - I live here." Beca gestured to the sofa while she went to the kitchen.

Chloe sat at the end of the sofa closest to the kitchen where she could try to make out the details on the planner. When Beca opened the fridge door, it moved the page a few inches closer, making it fractionally easier to make out the words. She only had a few seconds. She clearly saw the name Kyle with a phone number and a time that was either 3pm or 8pm. A business meeting or a date? She also glimpsed what looked like a flight code and a time, but the fridge door was closing before she could focus her eyes on it.

Beca poured two glasses of water and Chloe watched her, guessing at what other ways she might try to fill time waiting for Chloe to start the conversation. Chloe didn't say thanks when Beca handed her the glass, she just tipped her head slightly. But it wasn't unnerving Beca like she thought it would, and when Beca started speaking before she'd even sat down, Chloe wasn't expecting it.

"Chloe, we are acting like exes tolerating each other for the sake of our mutual friends. And it's breaking my heart all over again. It's so hard being around you, feeling like shit because you are still so angry with me.

"Last night when we were dancing I was able to forgot our past for a while, and it was wonderful. It felt like I really was your friend again."

Beca took a drink of water before continuing.

"So I am very sorry Chloe. I never meant to hurt you, or let you think that I didn't care, or that I wasn't thinking about you all the time."

"How did you not work out that that's exactly what it looked like?"Chloe said calmly, "In those weeks after the reunion Beca, how did you not see that? I really needed something, anything, from you."

"I thought you were giving me time. You had in the past."

Chloe restrained the almost automatic reaction to those words - the 'more time' line still grated. She would try not to react to it and she pressed on.

"The more I think about the reunion, the more I realise that perhaps I was seeing things that weren't there. We never made any commitment. We never talked about what would happen after."

"What did you see that wasn't there?" Beca asked. So far they were both remaining civil but Chloe couldn't see that lasting for the duration of this talk.

"That we wanted the same thing. You never lied to me - you never said it was anything more. Maybe you assumed it was just sex."

"I didn't. Of course I didn't. Fuck you Chloe," Beca said without raising her voice, sounding more surprised than angry.

"But it wouldn't have been an unreasonable assumption, for either of us to make," Chloe continued, actively ignoring the swearing, "How could it have continued? And maybe you could see that and maybe you were trying to make me see it too, every time you backed out of a conversation," Chloe said.

"You backed out of them too Chloe. I thought you were giving me time."

She had said it yet again. Was that the only explanation she had? She had to know it how weak that reasoning was.

"That was pretty convenient for you to think that, Beca."

"What reasons did you give me to think otherwise, up until you disappeared overseas?"

"You can't be serious. It was weeks Beca, and you did nothing. All you had to do was call me, and say you felt the same, or say that you didn't. I gave you time but I couldn't keep waiting and waiting."

Chloe felt like a schoolteacher again, reprimanding a defenceless child. She expected there would be silence for a while followed by the same lame excuse about needing time. But Beca tore into her.

"You didn't give us a chance, Chloe. You wrote me off too soon. I thought you understood my need to figure things out first. You knew that's who I was, but then you made me feel like I let you down. You ran away. How could I have worked out that you would do that?"

"I did run away," Chloe said. She finally saw that Beca was every bit as upset as she had been about how things had fallen apart. "Ben said he thought I was testing you, but really I was punishing you."

"Also for the record," Beca said - she wasn't finished yet and her voice was still a lot louder than Chloe's, "I hadn't given up on us all those months while you were overseas, not until after we spoke the day of Flo's wedding. Why were you so awful to me Chloe? I didn't deserve that, did I?"

"No you didn't. I was angry but I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

Beca was quite animated now. She threw her arms out causing her to spill water from the glass in her hands over the floor, then she looked at Chloe, eyebrows raised, clearly expecting more. Chloe wasn't going to dissect everything she'd said back then. It would lead to also explaining again all the ways in which Beca had acted like a tool and that wasn't what she wanted from this conversation. What they both wanted, she assumed, was to resolve the conflict and move on, maybe work on some sort of friendship.

"Those things I said Beca, I never would have spoken to you like that when we were just friends. I was attracted to you, and I know you saw that even in college, but we are so different in so many ways it meant a relationship was always going to be impossible.

I didn't like the person I was, when I was pining over you. I was so bitter and spiteful, and my friends noticed. Ben and I fell out over it."

"So that's how you see it, we got together because of a purely physical attraction but we are too different for it to ever work?" Beca asked.

"It was more than that. But I was expecting too much from you. We _are_ too different. For one thing, you are too guarded with your feeling and maybe I'm too open with mine."

"You said I was emotionally immature." Beca said, looking at the floor.

"I didn't mean it."

"Maybe you did. You don't think I'm capable of being in a relationship with someone like you?"

"We are not compatible, Beca. That's what I meant."

"I think we could have got through those differences. People change. Love changes people, don't you think?"

"Sure it does, but that's not always a good thing," Chloe didn't like how she had been pushed into being the cynical one of the two now, as Beca was lauding the power of love. Beca couldn't seriously be suggesting a rekindling of their romance?

"It's too late now Beca," she warned.

"I know, I know. Of course it's too late. I ruined everything and there are no second chances. Nobody should need one with Chloe Beale. What kind of idiot fucks that up?" By now most of Beca's glass of water had been emptied onto the floor. She got up and went to the kitchen to refill it. Chloe watched her and again tried to see at what time Beca was meeting Kyle.

"I think we can still be friends," Chloe said when Beca returned and sat down again, "It's worth trying but it won't be easy to fully forgive you or trust you again."

"Excuse me?" Beca said. Most of the fire was gone from Beca voice now but that had pushed a button.

"I will forgive you in time Beca. I just wouldn't trust you with my heart again."

"First of all, you didn't exactly take care of my heart either. And 'you'll forgive me'?"

"You're right - forgive each other. We're both to blame for how it all unravelled."

Beca stood and opened her arms, reaching for Chloe who didn't hesitate to climb into the embrace.

Chloe was thinking about that disastrous phone call again - would it have been different if she'd known Beca was still waiting for her and hadn't given up on them? And why didn't Beca just say that at the time? But Beca was right about one thing - Chloe had persuaded herself very quickly back then that Beca wasn't capable of being what she needed in a relationship.

They hugged for a long time, like they had held each other years earlier as they said their goodbyes from Barden, and just like that time they were aware that their future was an unknown but that things were not going to be the same between them.

"We should talk about that kiss last night too," Beca said softly when they eventually began to loosen their hold on each other, "We were drinking and dancing and I was being careless. It's what happens when I go to clubs - sometimes I kiss people when I shouldn't."

Chloe felt there has been an equal intention from both of them, but Beca was claiming it, that she had initiated the kiss. Chloe let it go, they didn't need to clarify that detail.

"Right, and I kiss my friends all the time. You know I'm always flirty and very tactile with people, and it's odd to me that we aren't anymore. I think that's why it happened."

"Maybe because I've kissed your lips before it seemed a natural thing to do."

Chloe hadn't missed how Beca had paused before slowly saying the words "I've kissed your lips before". Chloe smiled and shook her head at Beca.

"Are you flirting with me now, Beca Mitchell?"

"Yes? It it ok? I mean it's what we do as friends, right?" It was more than Ok. It was a lot like the pre-fucked-up-relationship times when they teased like this, although those had been more innocent times back then.

"Yes, it's ok. And you've been working on your game - that was well played, Beca." Beca leaned back and crossed her arms, adopting her "I'm a badass" pose.

"Do we also need to talk about acceptable levels of hugging, touching or kissing?" Chloe asked. She was enjoying this. It felt normal, comfortable and so much fun to use her wiles to switch Beca from flirty to awkward and back again.

"Hugs for hello and goodbye are good, but not too much touching Chloe. It's very distracting for me."

"Ok, so we have a green light on hugging and flirting," Chloe said.

"But keep it PG rated."

"And beginner level touching."

"And no kissing."

"And no kissing. For now."

Beca had surprised Chloe and not just with the amount of flirting going on. If only she'd opened up like that a year ago. But the difference was that now it wasn't going anywhere, there was no chance of more than friendship so there wasn't the same risk for Beca.

"Would you like to stay for lunch?" Beca asked, "I'd really like it if you could stay a while."

"Thanks Beca, but no, I can't today. I've got to go but maybe some other time, would that be ok?"

"Definitely," Beca replied with a smile, "I'll walk you out."

They walked in silence down the corridor and both of them naturally open their arms to hug again when they stopped to wait for the elevator.


	25. Revival - Part 4

Life in LA was good, according to Chloe Beale. Three month after moving from New York things could not have gone much better. She loved her new job - Ben had been right when he said it would give her lots of options for where she could take her career with LFA.

Things were so much better between her and Beca too. She could now look forward to going out to eat with Aubrey, Jesse and Beca – it had become a fun night with friends instead of a mediated intervention. She no longer needed to rely on her escape strategies and Beca had stopped with her moody reactions too. They had both learned to handle the occasional moments of hurt or anger differently – with just a sharp glare, or an honest harsh word or sometimes even a casually delivered "fuck you". The feelings were acknowledged, expressed in some way and then they moved on.

Outside of those nights, they were both also making an effort to spend some extra time together every few weeks, usually for an hour or two over coffee or shopping.

Chloe noticed the Beca was careful with her drinking when they were together, never having more than one or two. On the few occasions when Jesse and Aubrey had suggested going to a club after dinner Beca had always declined. She'd given plausible reasons but Chloe suspected that Beca was worried about the temptation that could arise if they were dancing together again. Chloe thought about it too, but more with curiosity than concern.

They kept to their rules about appropriate amounts of physical contact, and the flirting was lighter now compared to that morning in Beca's apartment. They cut it out completely when they were with Jesse and Aubrey.

Three months into her LA contract also meant it was time for Chloe to reconsider her living arrangements. She could continue staying in her current apartment for up to a year, but the rent free incentive of her relocation ended after three months. She was apprehensive about signing a lease as she hadn't yet committed to staying after the year was up, and that decision wouldn't be only about her career. It made sense that she should at least start to investigate what was available, so she made appointments to view a few apartments the weekend after she started paying rent.

 **oOo**

When she searched for directions to the first of her appointments, she noticed that Beca's address was still stored in her map search history and that it was only a few kilometres from her current destination. So when she arrived at the property and saw the realtor's message saying she'd be twenty minute late, Chloe called Beca. Beca was home, not doing anything important, and happy to come look at the apartment with her.

"I didn't know you were looking for a new place," Beca said in place of a greeting.

Chloe explained the deal with her employers on her current apartment. She told Beca she was only looking around for now but she didn't clarify that she might not leave her place at all. She didn't want to tell Beca yet that she might be returning to New York. It might affect the progress of whatever their relationship was now. She often talked about her work with Beca, but she never talked about her career.

The realtor arrived thirty minutes late and without apology. She was an older woman who introduced herself as Ms. Davenport while she pressed a business card into both girls' hands, before leading them at pace towards the building, while also searching through a large bunch of keys.

Once inside the apartment, she began a quick tour with commentary, most of it stating the obvious. Chloe knew immediately it wasn't for her, but she let the tour continue.

"I'll give you two another few minutes to look around," Ms. Davenport said when they arrived back at the starting point in the living room, and she walked away to make a phone call. Chloe looked at Beca, screwed up her face in mock horror and shook her head. Beca nodded, mirrored Chloe's expression and discretely made a thumbs-down gesture. The stifled their giggles as the realtor returned to the room.

"It's not really what I'm looking for Ms. Davenport, but thank you for your time," Chloe said.

"I understand. No problem at all."

She locked the door behind them and the three of them walked together out of the building. To fill the silence the older woman made small talk about the rejected apartment.

"It's a great apartment but really it's only suitable for one occupant. It is quite compact - I think it would be a bit uncomfortable with two in that space. You are best to keep looking for something bigger."

"No, it's not for both of us, it's just me that's looking for a place. We are not a couple, or anything. Beca's a friend. I just brought her along for another opinion."

Beca glared at Chloe. Chloe recognised the look - _Chloe just stop talking now_. Ms. Davenport intervened to stop Chloe's over-explaining.

"Oh sorry, I assumed you were together," she said matter of factly, showing no sign of embarrassment about her error, instead enjoying the flush it brought to both women's faces.

Once the realtor had driven away they stood outside the building for a few awkward moments before Chloe invited Beca to the rest of her appointments that morning. Beca accepted with enthusiasm and they spent the next few hours driving around looking at unsuitable apartments, making jokes about realtors and their inventive sales pitches and finally going for lunch together. For Chloe this was already a great day. They hadn't spent that much time together since she'd arrived in LA and they hadn't had that much silly fun together in a long time. There was that one weird moment early on but then no further tension for the rest of the day, and there had been a lot of laughing. It was the way their interactions worked as friends.

It was a logical step then when Beca offered to help Chloe with her apartment hunting. The obvious reason being that Beca had local knowledge, while Chloe wouldn't even know the good parts of the city from the sketchy ones. More importantly it would give them something extra to do together, and a reason to call and to spend more time with each other.

 **oOo**

It happened again - another realtor misread their relationship a few weeks later. This time it was a novice, a young man nervous in the company of women. He was wearing what Beca and Chloe joked must be the first and only suit that he ever owned, and he hadn't yet gained the confidence to deliver the hackneyed real estate language that was his only sales technique.

"The apartment has a large double bedroom and lots of closet space. Plus there is ample extra storage in the hallway. It's perfect for a couple," he read to them from the apartment's advertising handbill.

This time Beca and Chloe just laughed and didn't correct him.

 **oOo**

After a month of apartment hunting, Chloe had become a regular visitor to Beca's place. They often hung out there searching listings, usually combining it with having lunch or dinner together. Chloe never ventured past the kitchen and living areas and she didn't push it, she assumed those other rooms in Beca's home would be off limits to her. The planner was long gone from the fridge but that odd beach photo was still in the frame on the hall table.

Another couple of weeks later Beca invited Chloe to come round before their night out with Jesse and Aubrey, and leave her car in Beca's second parking space so they could share a cab downtown. On the third occasion that she parked at Beca's, she ended up crashing in Beca's spare room. The evening had kicked on late and Beca insisted that Chloe was too tired and shouldn't drive home.

When Beca had offered her spare bed, Chloe liked that her cautiousness was waning, though she treated the invitation as nothing more than another friendly gesture for her convenience. Given access to a little more of Beca's place, Chloe couldn't avoid exploring eagerly. She observed how the second bedroom was sparsely furnished, with the build-in wardrobe and chest of drawers completely bare. But the huge main bathroom was unashamedly cluttered and when she peaked into the study she saw Beca's life spilled all over it. Besides her bedroom, which Chloe's had not seen, this was the room where Beca spent most of her time when she was home. She saw two laptops, and about five pairs of headphones. Notebooks, stacks of documents, CDs and pen-drives were tossed around the desk and on the floor. The shelving around the room was filled with books and, Chloe was pleased to see, lots more photos. She had wanted to look more closely at the contents of those shelves but Beca had caught her peering in the door on her way from the bathroom to her own bedroom.

"Sorry, I can't help snooping," Chloe said. She turned out the light in the study and took a few steps away.

"It's ok," Beca said with a laugh, "it's a bit of a mess in there right now." She just waited there while Chloe turned and walked down the hall towards the guest bedroom - feeling that she was being watched. Before stepping past the door-frame, Chloe looked over her shoulder and saw Beca still standing outside the study, leaning against the wall. She was smiling, so perhaps she wasn't too upset that Chloe had invaded her private space. And she definitely had been watching Chloe's sheepish walk away from her. They bid each other goodnight before Chloe stepped inside and shut the door.

Chloe stayed for a quick breakfast with Beca the following morning. It could have been a little odd but Chloe enjoyed how normal it felt sitting at a breakfast table, a little unkempt before her morning shower, while Beca prepared a meal for both of them and as they ate it together.

Staying in Beca's spare room on those nights out, and having lazy breakfasts together in her kitchen the morning after became another semi-regular occurrence.

For Chloe it proved their progress in the past months. They could hang out like this again without feeling that the available opportunities or the flirty interactions between them might lead to anything more. Because even if Chloe felt a flutter of something stirring in her core, she could turn to her common sense to rein it in. Sometimes she did experience those old feelings - there was an attraction between them, they both had acknowledged that, but there always had been. At college Chloe had known to never act on it and her assessment now was that she was close to being back to that point.

Beca wouldn't do anything reckless now either. She had been slowly inviting Chloe into more and more of her life, which had to indicated that she was at the same conclusion. Otherwise it looked like she was playing a ridiculously long game.

 **oOo**

Chloe was having a challenging week at work. Too many tasks had piled up, she'd forgotten to complete some of them and she'd run out of time to complete others. She'd been late to several meetings too. It was all minor, instantly forgotten by her colleagues, but it's wasn't normal for her. By Friday morning she was already drained from the week of work, and struggling to stay focused until the end of the day. She wanted this week behind her.

Sometime mid-morning she received a call from Alicia, an ex from New York, and it had thrown her off for the rest of the day. Alicia claimed to have tracked her down in order to get Chloe's thoughts on the best local schools for her niece in New York. Though Chloe played along, Alicia's question was instantly voided with news of Chloe's new job and new city. If she'd tracked Chloe down she must have already known that Chloe had moved, so when Alicia just progressed to questions about LA, Chloe knew she was really asking if and when she was returning to New York. Chloe allowed her to figure out that she wasn't going to be satisfied from this conversation and waited for Alicia to initiate the goodbye. It didn't take long.

Had Alicia spend all that time waiting, neither acting on her feelings nor moving on from them? When she ended their relationship, Chloe hadn't explicitly said it, but it was almost a tangible presence between them - there was someone else. She interpreted what had just happened as Alicia begging to know if that someone else was still her someone else, if there was still some chance for them to try again. Chloe had to extinguish her hopes, but she wondered how she could have answered the question. And how would Alicia, or Ben, or anyone else understand her if she tried to explain the story of her and Beca so far - a new developing friendship from an old, disastrous semi-relationship, with someone she had previously considered her best friend?

She just wanted to forget that call, forget the question it had left her asking herself, forget this day and go out to have fun with her friends to start the weekend.

 **oOo**

When Beca opened her door to Chloe later that evening she was barefoot, and dressed in sweatpants and a tee-shirt.

"You're not ready yet?" Chloe said.

"I know. Aubrey is going to kill us. I've had a crazy day - I got home twenty minutes ago. My flight was delayed, and then the traffic was really bad. And I still have to shower and get dressed. I'll be as quick as I can. Grab a beer from the fridge if you like, and could you text Aubrey? Please?"

"Ok, calm down Beca, it'll be fine," Chloe said, amused by Beca's agitation. She hadn't seen the Beca like this in a long time.

"Where were you?" she added.

"What?" Beca had already started moving towards the bathroom, but she must have heard the question.

"You said your flight was delayed. I didn't know you were away. Where were you?"

Beca stopped but didn't turn around immediately. "I had to go to New York for work for a few days." She seemed really nervous now.

"You were in New York? You never mentioned it. Why didn't you tell me? I could have given you some tips on, I don't know, where to eat, where to go out, where to meet people," Chloe said with a faltering voice, struggling to contain that it was upsetting her so much.

"Oh Chloe," Beca said softly. She walked back and took Chloe's hand. "Listen, I knew I'd be working the whole time. I didn't have time to go out or to go partying and I don't need to meet new people - everything, and everyone, I need is here in LA."

Now Beca went back to nervous, she looked utterly embarrassed too and she darted off to the bathroom.

Chloe watched her go. She hadn't seen nervous Beca in a while, and she was still one of the cutest versions of Beca she knew. Much more attractive than silent, sulking Beca or sarcastic Beca. "Everything and everyone I need is here in LA" - those were the exact words Beca has just said. Chloe needed a drink. She bypassed the beers in the fridge, instead helping herself to a generous serve of scotch from Beca's liquor cabinet.

Beca turned the shower on and quickly stripped. When the water had heated up, she stepped in and stood motionless under the stream for a few minutes with her eyes closed. Then she started to sing.

Chloe sat on the armrest of the sofa as she quickly finished a second large measure of scotch. She slipped out of her shoes, placed the glass next to the kitchen sink and began to walk towards Beca's bathroom. She could hear shower water running, the whirring sound of an extractor fan and Beca singing. At the door she paused to listen, trying to identify the song. She gasped when she recognised it and gently opened the door, with zero doubts as to what was about to happen.

There was no pause in Beca's singing, so she mustn't have heard Chloe entering the room. She mustn't have realised yet that Chloe was just three or four meters from her, quietly undressing. Beca must have been unaware of Chloe's presence in the room up until she heard the extra voice harmonising along to David Guetta's Titanium with her. At first, Beca continued to sing with her. Then Chloe opened the frosted shower door. She stood there naked and smiled widely. Beca turned and stared. Beca was not averting her gaze, openly taking in all that was in front of her, as Chloe did the same. One of Chloe's hands slowly began to reach toward Beca's hip.

"What are you doing, Chloe?" Beca whispered.

Chloe took a further step so that the water was now sprinkling her shoulders. She dropped her head to kiss Beca's neck. It made Beca gasp and she closed her eyes. Chloe gently dragged her fingertips across Beca's stomach.

"Do you remember how I taste, Beca?" Chloe licked her lips and leaned forward to whisper in Beca's ear, "because I haven't forgotten how you taste," she continued in a deeper, raspy voice. Something changed then. Beca's eyes flew open. She took Chloe's wrists and pushed her away. She turned to hide her body.

"No! Stop! What are you doing Chloe? You need to get out, now," Beca said. She wasn't shouting, she was pleading.

Chloe's face paled, and she stepped back.

"But Beca, what you said before, and ..."

"What are you talking about? This can't happen. We agreed that this can't ever happen. Please just leave now." Beca was still turned away, talking over her shoulder without fully making eye contact.

Chloe scooped up her clothes off the floor and fled from the room. She very quickly dressed in the hall outside the bathroom, tears now flowing. She was humiliated, an uncommon experience for her. The sound of the shower had stopped and she thought she could hear Beca sobbing too. She ran to get her shoes and her bag from the living room and she slammed the door as she left the apartment. In her car, she sent a brief message to Aubrey to cancel on dinner, claiming an upset stomach. Then she drove straight home.


	26. Revival - Part 5

On Saturday morning Chloe woke up and prepared herself to make a familiar journey for another morning-after cleanup. She was not impressed with herself. Closing in on thirty years old and still she was making these types of drunken mistakes. Except she hadn't been drunk last night - just horny. But same difference, right?

Beca was not going to be impressed with her either. Besides grovelling for her forgiveness Chloe would need to make Beca believe that it had been nothing more than a momentary lapse - that she's had a really bad day and week at work, then faced with the tiniest tease she'd lost control just for a second. It was not like it was the first time Chloe had done something like this, Beca would have to understand that.

She didn't text or call, she just drove straight to Beca's.

She rang the bell and stood in front of the video intercom, with what she hoped looked like a contrite expression. She heard the intercom click and steadied herself.

"You know, there are not many people who can get away with ringing my doorbell this early on a Saturday," Beca said. She didn't sound angry. Maybe it wasn't surprising that Beca would start this with a joke.

"Beca, it's me. Please let me in, I'm so sorry about last night and I need to explain."

"Sure, come on up," Beca replied, and buzzed her in.

When Beca opened the door, Chloe saw that she was still not showered or dressed and her hair looked like a bird's nest.

"I'm sorry - I got you out of bed."

"Don't worry about that," Beca replied, "We need to talk about what happened last night. I'll make some coffee."

Beca ambled to the kitchen to prepare the coffee. She seemed relaxed. It was unsettling for Chloe that Beca was so relaxed. Perhaps she wasn't fully awake yet.

"I am really sorry Beca. It's so embarrassing - I was acting like a horny teenager last night. I regretted it instantly, and I promise it won't happen ever again. Thank god you stopped us from making a huge mistake." Chloe looked up to see if it was working, to gauge if Beca was willing to accept her apology. She couldn't tell yet, Beca was just looking at her blankly.

"I was really drained and stressed from work this week and I've been needing some relief, and then the opportunity was just right there last night. I wasn't thinking. Also it has been a bit of a dry spell for me recently."

Beca left the kitchen area then, abandoning the coffee, and she sat on her sofa. Chloe observed that she wasn't quiet so relaxed anymore and a bit distant. But Chloe had now introduced the topic of other people, something they had never talked about since Chloe had arrived in LA.

"Oh?" was Beca's response. She was the one who'd said two minutes earlier that they needed to talk about it and now she was contributing one word, one syllable, to the discussion.

Chloe nodded emphatically. "Yes. A few weeks ago, I did something similar to a colleague from work. It was out of nowhere, completely unwarranted. Lucky that we both had a sense of humour about it. And shortly after I arrived in LA, Aubrey introduced me to one of her very nervous assistants, and I misread that, badly." She laughed out the last few words.

"I seem to still have this weakness when people are completely flustered. Like you were, when I arrived last night."

"Don't worry about it Chloe. Just get you needs fulfilled elsewhere, Ok?"

Beca was making this easy for her, she was neither angry nor evasive. She was acting like this was no big deal and that it wouldn't change anything. That attitude suited Chloe perfectly, but it was hard to believe.

"That's it? I know you were upset last night Beca, I heard you crying. What's changed?"

"I wasn't upset or crying Chloe, it just really took me by surprise when you were standing there."

Maybe she'd been mistaken about the sobbing sounds she thought she'd heard. So Chloe chose to believe Beca's apparent indifference - it was the easiest option at that moment. And since Beca was accepting Chloe's explanation too was there any reason to push it?

"Oh yes, of course. I guess I did sneak up on you."

Chloe concluded that whatever Beca's strategy had been, the outcome she had been seeking must have been the same as hers. They'd agreed now that what had happened didn't mean anything and it wouldn't change anything between them. They were still friends and only friends. It was just another audacious Chloe anecdote for the future.

"Let's just forget it, ok? Your head was completely clouded by lust, and you made a mistake." Beca said.

Chloe gave Beca a playful thump on the arm. When Beca feigned a grimace, Chloe then rubbed her hand gently up and down on the site of the non-existent injury. Only when Chloe realised what she was doing did she consider that it might be a little odd. At least the timing of it was odd. They were flirting again now, because that's what they do as friends, right?

 **oOo**

Chloe couldn't ignore Aubrey's message. It wasn't an option. This wasn't an invitation - it was a summons.

Aubrey [9.10] : I'm at your apartment. Where are you? Get here as soon as possible.

Chloe was relieved to have an excuse to leave Beca's. It had been weird at the end, with both of them agreeing to forget the events of night before, but neither able to ignore the fact that talking about it had been the sole purpose of Chloe's visit. Next time they saw each other it would be back to normal.

Aubrey was not going to be impressed with her either. Chloe hadn't been very creative with her excuse for cancelling on dinner. Aubrey would have seen through the fake illness trick and her mood would not be improving the longer Chloe left her waiting. She sped home and met Aubrey at a nearby breakfast place.

"I was at Beca's," Chloe said by way of apology.

Aubrey's stern expression was transformed by a wide smile. "Finally!" she said. It was loud enough to distract everyone else in the restaurant.

"No! I mean I had to go round there this morning. Because of what happened last night."

Aubrey's smile grew even bigger. "I can't wait to hear this," she said.

So Chloe told a condensed version of the story and explained her actions using the same rationale as she had with Beca earlier. Aubrey wanted the detailed version.

"Tell me exactly what happened from the moment you arrived at Beca's last night," she said.

Chloe wondered when Aubrey had turned into such a gossip, but she figured it could be therapeutic for her to revisit the details anyway. When Chloe got to the critical part of the story, she remembered something that she'd ignored earlier - Beca's reaction had not been instant.

"There was definitely a weird vibe, she was singing that song that she knows is my ..., anyway it seemed obvious where it was heading."

"Are you sure Chloe?"

I know the way she was looking at me, she wanted it too. Before she freaked out."

"Maybe she didn't want to ruin all the progress you've made just to get laid."

Chloe considered it for a moment, it actually made perfect sense to her now.

"Exactly! That's it!"

Aubrey put her shaking head in her hands and let out an elongated "Chloe" with her exhalation.

"It was exactly the same for her," Chloe continued with the same enthusiasm, still grasping onto her Eureka moment.

Chloe thought she had it all worked out now. That's why Beca didn't give her a hard time that morning about her overactive libido – because Beca's was in need of some release too. Fortunately Beca was a little smarter when it came to controlling hers and was able to stop them last night. One near miss would be enough to maintain the status quo from now on, whereas one mistake could have really ruined things.

Chloe had it all worked out but when she explained it, Aubrey wasn't convinced.

"Interesting theory. Here's another one – you're in denial. Can you honestly tell me that you are one hundred percent certain there is no chance that something else is going on?"

"I just need to put an end to my dry spell. And Beca needs to end hers too," Chloe insisted once more.

"How is that working out for you? Are you meeting a lot of people that you would like to sleep with more than you want to sleep with Beca?"

"Shut up, Aubrey."

They both shut up for a while, and kept occupied ordering some food and then checking their phones.

"What's your plan Chloe? Are you going to move back to New York?"

"I still haven't decided."

"Because of Beca?"

"No."

"Here's what I think..."

"Don't want to hear it, Aubrey."

"Don't care. I think that if you move back then you and Beca will stay friends but distant ones, and if you stay in LA there is no way you can remain friends. You'll either be a lot more, or a lot less."

Chloe was ignoring Aubrey now but to herself she couldn't deny some things. She and Beca were spending a lot more time together alone. She liked being at Beca's place and there was something thrilling that made it hard to sleep on those nights when she knew Beca was sleeping in the next room. She enjoyed the meals they ate together in Beca's kitchen, because it was so natural and comfortable to share that space with her. She especially enjoyed it when they shared breakfast together after staying overnight.

They had stopped being cautious about evading situations where something could happen. Was that because they never thought anything like last night could have occurred or was it because one or both of them thought it could?

Chloe wouldn't agree that she was in denial, she was just trying to protect herself. Surely that was the number one lesson from all that had happened between her and Beca before. She had to take care of her now delicate heart and that means you don't fall for the cynical alt girl. You definitely don't fall for the same one over and over.

So she couldn't let herself love Beca again.

Could she?

It would be another ride on that roller-coaster that would end up destroying everything again.

Wouldn't it?

The look she threw at Aubrey gave her away. Aubrey leaned over towards her and spoke with kindness.

"What's the problem Chloe?"

"I don't know if I can trust her again." Chloe admitted, "What if she just breaks my heart all over again?"

 **oOoOo**

Beca had cancelled on Friday with a text too. She had spent so long sitting on the side of her bathtub after she had thrown Chloe out, that by the time she was ready to get dressed, she was already half an hour later for dinner. Like Chloe she'd also received a reply on Saturday morning demanding a proper explanation.

While Chloe was meeting Aubrey, the other half of the quartet were also meeting at another restaurant for a conversation on the same topic.

Beca expected that Chloe's story at the restaurant on Friday night matched the one that they had indirectly agreed to at her apartment earlier. That story would be that they had almost had sex, that Chloe's inability to control her desires was to blame, that Beca's good sense had been the hero which prevented them from making a "huge" mistake, that it was no big deal and that there was no risk of it happening again.

So that was the story Beca would tell too.

What happened to never lying to or about Chloe again?

The truth was that when Beca had turned to see Chloe stepping into the shower with her, she knew she wanted it too, and not just sex. That was what she was planning to talk about when Chloe showed up at her door. But Beca had also been afraid that inviting Chloe back into her bed in that impulsive moment might have been a mistake. And she'd been right. Chloe had quickly and firmly stated her position that morning - it was lust that had been driving her, it would have been just sex and it would have screwed up their friendship again. Realising that too late would have left Beca even more devastated by Chloe than she already was, so Beca had been right to throw Chloe out.

"I'm sorry about last night," Beca said as soon as she saw Jesse, "I was exhausted and I was running really late. But also I thought it might have been easier for poor Chloe if I wasn't there."

"Chloe didn't show either. She said she wasn't well. What's going on, Beca?"

"Choe was lying. She was probably too embarrassed about what happened to show her face." Chloe never mentioned that she had skipped out on dinner too. They hadn't talked about it at all. They hadn't talked about anything else except the shower incident, and once it was resolved, apparently, Chloe had quickly left.

Beca told Jesse the version of the events on Friday night that she understood to be the official story now. It was generally a more entertaining and amusing version, without any tears.

"She was so embarrassed when she came round to apologise this morning, it was hilarious. She is such an idiot sometimes," Beca concluded. Jesse didn't join in the laughter, he observed her curiously, in a way that creepily reminded her of Aubrey - eyes narrowed, lips pursed and then the head cocked to the side.

"What? Come on!" She grinned, trying to get him on board with the joke.

"So she was naked in your shower. And you hadn't done anything to encourage her to be there? And you weren't interested, not even a little bit?"

"No and I told her to get out. We are just friends now. Anyway it wasn't about me, it could have been anyone. Did you hear the part about her dry spell making her act like a horny teenager?"

"Did that bother you? That she said it could have been anyone? It wasn't just you she wanted?"

Beca answered with just a simple unconvincing "No" this time. A lie about Chloe, or to Chloe, didn't count, when it was to preserve what they had agreed the boundaries of their relationship would be from now on.

"Because you knew that it wasn't true?"

"No!"She tried a little more emphatically with this denial.

 _It did bother me, because I d_ _on't want it to be true._

"Let me ask you this Beca. What would happen if she told you she was dating someone?"

"She's not."

 _Is she?_

"This game is called 'what if'. What if Chloe were dating someone else?"

"But she's not dating anyone else," Beca repeated.

 _I wouldn't want to know because it would make me crazy jealous._

She wasn't interested in playing this game, but he knew that and he clearly also knew why.

"Because? ...Because she won't date someone else? Because she's waiting for you?"

"No Jesse, she is not waiting for me."

 _I'm waiting for her, and I don't know how long I can keep doing that._

"And are you sure you're Ok with that?"

No, Beca was not Ok with that.

"I have to be because that's how it is and that's what she wants. She said that last night we avoided "a huge mistake", and besides, she doesn't think we are compatible - apparently I'm too guarded with my feelings and I take too long to figure them out."

"Sounds to me like you have your feelings figured out just fine, maybe she's the one being guarded."

 **oOo**


	27. Revival - Part 6

During the week following the shower incident, Beca and Chloe talked on the phone and sent texts to each other, the same as they had being doing for months. Chloe made arrangements to see some apartments on Saturday morning, as always. She sent the details to Beca and told her when and where to meet, just the way they usually planned it.

Beca started their Saturday together by pretending things were normal, to appease Chloe. Chloe's behaviour wasn't normal - she was over the top cheerful, even more than usual. Beca felt sure that Chloe's current disposition had to be about what happening between them the previous Friday night, and also about the conversation they'd had afterwards. But Chloe wasn't volunteering to talk about either of those events now. If Chloe really believed her own excuses for what she'd done, wouldn't she be able to discuss it now without shame?

After two hours of playing that game, dancing around each other, Beca couldn't take it anymore.

"What are you doing now?" Beca asked when they finished looking around the last apartment. It had been another morning of rejected apartments. Chloe had never seen one that she even considered taking. It had been months of searching. Beca had avoided thinking about it too much before - as long as Chloe's search continued they were still spending all that time together.

Chloe looked at her watch. "I think I'm having lunch with you," she said and linked their arms, "where do you want to eat?"

At the restaurant twenty minutes later, Chloe was continuing with her light and airy mood and ignoring how Beca wasn't responding to it. Beca persisted, trying to get Chloe to see that she wanted to have a meaningful discussion about something, but Chloe interrupted, distracted her and derailed the conversation. It was a tactic Beca recognised – she was a master at it herself. Beca couldn't take it anymore.

"Chloe?" She didn't yell it, but her voice was raised in obvious irritation. It surprised Chloe sufficiently to stop her chatter for long enough for Beca to say "Last week when you followed me to the shower ..."

"I knew you'd have to bring that up that again soon. I'm never going to live that down. What's it going to take to get you to never mention it again?" She'd recovered already and cut her off again. Beca knew that Chloe's tone was deliberate - warning her not to pursue the topic with anything other than flippancy.

"I'm not about to tease you about it. Listen Chloe, I have to tell you this. I wouldn't have stopped you, if you hadn't said what you said."

"What did I say? I can't even remember."

"I don't want to repeat it - it was something crude about having sex with me. When you said it, I realised that you just wanted to fuck." Firing out that word finally got Chloe to drop the frivolous attitude and pay attention. "And I don't want to have sex with you."

"I know that. Haven't we already had this conversation?" Chloe said.

Beca needed to take a second or two. She reminded herself that she couldn't continue like this if Chloe was staying in her life. They couldn't continue like this. She'd risk the rejection and humiliation, and if this sent her into months of feeling completely empty again she'd just have to learn to live it with better. She had to know. She had to tell Chloe how she felt.

"I mean I don't want to **only** have sex with you. I want another chance."

There was a long pause. Chloe's eyes narrowed and she was biting her lip. Beca didn't think it a good sign.

"Beca. You did the right thing when you threw me out and stopped us from making a big mistake. Sex would have confused things. This friendship we have now is a miracle after what happened between us before. I don't want to risk that."

"Don't you feel anything for me anymore? Don't you want this too?"

"Beca, please!

"I want things to stay the way they are. I am sorry if what happened last week sent the wrong message to you and I promise I'm not going to do anything like that again."

Beca was numb. She wouldn't beg but what else could she say?

 _Keep it together, don't cry_ Beca repeated to herself. She nodded at Chloe with a feigned smile and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't cry. She thought about what Chloe had said but also about how long it had taken her to decide what to say. Chloe had not been convincing. And Beca considered it an encouragement that Chloe had downgraded the mistake from huge to big. Most importantly Beca had heard what Chloe wasn't saying. She never answered the question directly – she never said she didn't feel the same.

There was also something Beca wasn't saying. She never said she would forget about this conversation. She loved Chloe and wanted another chance and she never said that either of those facts was going to change.

"Are we Ok, Beca?" Chloe asked when Beca returned. It wasn't pity Beca heard in Chloe's words, it was doubt or maybe fear.

"Yes, of course. I just had to say it."

She took Chloe's hand. This was a significant enough moment to merit a little touching, because it's what they do as friends. She looked right into Chloe eyes. She wanted Chloe to see her – she wasn't backing down from what she'd said, she wasn't running away, she wasn't afraid to keep fighting for them.

If only she'd been this focused in her pursuit of Chloe a year ago, instead of putting all the time and effort into getting her damn New York contract.

 **oOo**

The routines of Beca and Chloe's friendship didn't change - they searched without success for an apartment for Chloe, they went out with Jesse and Aubrey, they hung out at Beca's place and Chloe stayed over sometimes in her guest room. But their relationship had changed. Beca pushed and Chloe resisted. Beca complimented and flirted with Chloe constantly. When they spoke, she held Chloe's gaze for longer and she stood or sat closer to her than before. She gratuitously touched Chloe at every opportunity. Chloe accepted the attention and praise casually and never baulked at the physical contact, but she didn't respond with an equal fervour.

Beca insisted that Chloe stay over at every possible opportunity now, and Chloe had no excuse to refuse. Beca really wanted her to try to turn down the invitations, just so she could push her some more. _Why not Chloe? What do you think could happen? Are you afraid you might climb into my bed and tell me that you still love me?_

Nonetheless, those nights tormented Beca. It would have been so easy for something to happen between them every time. She orchestrated situations to maximise the temptation for Chloe and she presented ample opportunities for her to act on them. Beca knew she wasn't playing fair but she couldn't play it any other way. And these were tricks she'd picked up from watching Chloe. She made herbal tea before bed and Chloe would have to curl up next to her on the sofa when they drank it, or she'd turn on some music and start dancing in the kitchen, forcing Chloe to join in. So many times she was so desperate to kiss Chloe that she almost caved and every time she knew, she just knew, that Chloe wanted it too. But Beca never acted on her increasingly difficult to control desires. She never made the first move. She was waiting for Chloe to initiate something - either a kiss or better, a conversation.

She didn't want to just sleep with Chloe.

Beca wondered if what she was going through now was a bit like Chloe's experience during the reunion - trying to be considerate and patient while waiting for the other person to catch up. It would have been funny if it wasn't so tortuous. And at least they were having sex back then.

Jesse and Aubrey had invented a game of "Beca's seduction bingo" that they played during what they now openly called their double dates. There was a growing lack of subtlety to the way Beca found ways to ask Chloe "What do you want?" or "What do you really want?" in any context, nor the earnest tone in which she asked. "Trust me" was another addition to her lexis. Her best trick was when she compelled Chloe to try something from her plate, and then fed it to her. "Try this Chloe, it's amazing. Trust me." Jesse and Aubrey stifled giggles every time while the other two pretended the conversation was normal.

Chloe had to know what was going on. They all knew. Beca was waiting for her, she wasn't giving up and she had been sending clear signals - trust me, forgive me, love me. Chloe never told Beca she had to stop what she was doing and she had to know that was feeding Beca's hopes.

The weeks were disappearing and the pattern wasn't changing. But Beca wasn't relenting, not unless Chloe gave her an honest reason why she should.

 **oOo**

"What's the plan for Saturday? Where are we meeting?" Beca asked. It was Thursday and Chloe usually had sent through the schedule by then. Beca called her at work, which meant limiting their usual banter.

"I can't this weekend. Actually I'm taking a break from the apartment search for a while. I need to make a decision on what to do next."

It sounded deliberately vague, which Beca could have chosen to interpret as "I'm at work I can't talk right now" or "You are not going to like this." She didn't pick either, and she just tried to keep composed. Beca had had lots of practise at handling Chloe's frustrating moments in the past weeks.

"About what? What decision?"

"There is something I haven't told you. I have an option to go back to work in the New York office. If I want to. It's a good offer, a promotion really. They are pressing me to decide in the next week or two."

Beca was ready to scream. Could this get any more complicated?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Beca asked, barely restraining the _What the fuck, Chloe?_ which was on the tip of her tongue. She couldn't take much more of this.

"Because I couldn't have you influencing the decision, and I've been avoiding making it."

"You can't go back. You can't. I don't want you to go," Beca said, "You and I will have zero chance if you leave LA now."

With those words from Beca, Chloe would have to acknowledge it now – what they were really talking about, what had really been going on between them for the past month.

"Aubrey said something to me a couple of weeks ago and I've been thinking about it a lot. She said that if I go back to New York then you and I could remain friends. We wouldn't see each other so often but it wouldn't get so confusing. A least we would still be in each other's lives. If I stay here we won't be able to be friends Beca."

"I can't be your friend Chloe."

Chloe didn't respond, but Beca wasn't expecting her to. This wasn't a conversation to have on the phone, and not during work hours.

"Don't you think we've been way past friends for a while? We need to talk about this, and not on the phone. I'll see you for dinner with Jesse and Aubrey tomorrow night. Then Saturday, spend the day with me. Let me influence your decision. Don't you think I should be an important factor in what you chose to do?"

"Ok Beca, I'll spend Saturday with you. Look I have to get back to work. I'll meet you at yours at seven on Friday? We can make some plans for the weekend then."

"Thank you Chloe, I promise ..." she started and paused. What else did she have left that she could promise Chloe? So she finished with "... I'll be ready on time."

 **oOoOo**

When Chloe arrived at Beca's place on time on Friday, the apartment was filled with thumping music. Beca was in high spirits but also, as usual, running late.

"Beca, you said you'd be ready. You promised actually," Chloe said.

"At least I've showered already," Beca said with a smirk. Chloe shook her head but laughed too.

"I just need five minutes to finish making myself pretty. Help yourself to whatever, you know where everything is."

Beca skipped off towards the bathroom as Chloe went to take a beer from the fridge. A shrill buzz drew her attention to Beca's phone lying on the kitchen counter.

"Beca, your phone," she called but got no response over the loud music. She picked up the phone to take it to Beca. She leaned against the doorjamb and watched for a few moments, while Beca was carefully applying her eye makeup.

"That was your phone," Chloe said, holding it up, 'I think you got a message."

"That'll be Jesse," Beca replied without pausing from her delicate task. "He was going to text me the address of the place where we're going tonight. My hands are full, can you check it?"

"It's locked," Chloe said, waving the phone at Beca.

"Right," Beca stopped what she was doing with her makeup and looked towards Chloe.

"4522," she said.

She then returned to focus on the mirror. Chloe unlocked the phone and saw that it was as Beca expected.

"Yep, it's Jesse. I think I know this place," She yelled back over the music, as she headed back to the kitchen and to her beer.

"Ok, great. I'll be ready to go in five."

Back in the kitchen Chloe put Beca's phone down, picked up her beer and took a long drag from it. She began to move towards the sofa then stopped and looked back at the kitchen counter. Beca's phone was unlocked. She went over and picked it up again, and turned it over a few times, revering the rare treasure in her hands.

She resolved to only look through the older messages between Beca and Jesse, for some reassurances about what Beca had been doing to her in the past weeks. Where did she see it leading? Had she thought it through? Jesse was the most likely confidant. But not via text, she quickly realised. Once she had started reading, it was impossible to stop. She scrolled through older conversations, looking for unfamiliar names and messages. She realised that really she was looking for clues that pointed to possible lovers that Beca had taken since the reunion.

"Beca, why are there two of me in your phone?" she called out without thinking.

"What?" Beca yelled, "I can't hear you over this music - it's so loud."

Once she became aware that she could have been caught, Chloe went to place the phone back on the counter. She hesitated, and she reasoned that it wouldn't be snooping if the messages had been intended for her anyway.

Glancing towards the bathroom to check that Beca was still busy, she opened the old unread conversation.

"Chloe?" Beca yelled again.

"Sorry, it was nothing. How much longer are you going to be?"

"Ok, four more minutes."

At first words and phrases just jumped out at Chloe; 'this week has been so special', 'I love you, I love you', 'I'm coming to New York', 'my heart was breaking', 'truth', 'commitment', 'I love you', 'I'm in love with you'.

Then she carefully read every one of the unseen messages to her old number. Something inside of her collapsed. She finally put the phone back and sank into the sofa.


	28. Wedding 4 - Part 1

Beca danced down the hall from the bathroom to her living room. She paused, looked towards Chloe and then continued to swing her hips along with the music. Chloe tried to mirror the enthusiasm, to hide the shock that had overtaken her. She wanted to rush over and embrace her friend tighter than ever before, say she was so sorry and that she understood now. But that wouldn't be enough. She had been so wrong.

During the cab ride to the restaurant, Beca sat pressed against Chloe's side and she linked their arms. She chatted constantly and used the flirty tone that had become her norm in recent weeks. Chloe responded minimally and sat almost rigidly in response to Beca. It wasn't right - Beca had been waiting for so long for Chloe but right now Chloe wasn't even paying her any attention. Thinking about what Beca had really gone through and her part in it was breaking Chloe's heart again. She was even more confused than before; now the question had changed from "Could she trust Beca again?" to "Did she even deserve Beca's love?"

Chloe tried to maintain a happy facade through dinner but she didn't think she could hold it together. When she feigned illness to go home before they had even ordered, the other three gave her a look. They recognised the trick but wouldn't understand what was going on.

"Sorry guys, I've started feeling a bit nauseous. I need to go."

"Let me go with you. You can stay at mine, I can look after you," Beca said, stroking Chloe's arm.

"No," Chloe replied, flinching at the touch. "Thanks Beca, but I just need to get some sleep. I'll be fine guys, really." She smiled weakly then added "I'll call you later," addressing it to no one in particular. She stood and turned quickly to avoid letting anyone see her starting to cry. Before the other three had time to say another word, she was moving swiftly across the restaurant towards the exit.

Those old messages told Chloe that she had been the asshole. Because she had always believed she was the bigger person, the one most willing to compromise, the one hurting more, the one risking her heart the most. She thought the biggest mistake she had made in all of this was failing to control her anger at Beca, and releasing all that vitriol over the phone on the day of Flo's wedding. She has been so certain that she was justified in giving up on Beca, that Beca had let her down more than she had ever let Beca down. After the reunion, Chloe had felt it was all on Beca to step up and prove herself worthy.

And now she imagined Beca back at the restaurant - hurt, confused, and embarrassed in front of Jesse and Aubrey, and probably thinking she was getting rejected again. Chloe had just walked out. She had left Beca to suffer. She was still being the asshole.

 **oOoOo**

The legs of Beca's chair scraped along the floorboards as she sprang up from her seat. Several diners looked around but Chloe hadn't reacted to the noise - she just maintained the pace of her march away from her friends. Beca watched her leave. Her feet were frozen to the spot and they would not move to follow Chloe.

"Should I go after her?"

No answer came from her remaining two dinner companions. Beca sat back down but continued staring at the door where Chloe had exited.

"What the hell happened, Beca?" It was Jesse that spoke. Beca met his eyes instantly.

"I don't know. Honestly, I have no idea. I thought we were finally ..."

"I know, Beca," Aubrey said, shooting a scolding glace towards Jesse. "Chloe told me you were going to try to work it out this weekend."

"I don't understand," Beca said, "I thought we were good earlier this evening, then in the cab she seemed preoccupied, and you saw how she was when she got here. I can't understand why she's done this."

But maybe she could. She just didn't want this to be what it looked like. She'd thought it was just going to be a matter of waiting a little longer for Chloe. But the option of running away was now made easier for Chloe, with an opportunity for a promotion at work to justify it.

She'd pressured Chloe so much in the past weeks, but she never knew that Chloe was also dealing with the career decision. Beca had ignored any sign that anything was taking a strain on Chloe, instead she'd just continued to pile more pressure on her. But the past month must have been torturing Chloe too, and after their phone conversation a day earlier, Chloe would have accepted too that they couldn't be friends anymore. Beca had finally pushed them to the moment of crisis. Chloe's actions now indicated that if she had made that final decision, it wasn't what Beca had expected it to be.

Beca struggled to silence that voice saying that Chloe had stuck with the same conclusions about them that she had reached a year earlier - that they were too different, that they were incompatible, that Chloe couldn't fully forgive or trust or love her again.

She stayed and sat through a quick, stilted meal with the other two. Beca and Aubrey checked their phones during the frequent silent moments, and both ducked out a few times to make calls. They each watched the other doing the same thing but never commented. It was obvious who they were phoning and that none of the calls were being answered. They asked for the check as soon as their plates were cleared, and said quick goodbyes with no further mention of Chloe.

When she got home Beca checked the car park to see Chloe's car gone. She left aside the mounting evidence from all of Chloe's actions that night, and she took her time to carefully word her message.

Beca M [10.43] : Hope you are feeling better. Call me when you wake up.

Beca wasn't surprised when Chloe didn't call the next morning. So she sent another message and then a dozen more as the morning and afternoon stretched out without contact. The first few messages were tagged as read, then Chloe must have turned her phone off. Beca called and left voicemails several times that evening, until it started getting too late. In every message and every call all Beca did was beg Chloe to call her back, and in her last voicemail message of the night she insisted that she would continue to call until they talked.

Saturday had crawled by. Beca hadn't left her apartment and did nothing but obsess about Chloe all day. She barely slept that night. She woke to check her phone every hour or two, but there was still no contact from Chloe. Several times when she woke, her phone was still clutched in her hand. When it rang at 10am on Sunday morning it woke her from a light sleep. Seeing an incoming call from Chloe, she bolted up in bed.

"Oh god Chloe!" she said as she answered.

"Before you say anything, just listen to me for a minute." Chloe spoke the words urgently but she softened as she continued. "Beca, please, I just need you to listen, OK?"

Beca did as she was asked.

"I'm so sorry for disappearing on Friday but I need some time alone to think. I know this timing is lousy but I promise I'm not doing this to punish you."

Chloe paused. Maybe that was all she wanted to say or maybe she was gathering herself to say the worst part. Beca had to know.

"Ok. So are you saying I have nothing to worry about? That you are staying in LA?"

"I don't know, I can't think about that right now. The past few weeks with you have been ... and then on Friday when ..."

"Chloe, whatever it is ..."

"Please don't say anything else right now Beca, this is difficult enough. And I can't seem to say it right.

"I just want you to know I'm sorry about Friday and I will call you again when I can explain. I promise. We'll talk, ok? Just give me a couple more days. I'm sorry Beca."

Chloe hung up before Beca could agree or say her "I'm sorry too".

Chloe had barely been able to finish her sentences and she still hadn't made any decision about moving. But it also seemed to Beca like she had been trying to placate her. _She said she's not punishing me. If she was going to reject me she'd have done it already, right?_

However, Chloe had asked her not to call, to just to give her time. For a couple of days. Just a couple of days. Beca took that to means two, maybe three. But Beca didn't speak to or hear from Chloe for five days, and she was struggling with the separation. If she could only see her, talk to her.

Asking someone who loves you to wait was a pretty good way to make that person fear the worst.

Beca stayed late at work every evening that week, hoping that being occupied might halt the growing panic and dread. It didn't. She was working at half speed. She was forgetting to do simple routine things like going to the supermarket and collecting her mail. As she was leaving her apartment building for work on Friday morning, she saw the overflow from her mail box. She unlocked the box and scooped all of its contents into her satchel. She scanned through it before closing her bag, and picked out the heavy envelope with the Atlanta postmark. On opening it, she laughed and looked around the empty foyer. It seemed like a moment so absurd that should have been shared. Fate, the universe, or whatever bullshit had been messing with them had delivering another Bella wedding. Disregarding any karmic forces working in her corner, Beca took it as simply an opportunity to show Chloe again who she was now and how she had changed since falling in love with her best friend. And it did not need careful planning or any extravagant grand gesture.

When she arrived at work thirty minutes later, she located a quiet meeting room and called Chloe.

"Chloe Beale speaking." It was a lot like Chloe's cheerful phone voice, but Beca knew her. She could hear the buried strain.

"Please don't hang up on me Chloe, just let me ask you one 'yes or no' question, and let me tell you one thing."

There was a natural pause but Beca only heard Chloe's breathing.

"I guess you got an invitation to Emily's wedding too? Ok, well, I want you to RSVP 'no' to that invitation Chloe. And the reason I would like you to do that is because, the thing that I want to ask you is - will you come with me, as my plus one? Will you be my date Chloe?"

She didn't pause now, not letting Chloe speak. One question, one statement and hang up.

"And the thing that I wanted to say to you Chloe is this - I love you. I knew it the moment you drove away at the reunion, and I should have said it to you every day since."

She couldn't avoid pausing now, anticipating a response, and again she faintly heard Chloe inhale, like she was about to speak.

"I'm in love with you, Chloe Beale." It almost made her weep to finally say it. Then she immediately ended the call and quickly typed out a text message.

Beca M [8.43] : I'll be at home tonight from 7pm. Please come around so we can talk. Please Chloe. I love you.

 **oOo**

Beca was home by six. She watched the hour tick by as she paced the apartment with no purpose. At two minutes past seven she decided Chloe wasn't coming. At five past she changed her mind - her message had said "from 7pm". Chloe might be stuck at work or in traffic, or she could be waiting to avoid traffic. At quarter past she thought since it was Friday, Chloe probably had other plans already.

Chloe arrived at twenty past seven.

Standing at her door, Beca couldn't read Chloe's expression. Hearing Beca's declaration of love had not caused any changes to Chloe's physical appearance. She just looked tired.

"I'm glad you came. Come in." Beca started to force a smile but caught herself and stopped.

As Chloe stepped inside, the ritual began. Chloe glanced at the photos on the hall table and Beca pretended not to notice. But Chloe didn't look away from them this time. She stared at the third photo. Beca picked it up, noticing Chloe's eyes following, still fixed on it. She spoke to the picture as she explained.

"Stacie took this at the reunion, at the restaurant after our performance."

It was a shot of Beca and Chloe, both clearly unaware of the photographer. Chloe had an arm draped across the back of Beca's chair while Beca's hand was extending under the table, obviously resting on Chloe's thigh or knee. They were both leaning in towards the other with full smiles.

"I took it out to hide it from you, that first day you came around here, and I just left the picture that came with the frame. I noticed how you looked at it then, and how you checked it again every time you came round, but you never asked why I have a picture of a random couple on the beach. It made me laugh so I left it.

"When she sent it to me, Stacie said she couldn't believe nobody else figured out what was going on between us. She said she could have taken a hundred photos just like this during that week."

Chloe wasn't looking at the photo anymore. Beca could feel her stare and steeled herself to meet it. She returned the photo to its place on the table and turned to face Chloe.

Chloe's face was still difficult to read, but Beca could see the quickening of her breathing in the rise and fall of Chloe's chest. Beca though she might be about to walk straight back out the door. When Chloe took a predatory step closer to Beca, she wavered between matching the move and backing away from it.

Chloe grabbed Beca's shoulders and pulled her closer. She seemed to be studying Beca's face, searching for something there.

Then Beca felt her back pressing against the door as Chloe pushed her into it. She heard Chloe's moan about the same moment that she felt their lips connect. Beca's arms wrapped around Chloe and she pulled them closer together. Without breaking from the kiss Chloe grabbed Beca's thighs and easily lifted her off the ground. With all her limbs now wrapped around Chloe, Beca planted kissed on Chloe's face and neck as she was carried to her bedroom. Chloe dropped Beca onto the bed and crawled on top of her with her hands moving down towards Beca's hips.

Chloe still hadn't spoken a single word since she'd arrived.

"Chloe, wait!" Beca said, though her hands were not moving to stop Chloe's actions.

Chloe just shook her head and Beca compliantly lifted her hips when Chloe started to pull her jeans down. When they were discarded on the floor, Chloe straddled Beca's hips and leaned forward.

"That was probably the worst word you could possibly say to me right now, Beca."

Before Beca could react to those words, Chloe was laughing and pushing the bottom of Beca's shirt up. And Beca surrendered, letting Chloe take whatever she desired.

 **oOo**

As Beca was catching her breath, Chloe got off the bed and stood up.

"Hey?" Chloe said with a smile, "We should talk. Get dressed and come to the kitchen," she said as she walked towards the door.


	29. Wedding 4 - Part 2

All that week Chloe had been acutely aware of the anguish she must have be causing Beca, and she hated that she was doing it. After she called on Sunday she had intended to call Beca again within two days like she promised. But it felt like she'd set a deadline for herself, one which Beca would be depending on, and that gave Chloe even more anxiety. It didn't help that the working week was always busy and she couldn't create enough time and space to fully deal with all the changing feelings she was going through after seeing those old messages.

At first she felt shame for having doubted Beca's intentions. Chloe admitted to herself that only a week or two after the reunion, she was already waiting for Beca to fail. She was expecting that Beca would let her down. And she'd done nothing to change the situation. But how could she have predicted that Beca would do something so monumental? It was so out of character.

Disappointment and regret came next. If they had just talked more back then. If she hadn't been so stubborn about who should call whom, she probably would have drawn Beca's plan out of her over the phone.

Finally anger took over. Why didn't Beca ever tell her? They could have avoided so much unnecessary pain.

By then it was Wednesday and she had missed the return deadline, and she wouldn't call Beca when she was feeling this angry towards her. That would not produce the outcome she wanted from her next conversation with Beca. So she needed more time, and only a few more days, hopefully.

When she'd seen Beca's name on an incoming call that morning, her first thought was that she'd left it too late – Beca had had enough and she was calling to put an end to the absurd games they were still playing. It scared Chloe. Then when she heard the pleading and desperation in the first words that Beca said, she was brought right back to the feelings of shame from a week earlier.

Two minutes later when Beca hung up, Chloe felt like she had completely melted. Of course she would go to Beca's that night. She wanted to go, to see her and to finally resolve this.

She really hadn't planned to end up in Beca's bed. But standing there in the hall, with that photo, and the way Beca was talking about it, her desire took control.

It was base and needy and neither of them had communicated what it meant. It was not creating a special or unforgettably memory.

 **oOo**

As she sat in Beca's kitchen now, waiting for her, Chloe couldn't account for why she had done it. She had been unguarded, maybe even desperate and as she tried to replay what had just happened, in a futile effort to find some logical explanation for why she let it happen, she realised she couldn't even recall many details of Beca's bedroom now. What colour were the sheets? What other furniture did she have in the room? How many windows in the room? Did it smell the same as the rest of the apartment, did it have Beca's distinct scent?

What she was feeling however, wasn't regret.

Beca shuffled towards the kitchen and stood at the entrance until Chloe saw her.

"I wasn't expecting that," Beca said. Chloe could hear the apprehension in her voice.

"What just happened Chloe? Was that goodbye? Is that what it meant?"

"No!" Chloe replied. She was surprised and a little guilty that Beca would have considered it that way. "I wasn't expecting that either, not right away anyway." Chloe winked, disarming Beca, hoping to reassure her. "I came here to talk to you, but after what you said on the phone this morning, it was always a possibility that things would go in that direction."

They both laughed, but it was tentative and the air was still tense. Beca hadn't moved, she was still standing at a distance, only halfway into the kitchen area.

"It didn't mean goodbye," Chloe said. She extended a hand and invited Beca to join her at the table. "Sit down, Beca. I have to explain."

"I'm sorry about this week. I know it was rough for you and you wouldn't have known that I wasn't giving up on you. I just had to spend some time thinking about how we've always screwed this up before, and my part in that," Chloe kept her eyes low, focused on her clasped hands.

"What are you talking about?" Beca said. She finally came closer and took the seat across from Chloe.

"Remember that night when I tried to get in the shower with you? The reason I did that was because I thought you wanted it and I wasn't thinking about the consequences. I thought you were just being weird and nervous about saying what it was that you wanted.

'I didn't know that the reason you were acting like that was because I had asked you about why you went to New York."

"Right. Chloe there is something I never told you, about my work trips to New York." Beca's hand inched across the table towards Chloe's but without touching it.

"I know about your trips to New York for work, and why you started taking them. I saw the messages that you sent me when I had already left overseas.

"You wrote this to me - 'I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.' A year ago you wrote that to me." Chloe watched for Beca's reaction. Would it make her uncomfortable? To know that Chloe had read those texts. Beca was taken aback, sure, but not embarrassed. She hadn't pulled her hand back.

"You also said 'My heart was breaking, being away from you.'" When she'd read that, Chloe couldn't imagine those words ever falling from Beca's lips. Not now and certainly not at the time she'd written them. She looked at Beca again as she said it. Would it embarrass her to hear the words repeated back to her?

"I did write that, because my heart was breaking," Beca replied. She moved her hand the final few inches. She turned Chloe's hand over and traced patterns on Chloe's palm with her thumb.

When did you read those?' Beca said.

"Last Friday, when I had your phone while I was waiting for you to get ready." She didn't see any need to apologise now - the messages were intended for her and Beca should have told her. Chloe didn't have to ask the next question out loud either.

"That's what I did a year ago to be with you. But I got it wrong and it didn't work. How could I use that to show you what I'd do to be with you now? How could I tell you now without it sounding like I was accusing you of something, of being the one most to blame?"

Chloe understood what she was trying to say but it occurred to her that had Beca mentioned it recently, it would have helped. It would have helped both of them. If she'd included it in what she'd said that day when she'd asked for a second chance, Chloe possibly would have made her decisions a lot sooner on the two related dilemmas she was facing.

Beca maybe didn't need to hear that right now.

"If this is going to work, you have to tell me what's going on with you. You can't keep things from me," Chloe said.

"Like if I was planning to move to the other side of the country in the next few months? You'd expect that I would share something like that with you?"

"I'm not moving back to New York."

"So we are not friends anymore. Good."

Chloe knew, she'd known for that whole month, that they were past being friends. What they had been in that time, was that limbo state between more than friends and in a relationship. It was the fun and safe phase, the love-struck pursuit of someone, the early days before people start hurting each other. It also was always a temporary phase. She'd known and tried to ignore that too.

"Chloe, you can't keep things from me either. The last few days have been really shitty, not knowing what was going on with you."

"I know.

"The past month I was really enjoying the way you were pursuing me. I loved it – all the flirting and teasing. But it only made me avoid making any decision even more. When I told you that I wanted things to stay the same I guess it meant that I wanted to stay in that honeymoon bubble forever. I knew it couldn't last but I wanted to keep it going as long as you would bear it, because I was scared about when we crossed to the next step. That's when things usually start to go wrong.

"I couldn't talk to you about the job in New York. I couldn't even think rationally about it myself because it was impossible to separate that decision from the one about you.

"I have been keeping things from you too. I'm sorry. I was keeping things from you even back then after the reunion. My heart was breaking being away from you too, but I didn't tell you either. And I didn't tell you how much I was hurting, and I blamed you completely."

Chloe squeezed the hand that was still drawing feather-light circles on her palm. She leaned forward across the table, and Beca did the same.

"Do you know, that until today you had never said that you loved me?" Chloe said between the soft kisses.

"Chloe?" Beca said, drawing back and settling in her chair again. Chloe had only meant it to tease. They both knew the feelings they shared for each other now. "I wanted to say it back but I had this stupid idea that it wasn't enough unless I could prove it. I didn't want to say anything, not even 'I love you' until there was more. Not 'I love you but how can we ever be together when we live so far apart?' Not 'I love you but my career is too important right now'. I thought it wouldn't have been enough. It wouldn't have changed anything if we were still living thousands of miles from each other."

"It would have change things - we could have found a way together. Even if you had just said you loved me, it would have changed everything for me."

"I know that now," Beca said.

"We really need to to stop screwing this up, and maybe learn to communicate a bit better."

I agree. The screw it up, then fix it, then screw it up again routine is getting a bit tiresome."

"We are getting a lot better the fixing-things-after-we-screw-them-up part, don't you think? I mean you are really improving you skills in paring back how you express your feelings and not overwhelming me with the intensity of your passion."

"True, and I have noticed how you've been working really hard to let your walls down and finally let someone into your heart."

They sat in silence, smiling at each for what felt to Chloe like a full minute or more. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence.

Then Beca stood up and began to walk back to her bedroom. She was less than half way down the hall, when Chloe got up from her seat and followed her.

"You know, it's going to be very hard to forget my feelings for Chloe when I have her around all the time," Beca said to herself, deliberately loud enough for Chloe to hear. She glanced back when Chloe laughed, then Chloe noticed the sound of her own footsteps on the floorboards getting faster as she chased Beca into the room.

They shared a special and unforgettable time that evening.

Chloe was done blaming herself or blaming Beca for things that had happened in the past. She decided it was best to save that for the mistakes they make in the future.

Chloe didn't go back to her apartment that night and they spent every minute of the weekend together. At times, to Chloe, it felt similar to the reckless days of the reunion with the same blind passion. But how could it be reckless when she knows that Beca doesn't give her heart easily but she gave it to Chloe? Or when she knows Beca doesn't do grand gestures but she did, twice, for Chloe? Or when she gives her heart too easily but knows she can trust Beca with it?


	30. Epilogue

Beca just knew that Chloe was feeling nervous, and that she didn't want to admit it. After Chloe had taken far more time than necessary to get ready, they were finally walking out the hotel towards the the lawn where the wedding party was gathered. The marquee at the end of the gardens was simple and elegant, and the weather had turned out perfectly for Emily and Benji's wedding.

Beca had taken Chloe's hand and had not let go since they walked out of their room. Chloe squeezed it a little harder as they started to get closer and to see the crowd. They were less than a minute away from the moment when everyone would recognise them and see that they were together.

"You know that everyone is going to be so excited for us," Beca said, "It's pretty funny that you are the one who is being weird and awkward today."

Chloe halted. "Oh my god, you're right," she said.

Beca rolled her eyes - Chloe's dramatics kept delaying them. She pulled on Chloe's hand but she wasn't moving until she got Beca's attention. So Beca turned and faced her.

"Beca? When did we start turning into each other?"

Beca chuckled. She cupped Chloe's face and then leaned in to give her a quick kiss.

"It was right after we broke each other's hearts," she said. She took Chloe's hand again and this time when she pulled on it Chloe responded and they started walking towards the crowd.

"This place is a massive improvement on the Verano hotel," Beca said.

"The Verano hotel? What?"

"Never mind. Come on. Let's find Emily."

Emily was occupied with guests and too distracted to notice their joined hands as Beca and Chloe approached her. When Emily launched herself at Beca first, it forced her to let go of Chloe's hand.

"It's great to see you guys. I was a bit confused by your RSVPs. Were you trying to help me out by keeping the numbers down or couldn't either of you get a guy to be your plus one for the day?"

"I probably could have scored a date for today, but I don't think my girlfriend would put up with that," Beca said. She took Chloe's hand again, and smiled at her girlfriend. Emily looked at Beca's grin then at Chloe's matching one.

"Chloe's my girlfriend," Beca added. Emily got it already, Beca just liked saying it.

"Oh," Emily said, and then again more thoughtfully, "Oh". She was nodding her head, her expression far away. Beca and Chloe waited for her to say something more.

"I wouldn't have thought you two were really compatible. Don't you drive each other crazy all the time?"

"Emily?" Chloe scolded, throwing her free hand up in front of the bride's face. Beca was still grinning. It was a valid point, one she and Chloe had argued about enough times.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that you aren't ... I guess opposites attract, right?" Emily said.

"It's OK Emily. We have surprised you with this," Beca said.

"Yes, but... I'm sorry. Let me start over. What I mean is I think that's awesome. I'm really happy for both of you.

"So when did this all start between you two?"

"Umm," Beca said. She looked to Chloe, like they were calculating it together, but really trying to avoid the question. They were unlikely to agree on how to answer. For Beca it had started at the reunion, but she knew it was earlier for Chloe. But it had all been so horribly messy for so long. She could tell Emily that it was when they officially became a couple just a month ago, but would Chloe be ok with that? With dismissing all the false starts and mistakes, but also the moments of true intimacy and connection between them, up to that time?

"We don't have time to talk about that now Emily," Chloe said, "It's your wedding day, and you need to get ready for the service, ok? We'll see you after."

Beca led Chloe away towards a group of their Bella friends, who were all gaping at them. Chloe leaned over and whispered to Beca, "We are going to be asked that question again today, probably more than once." Beca noticed that Chloe was still squeezing very tightly on her hand.

She was right. The Bellas bombarded them with questions about their relationship. They were not going to lie but it wasn't going to please anyone to hear the not so fluffy details of their journey to this point. Beca didn't want to revisit many of those memories and she assumed Chloe wasn't willing to reveal certain details either. It appeared that they were being coy, which only increased the badgering from the Bellas.

"I'm not surprised it took you guys so long, but I always thought you two would make a great couple." Stacie said.

"But listen to me you two," she continued, "you know there is a good chance that you are going to screw this up?"

"Well of course there is Stacie," Beca replied, "I mean Chloe is so annoyingly positive, all the time. She talks too much and she always wants to share every little thing that she's thinking and feeling."

"And Beca is still so sarcastic, it really grates on me. And it takes her forever to work out what she feels about anything," Chloe said.

"You still haven't answered the question," Amy said, "When did you two get together?"

"Let's just say it took us a while to figure it out, but we have been together, officially, for about a month," Beca said. She turned to Chloe to check that she was ok with that explanation. Chloe reached a hand around Beca's neck and pulled her close. They kissed, right there, with all the Bellas staring at them.

 **oOo**

 **oOoOo**

 **oOo**


End file.
